Kiera Knightley….Ayyyy!
By Manolo the ShoebloggerManolo says, sometimes, we must all have our say…
MANOLO: Ayyyyy! She is so ethereal! Like the wisps of fog on the Scottish moors, only colder and not quite as inviting.
PLUMCAKE: and probably not as popular with the sheep.
SPIRIT FINGERS: That’s so dangerous. Somebody could take it as an invitation to stake her. And then we’d be left with a little pile of Keira dust. Which won’t do for Chanel photoshoots. Or would it?
PLUMCAKE: Of course it would. Karl would just sprinkle her over one of Coco’s old couches and then take pictures of the cleaning lady going to town with the lint roller. Fashion is the dust of existence! It’s inspired.
MANOLO (making sign of the cross): Bend it Like Nosferatu
SPIRIT FINGERS: POTC: Dead Woman’s Chest!
MANOLO: i’m in ur grave poking u with my ribs.
PLUMCAKE: I for one think it’s brilliant. It’s high time that someone finally turned Wuthering Heights into a zombie flick. Because you know what Bronte sorely lacks? Undead starlets with chainsaws for arms. (not pictured: chainsaw arm)
SPIRIT FINGERS: People Mag actually had the temerity to ask whether this look was “Hit or Miss?”. If only all of life’s questions were so simple!
MANOLO: They are. Hit or miss? Anorexia or bulemia? Dead or undead?
SPIRIT FINGERS: I heard she’s using the “Periorbital hematoma” brand of eyeshadow.
PLUMCAKE: Is that Latin for the blood of fifty virgins?
MANOLO: Good luck finding those in Hollywood.
SPIRIT FINGERS: She’s going for a statuesque pose but I’m telling you, not even the pigeons of St Mark’s Square would land on her. And they’re a pretty open-minded bunch, as far as pigeons go.
PLUMCAKE: Oooh, dissed by Italianate sky rats. You’re a cold woman Spirit Fingers. Let’s braid hair.
SPIRIT FINGERS: Sounds like a plan. See ya Keira wouldn’t want to be ya!
September 7th, 2007 at 10:35 am
Funniest. Post. Ever.
September 7th, 2007 at 11:13 am
When I was a kid, and was bored with the outfits my Barbies had at their disposal, I would attempt to fashion them new clothing by twisting tissues around their bodies. That is what I’m reminded of here. Of course, the undead stuff is also spot-on (and hilarious!)
September 7th, 2007 at 11:28 am
Of course, she gets points for doing a great job with that duct tape.
September 7th, 2007 at 11:30 am
Gawd! I’m laughing so hard right now it’s not even funny!
You need to do more of these types of posts.
Luv
Poochie
http://www.shoedaydreams.com
September 7th, 2007 at 11:53 am
Where are her boobs?!
September 7th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Too. Funny. Seriously, on what planet did someone decide this emaciated, wan, ghostly countenance was an attractive look???
September 7th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
You need to write fiction.
September 7th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Oh, Goddess. Cannot stop laughing.
September 7th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
The Group Effort. It’s heart-warming.
September 7th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
[…] Give that girl a cheeseburger! Better yet, give her two….and fries and mayo and a milkshake. Hold her down if you have to. […]
September 7th, 2007 at 9:20 pm
Looks like a costume test for “Cailigula”
September 7th, 2007 at 11:31 pm
At 22 and with a body like that, her doctor really should start searching for undescended testes.
September 8th, 2007 at 12:47 am
Do you just sit around with a bottle of reisling, snarking on press photos? And if so, can I come???
September 8th, 2007 at 3:05 am
As much as I love Keira b/c she comes off relatively intelligent in interviews, that girl needs a stylist.
And the banter, comedy platinum! I miss your Hong Kong posts Spirit Fingers! No one gets it like you do.
September 8th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Bwahahahaaaa! Thanks for an amazing, hysterical post. Love the group effort.
September 10th, 2007 at 12:26 am
No, no, no, I’m far more excited about Plumcake’s suggestion of a remake of Wuthering Heights as a zombie flick.
I can see it now: “Heeeeeathcliffe, come and join your undead bride.”
My husband Nicky has always described Wuthering Heights as a classic ghost story.
But adding zombies only makes it better.
September 10th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
Brilliant. They can stop the Internet now, this post was IT.
April 15th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
haha no one can stop us now… some of these celebs are ridiculous!