Poor Kristin Davis, she had no idea there were laws against murdering Dalmatian puppies and turning them into an exact replica of the outfit I wore to Penelope Throckmorton’s 6th grade boy-girl birthday party.
P.S. watch out for that Richard Kreisermann…I heard he went firsties during that George Michael slow jam.
What do you do when you’ve planned a romantic evening of Dianetics by candlenight and your human wife has a headache (yet again)?
Meet the KT1000 - most listless robot everrrr.
Tom, if that tight suit will allow you, I suggest you open the compartment in her back and replace the batteries. While you’re at it, you might as well install a wardrobe expansion pack. For both of you. Those clothes are so pre-AI.
Ever since Kyra found out that The Rock is back on the market, she’s been dressing differently around him. You know, on the off chance that her strapping Adonis of a co-star feels the urge to elope and get hitched in Vegas.
Tina Yothers (Jen from Family Ties) has a boy (People)
Salma Hayek has a girl (Yeeah)
Samantha Harris has a girl (DailyStab)
Charlotte Church has a girl, names her Ruby (PerezHilton)
Is Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus pregnant? (CeleBitchy)
Nicole Richie is visibly pregnant, not popping just yet (Celebrity Smack)
Brangelina shopping around for another orphan? (HollywoodOffender)
Posh, stripper; the only time you’ll see those two words together (Agent Bedhead)
Miss USA throws Katie Couric some tude (I’mNotObsessed)
Lohan still playing to type in rehab (HolyCandy)
How Celebrities escape conviction (CityRag)
Barry Manilow’s plastic surgery, deconstructed (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
George Clooney, road warrior (WOWreport)
Viggo Mortensen’s nekkid moneymaker (NSFW, Mollygood)
Chris Crocker, from Myspace Hero to Myspace layout (MyMyspace Layouts)
PLUMCAKE’S EMBATTLED INTERNAL DIALOGUE: No. I can’t. It’s too easy. Not on a Monday. Show some decency. But…but I’ve got to. It’s just too perfect. I mean with the calendar and everything, besides technically it’s helping people…maybe…technically. *sigh* Fine. Okay. But you’re only doing it to help. Here goes…
Rap moguls Kanye West and Jay-Z would like to remind you that, yes, September IS Prostate Cancer Awareness Month.
…there, happy now? I need a shower.
I do so love it when Mariah comes out to play, as she did recently for the VH1 Save the Music Foundation Gala. Without a mike to hold, she has absolutely no idea what to do with her hands. It’s not as if you could use them to pick up your own drink or do other stuff:
MARIAH CAREY is doing nothing for her diva image with the revelation that she has a personal assistant who is solely responsible for her tit tape.
After she attended a VH1 event last week it has emerged that she has a dedicated member of her entourage for the enviable job.
A source said: “One assistant was in charge of dishing out breast tape, another wore a belt with brushes and hair spray and another one had portable heated rollers.
“The bathroom was shut down for 10 minutes for Mariah to be primped and preened.
Manolo says, okay, so it is not Posh Spice, exactly. But it is the same haircut, and no less annoying.
Today I woke up and discovered that I was living in a world where Kate Winslet looks slightly better than Michael Jackson but slightly worse than Bill Maher. Well, according to TV Predictions’ 2007 list of 10 Worst looking Celebrities in HDTV anyway:
6. Kate Winslet
In high-def, the Titanic star reminds me of that famous line from Austin Powers: “It’s a man, baby!” The older Kate gets, the more masculine she looks. And, in up-close HDTV, it doesn’t look like she takes care of herself. Her skin is blotchy and ruddy.
Kate, you manly and unattractive troll. Oh crap, I think my brain just exploded from trying to make sense of the previous sentence.
PS: A painting of her HDTV unfriendly butt is up for bidding at paint4poverty.com
When the producers rounded up the whole gang for the Sex and the City movie, they even managed to include that dreaded floral monstrosity that plagued all the accessories stores during the show’s heyday. Now it’s back, and bigger than ever before. Carrie better be feeding that thing regularly or else it could start snacking on her during the night like so:
If The Jane Austen Book Club is anything like Maggie Grace’s piece of boring haberdashery at the LA premiere, I think I will give it a miss. Pirated DVDs aren’t as cheap as they used to be, you know. But at least Jane Austen herself would have approved of what Maggie wore. In her own words:
Dress is at all times a frivolous distinction, and excessive solicitude about it often destroys its own aim.
Geez Jane, sometimes you can be such a downer.
“I believe the Aborigines say that every photo takes away a bit of your soul. It’s very odd but I think there’s definitely some truth in that.”
Well, that explains SO much.
Sting and his wife Trudie seem to be doing well in the aftermath of his recent visit to some German brothel. You know what they say, if you love something, set it free in the Hamburg red light district. When it comes back to you, it will murmur into your ear, “My love, I will never leave you for a high-class German prostitute. Not while we still have so many more tantric positions to try out.”
