Ayyyy!

Heather Mills is the Wicked Witch of the Wasteland (AgentBedhead)

Monster Thriller Horror Celebrity Roundup (HolyCandy)

Britney’s Party in the Potty (CelebritySmack)

Is Angelina preggo? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Lane Garrison about to get 3 years experience working the orange jumpsuit (Dlisted)

Frankenbust! (CityRag)

Jon Bon Jovi has more street cred than we ever dreamed (DailyStab)

Lance Armstrong and an Olsen??? (I’mNotObsessed)

Britney’s lawyers handle “all that stuff” ie the kids (PopSugar)

When Pierce Brosnan attacks! (NinjaDude)

RIP, Robert Goulet (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Michael Jackson haunts Brooklyn (MollyGood)

Lindsay Lohan bails on New Year’s bash (Yeeeah)

Happy Halloween! Your kid looks slutty! (CeleBitchy)

The View goes all-transvestite for Halloween! (Defamer)

Joan Collins gave us quite the scare recently when she showed up at the Angel Ball, clinging onto her fur stole for dear life while everyone else was content to pose with bare shoulders and cleavage. Had her once robust body resistance gone so low that the slightest movement of air threatened to bring her down with pneumonia?

No, of course not you silly geese.  Nobody ever caught a respiratory infection while wearing high quality, sturdy bra cups that light up like an x-ray under the glare of flash photography.

Where the distorted faces of the once-pretty mock your every attempt to escape back into the land of celebrities with attractive bone structure.  Please, I invite you to figure out who lies beneath (or go barking mad trying to do so).

Okay, I can figure out where the candle goes, but I’m not sure I want to take off the top.

Manolo says, if it is in Russia Today, it must be true, yes?

World-famous socialite Paris Hilton has set this year’s Moscow Fashion Week alight. She’s caused a media frenzy by appearing at the show of teenage Russian designer Kira Plastinina. The event was held at an exclusive venue in central Moscow.

The hotel-chain heiress attracted more attention to herself than to the clothes she flew in to promote.

The huge crowd at 15-year-old Plastinina’s show applauded Hilton’s every move, clapping enthusiastically as she smiled and pointed out the most interesting designs on the catwalk.

When it was all over, the A-list celebrity presented the whiz kid fashion maestro with a huge bouquet of flowers.

[…]

According to reports, she’s getting about $US 2 million for her two or three days’ work.

Let the Manolo be the first to say, You paid Paris Hilton $2 Million American dollars!!!! Dude, you got played!

Most sensible people would pay Paris to stay away from their teenage daughters.

Just when you convinced yourself that it was relatively safe to undertake transatlantic travel again, Naomi Campbell’s temper decides to rear its fearsome head:

Campbell, who recently forced to attend anger-management classes -arrived just 11 minutes before her flight was due to take-off from London’s Heathrow airport; and demanded to be let on.  Sources at the scene claim that 37-year-old Naomi stamped her feet and whined: “You have to let me on. Come on.”

British Airways staff said she was too late but did offer to let her travel without her luggage and send her bags on a later flight. But Naomi yelled: “You are joking. You are always losing bags and I don’t trust you with mine in a million years. “I can’t believe you won’t allow ME on your flight. What is this? Who must I speak to?”

A source told Britain’s Daily Mirror newspaper: “When BA staff explained she was too late, she exploded and stamped her foot. There was a tirade of abuse.”

While she may have done a glamourous community service stint and the obligatory anger management classes, it still hasn’t addressed the root of her problems.  Clearly the woman needs help - in the form of a human punching bag.

Manolo says, is this image some historical tableau, one perhaps entitled, “Things that outraged us in 1963, but now are simply lame.”

Is it just me, or is anyone else overwhelmed by the number of celebrities out there with unconfirmed pregnancies?

Manolo say, On The good ship Lollipop, it’s a quick trip to the porno shop.

P.S. Paris Hilton Costume #1

without using the word “dentata“

If you are still locked in the throes of indecision, fret no further for I have given you below the visual tools to looking utterly fabulous on the scariest night of the year - the pointed hat & chin combo, the self adhesive werewolf hair patch, the full length fully-lined cape and Richard Grieco.

For the lovesick couples, I invite you to eschew the Brangelina, the Bill and Hillary or the Beckhams and go as something way more mysterious and spooky, even alltogether ooky. Something neat..sweet..petite (da da da da dum, snap snap).

Switching Places: Old Rock Dude Edition (AgentBedhead)

Claridge’s hates Courtney Love (CeleBitchy)

Keith Richards may not be as immortal as previously thought (Divine)

Owen Wilson’s MySpace interview (Defamer)

Jeri Ryan is pregnant, pretty, political (EvilBeet)

Trick or Treat or TomKat (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Violet Affleck and Jennifer Garner ticklefight in Central Park (I’mNotObsessed)

Teri Hatcher is a Halloween Queen (InCaseYouDidn’tKnow)

Orlando Bloom wearing prison stripes but not going to prison (PopSugar)

Harry Potter, the Half-Blood Prince, and Dumbledore’s “beard protector” (JustJared)

Fox anchor or Pornstar? Take the quiz (BestWeekEver)

Fun with Amy Winehouse! (CelebritySmack)

William! Shatner! Not! In! New! Trek! (Jossip)

Please let it be Prince Harry (Dlisted)

Angelina Jolie needs a telethon of her own! (Dana’s Dirt)

Jerry Seinfeld, fashion critic; Renee Zellweger, straight man (GoFugYourself)

Jessica Alba has a clone! (HollywoodOffender)

Paris Hilton’s foreign pornshop rampage (HolyCandy)

Shaquille O’Neil, deadbeat? (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

‘Nother Naomi Campbell freakout (DerekHail)

Ryan Gosling is the new Winona Ryder? (WendyWayrad)

Hugh Grant and Elizabeth Hurley together again (DailyMail)