Ayyyy! Heath Ledger!
By Manolo the Shoeblogger
MANOLO: “Do Not Block the Grease Trap”
SPIRIT FINGERS: To be fair, the invite did say “dumb casual”.
MANOLO: “Do Block Plummet Into Despair”
PLUMCAKE: Did he beat up Chloe Sevigny for those sunglasses and if so, does that make the outfit awesome by default? Subquestion: why does the thought of a Ledger/Sevigny smackdown that make me feel like that time at sleepaway camp when Shelly Landau put Gold Bond in my training bra?
SPIRIT FINGERS: I would put my money on Chloe throwing down hard on Heath. Girl has upper body strength. Plus she has nicer legs than Heath which means she would also win if they tried to settle things with a walkoff.
MANOLO: What is with the pockets on this jacket? Is this some sort of Australian thing?
SPIRIT FINGERS: I’m from Australia and I can confirm that it is. We need the pockets to store our pet marsupials, boomerangs and bush tucker.
MANOLO: “Bush Tucker?” The Manolo does not even wish to know what this is.
PLUMCAKE: …other than the cited reason for the divorce.
MANOLO: Ayyyyy! The Australian marsupial-storage pockets! They are annoying the Manolo!
SPIRIT FINGERS: This is advance promotion for the new Batman movie where he plays the Practical Joker, a hardened prankster with a really bad class attendance record. Holy cherry bombs, this is going to be more fun than watching Katie Holmes trying to emote in the first movie.
MANOLO: Ayyyyy! The mis-buttoned vest! It is annoying the Manolo!
SPIRIT FINGERS: Everyone is saying that those are “Where’s Waldo” socks. In Australia, you would say “Where’s Wally” instead. Not to be confused with Waldo which is a wallaby-shaped sex toy.
PLUMCAKE: aaand I’d like to premptively thank Spirit Fingers for tonight’s nightmare, which will doubtlessy feature small vibrating marsupials in droopy candy cane socks.
MANOLO: Ayyyy! The hat, the glasses, the backpack, the shorts, the socks, the shoes, the shirt, and presumably the underclothes, they are all annoying the Manolo!
MANOLO: This looks like the evolutionary chart: “L to R: Neanderthal — Medieval Peasant — Artist’s Conception of Man in 2525 AD.”
SPIRIT FINGERS: O Heath thou art a beacon of ugly in the oft murky world o’ celebritye fashyon.
PLUMCAKE: Two of these men have a Secret Shame, find out who on the next episode of “Guess Who Pees Sitting Down!”
SPIRIT FINGERS: Well that is actually Helena Christensen, Heath’s rumoured girlfriend, under all that hair.
MANOLO: Helena Christensen? Ayyyy, but the Danish age badly!
SPIRIT FINGERS: Heath has that expression on his face because he thought his buddy Stipey was taking him to a strip club to get over the breakup. Imagine his confusion when all the models started coming out. Why are they so flat-chested? Why aren’t they taking their clothes off? When are they going to bring out the Waldos dammit!?!
September 14th, 2007 at 9:22 am
[...] Manolo says, Ayyyy! Heath Ledger, Do Not Block Plummet into Despair! [...]
September 14th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Yet there is some consolation to provide the silver lining in all these crimes against good taste and elegance, Manolo: at least he is eschewing the abomination of the crocs!
September 14th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
Heath, pumpkin, get yourself a new stylist, ‘kay? The “haven’t bathed or slept in 4 days” look is SO 90’s….
September 14th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
Since when did he join The Big Apple Circus?
September 14th, 2007 at 11:44 pm
Dare I ask about “waldos”?
September 15th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Hmmm, Heaths idea of Bush Tucke….Bean sprouts, tofu, fetta cheese in a pita, about two days old. “I say old chap you really should wash behind the old wedding tackle.
September 15th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
I guess I’m not up on my celebrity stuff. Had NO idea he broke up with whatsherface.
September 15th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
That’s pretty damn funny dudes! However, some people don’t need to dress really fancy to be awesome, and Heath is one of them rare folk. And I have a feeling he dresses that way specifically to receive the above sorts of quips, dude. Better attention such as that then no attention at all, yo……
September 17th, 2007 at 9:47 am
Was scanning the blog with my 5YO son beside me. As the first hideous “do not block these doors” picture became visible, my boy said, “Is that guy a robber?” Tee hee. Fitting commentary.
September 17th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
[...] September 17th, 2007 at 12:55 pm (And now for something completely different, Just for Fun, Memories…, What tha..?) Fashion, or not. [...]
November 14th, 2007 at 10:56 am
[...] to gnaw her way through the all-you-can-destroy buffet of Hollywood man flesh. Next course: the sartorially challenged and child-like Heath Ledger. FORGET Dax Shephard; Kate Hudson has moved on to an actual movie star. [...]
March 18th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
I always thought he was cute, and even cuter when scruffy.