Ayyyy! Bootsy Collins!
By Manolo the Shoeblogger
PLUMCAKE: Just like the commercial says, “Double your pleather, double your fun.”
SPIRIT FINGERS: Bootsy refers to it as P-Leather, a squeakier soundin’, more synthetic feelin’ version of P-Funk.
MANOLO: What the outfit really needs is the walking stick, one with the giant, 900-carat cubic zirconium knob on the end.
PLUMCAKE: Fun fact: prior July 4, 1960 Bootsy’s entire outfit only had 48 stars.
SPIRIT FINGERS: Every wife’s worst nightmare – “Honey, I got them to make one in your size as well. With FRINGE DETAIL.”
MANOLO: You will notice, however, that Mrs. Bootsy got to pick out her own shoes…although, who wears sandals with chaps?
PLUMCAKE: Originally Madame Bootsy was going to wear star-shaped sunnies as well, but opted for plain shades as to not be “too matchy.”
SPIRIT FINGERS: Oh is that what they are? I thought Bootsy’s retinas had ruptured and filled his glasses with blood. It’s what happens when you stare too long at their outfits.
RICHARD SIMMONS: Oh! Oh! Officer! Help Officer! I’ve been robbed! No, I don’t know what they look like, but there were two of them!
BOOTSY’S COUTURIER: It was a bad line..I couldn’t hear properly…I didn’t realise he wanted me to fuNk up his threads beyond belief.
SPIRIT FINGERS: You should see the horse they rode into town on. It would make an entire meadow of My Little Ponies keel over in apoplexy.
MANOLO: Horse? The Manolo would have assumed that they rode in on some sort of steam-powered calliope.
PLUMCAKE: Poor Bootsy no one had the heart to tell him that he didn’t get the lead in The Detroit Ho-Smacker’s Repertory Theatre’s summer stock production of The Music Man.
SPIRIT FINGERS: Imagine how infinitely better the movie would have been if these two had caught the 3:10 to Yuma.
October 19th, 2007 at 10:52 am
Bootsy rocks. Always has, always will. Is that Mrs. Bootsy?
October 19th, 2007 at 11:34 am
I totally agree – he rocks indeed! Where is Baby Bootsy?
October 19th, 2007 at 11:53 am
I’m with you guys – Bootsy is like a musical Superman. Are Superman’s underwear and tights stupid? Absolutely. Should he wear them ALWAYS? Absolutely. This is Bootsy’s superhero uniform.
October 19th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
But this is Bootsy Collins! It’s like blaming a fish for swimming or a cat for being judgemental. This is just how and what and who he (and his Misses I guess) IS.
October 19th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
wind me up!
October 22nd, 2007 at 3:57 pm
Yeah seriously. This is like making fun of how Prince dresses. The badassness always shines through, no matter how much pink, purple or pleather is involved. That and the Superman analogy is possibly the best ever.