Ayyyy!

With Lindsay temporarily inconvenienced by rehab, people are starting to get restless.  There just aren’t enough starlets spiralling out of control and that gives us precious little to tut-tut about.  As a sort of interim or stopgap measure, some are suggesting that we look in the direction of Mary Kate Olsen:

“Mary-Kate Olsen was wearing a see-through green dress. She was completely wasted, she was humping and grinding against a column with another girl. Then she was flailing all over the dance floor.

“Later, Mary-Kate made out with various questionable men while friends took pictures. She then fell over onto a table and proceeded to break every glass on the table before toppling over onto everyone sitting behind her. It was shocking.”

Hang on a minute….that just sounds like your typical office Christmas party, especially when you know bonuses are going to be extra good.  Who hasn’t dry-humped a piece of architecture with their girlfriends? Who hasn’t posed for photos with a stranger’s tongue down their throat? Who hasn’t passed out to the soothing sounds of shattering glass?

Suddenly Mary-Kate doesn’t sound so “shocking” anymore. She definitely needs to work on developing her partying skills if she wants to earn some solid disapproval. And anyway doesn’t it seem like Ashley is the one who needs some help?

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 6th, 2007 at 12:40 pm by Spirit Fingers and is filed under Fashion Victim, Starlets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.