Ayyyy!

Grace Jones, the scariest Bond Girl ever, performs at Kate Moss’ Topshop bash wearing sheer leggings, a maillot and coordination cape (as per usual) and a corset belt made from the hides of her enemies. Although she forgot the cardinal rule of “powdering down” when you’re going to be photographed full length (the camera flash bounces differently off skin that has foundation or powder)  and there is a soupçon of nip, we must be fair and give mad props to her stylists as you can barely see the bolts on her neck.

Unfortunately this is what happens when two highly photographable people have absolutely no desire to be photographed with each other.

Cheer up kids, years from now you’ll both be able to look back on this, laugh uncomfortably and then quickly change the subject.

Manolo says, once again, America’s dimmest rock star, Kid Rock, has had the brush with the law.

Police said Ritchie [Kid Rock] was finishing up a post-show meal at a Waffle House on Buford Highway about 5:15 a.m. Sunday when a customer recognized a woman in his entourage and began exchanging words with her.

Ritchie joined in the altercation, which soon escalated into a physical fight between the rocker and the man, Harlem DeJon Akins, 39.

Soon, five other men in his entourage — including the guitarist and the bass player in his band, Twisted Brown Trucker — jumped into the fray, and the fight spilled from inside the restaurant into the parking lot, said police spokeswoman Mekka Parish.

When the brawl ended, Ritchie and his group got into their tour bus and left the scene. An officer pulled the bus over at Buford Highway and Lenox Road, and all five men were booked into jail on the misdemeanor battery charge.

Few phrases in the English language are as indicative of the depressing condition of modern pop culture as the words “Kid Rock and his entourage at the Waffle House”.

Having firmly cemented Spider-Man 3 as one of the most expensive and convoluted movies ever made, Sam Raimi has decided that it’s time to take Spider-Man 4 to a different level:

Raimi has previously discussed incorporating villains such as the Lizard, the Vulture and the Sinister Six, however it is understood the producers may consider a fresh storyline that splits off in a radical new direction. “Hopefully, we’ll hear one that sounds right for the fourth instalment,” Raimi said, adding later that he will decide on whether or not to direct once the right story has been found.

Sounds like an opportunity to do something really off the wall! Like replace Tobey with KD Lang! Fix Kirsten’s teeth! Better still, bring back James Franco as a new character, hellbent on bringing down New York City’s hygiene standards.  This summer…imagine a world with no running water or bath products. Imagine a world…ruled by the Sweat Hobo.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Don’t go JORJAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!! We LOVE You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CSI is NOTHING without SARA SIDLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Masi Oka could scarcely believe his eyes.  This was exactly like the dream he had three nights ago, right down to the gourmet fast food snuggling against Hayden’s lap. 

If ever there was a time he needed the powers of his onscreen character it was now.  With those talents, he would be able to skip forward past the first 30 seconds of gentle hair stroking to that specific juncture in time where his two co-stars embark on a french-kissing frenzy while he nods appreciatively in between burger bites.

Ben Kingsley has been so ebullient in his recent praise of the younger celebrities, I fear for the continued existence of the giant vein in his forehead.

On Mary-Kate Olsen:

“Mary-Kate is a genius,” he tells OK! mag. “She’s great company and a very good actor indeed.”

On Britney Spears:

She’s my role model, really. An inspiration, should I say?” He then goes on about his own “morning mantra,” which consists of him saying: “Give me, give me, give me, give me…” Before leaving, he says: “It starts my day, and my day gets better and better!”

Of the other tabloid covergirls he has remained tight-lipped for now, but let’s not allow that to stop the platitudes. Please, I invite you to insert your own Kingsleyism in the comments section. Here are some to get you started:

Paris Hilton: an angel from above..nay..a veritable goddess?
Lindsay Lohan: a paragon of virtue, quite simply, the best thing since sliced bread?
Mischa Barton:  pure unadulterated joy to watch, even when wearing high-waisted jeans?

Manolo says, Left: Donatella Versace.

Right: What she would look like without the plastic surgery

Say you’ve been invited to a gala event at London’s Royal Albert Hall to help raise funds for a charity called the Prince’s Trust. 

Naturally you’re going to think “Hmmm, maybe people will be more willing to fork over their money if I show a little skin…”

PLUMCAKE: Just like the commercial says, “Double your pleather, double your fun.”

SPIRIT FINGERS: Bootsy refers to it as P-Leather, a squeakier soundin’, more synthetic feelin’ version of P-Funk.

MANOLO: What the outfit really needs is the walking stick, one with the giant, 900-carat cubic zirconium knob on the end.

PLUMCAKE: Fun fact: prior July 4, 1960 Bootsy’s entire outfit only had 48 stars.

(more…)

Time magazine Feb 10, 1947:

Almost nobody at all will miss the fact that Cinemactress Kerr looks like everything Englishmen mean when they become lyrical about roses. Given this primary stuff that stars are made of, it is clear that Deborah is well on her way to becoming, as quickly as possible, the brightest and best movie star that the biggest and most proficient star factory in the world can make of her.

Demi Moore’s 2000 pounds of silicone (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jessica Biel is womanhandled (HolyCandy)

Mischa Barton shows her Sapphic side, too (DailyStab)

Britney loses visitation rights (TMZ)

Owen Wilson off the smack, on the Patron Silver (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay’s got a ring on her finger! (EvilBeet)

RIP Deborah Kerr: An Actress to Remember (GabbyBabble)

Norwegian wouldn’t: Amy Winehouse arrested in Bergen (HolyMoly)

The Michael Jackson/Teri Hatcher convertible Halloween mask (Defamer)

Joely Richardson makes Karen Carpenter look chubby (DailyMail)

Uma Thurman steals Britney’s look (HollywoodTuna)

Ben Affleck is gone, baby, gone (Mollygood)

Celebrity Moms on Parade: Jennifer Garner, Katie Holmes, Angelina Jolie, Julianne Moore, Maggie Gyllenhaal (yes, that’s her!!) and Kate Winslet (I’mNotObsessed)

Alice Evans in costume as The Widow Cobain (GoFugYourself)

David Beckham is ready to play the field (ASocialite’sLife)

Last remaining Rat Packer packs it in (WOWReport)