Josh Hartnett, whiny amateur
By Spirit Fingers
Far from being grateful about continuing to get work despite his paucity of talent, Josh Hartnett has been moaning over his experience with yak hair:
“They made the beard out of yak hair because it’s curly, I guess… but they wouldn’t tell me that. They told me it was made out of human hair, from some Eastern European prostitute’s hair.
“It was the worst because… it would fall out and, if you were eating, you’d get little pieces of yak hair in your food. It’s like yak DNA and no one tells you where the yak hair comes from on the yak.”
Quit your incessant whining, you squinty-faced ingrate. Some of your peers have been practically suffocating themselves in yak hair for several fashion seasons now, with nary a whimper. This sort of professionalism is precisely why Mary-Kate, rather than Josh, has received the gushing approval of Sir Ben Kingsley.
October 24th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
Actually, I think MK is wearing a unique coat made from the collected underarm hair of Christopher Walken and Chuck Norris.
October 24th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
Throw in Nick Nolte and you can get a matching beret.
October 25th, 2007 at 2:00 am
I love you, Spirit Fingers, though please don’t take it personally.
And I know just how Josh feels when surrounded by insane wig and makeup artistes who insist that only yak pubic hair will do for that perfect movie star grunge look.
October 25th, 2007 at 2:34 am
I hear that Jennifer Esposito makes a pretty good beard too - but might not last as long as Penelope Cruz’.
October 25th, 2007 at 4:56 am
sfmike, have you had a close encounter with yak crotch hair as well? Please give details!
October 25th, 2007 at 10:33 am
MK’s shoulders look like they’re in her ears and her head is trying to emmulate that of a turtle and retract into her jacket. Now I ask you, is this a person who should have their own clothing line? She looks deformed!
October 25th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Aww. I really liked Josh’s performance in 30 Days of Night. He really sold me on the small-town Alaskan sheriff — didn’t once get a twinge of ‘I’m too good for this part,’ that would have undoubtedly emanated from most of his peers. I have to think, if you can throw yourself that fully into a dimestore graphic novel brought to life, one that nobody in the world will take seriously but a horror movie fan, maybe you’re a decent guy in real life. Maybe.
October 25th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
This does nothing but torpedo my opinion of/faith in Ben Kingsley.
Also, I just suffered through the leaden “Black Dahlia” and old Josh is about as wooden as Keanu Reeves on his best day. And that’s positively Teak-y!