Aarggggghhhh, this is exactly why my ancestors built the Great Wall in the first place – to keep out the foreign invaders and their loud logos and their fantastical creations of cloth and their penchant for turning any bit of space into a catwalk:

With a section of the awe-inspiring, 4,000-mile-long structure snaking up the mountain behind them, 88 models walked a runway 88 meters long (the esteemed number eight connoting prosperity in China) in an expanded version of Fendi’s spring-summer collection.

It should be the other way round! If it’s serious about being the next superpower China should be conquering other world famous landmarks: Shaolin monks doing flying kicks and shooting energy balls from the Statue of Liberty, drag rickshaw racing over the Sydney Harbour Bridge, mahjong tournaments on the top deck of the Eiffel Tower, a giant wok cook-off in the middle of the Colosseum, and so forth.

Instead we have Zhang Ziyi cuddling up to a two-toned Kate Bosworth in winsome delight, acting as if she had never partied with a giant panda before.  This is most unpatriotic, I say. 

Willie Nelson’s celebrity tractor race (Stillisstillmoving)

If a sex doll could sing, it would sound like this (MrTabloid)

Celebrity houses in Malibu wildfire danger (I’mNotObsessed)

Nicole Kidman, fattie (HolyMoly)

Kate Moss, fattie (TheSkinnyWebsite)

Hayden Panettiere, fattie (CelebSlam)

Britney Spears, fattie (TheMeatScale)

Paris Hilton, popsicle (AgentBedhead)

Zac Efron, cutie (JustJared)

Jessica Biel, Martian (CelebritySmack)

Britney Spears, bikini-buff (DailyStab)

Ellen DeGeneris, serial dog regifter (Yeeeah)

Jake Gyllenhaal, toilet connoisseur (BricksAndStones)

Anderson Cooper, built (LARagMag)

Marie Osmond, unconscious (Defamer)

Kirstie Alley, cheater (CelebrityBabylon)

Jennifer Hudson, bridesmaid (GoFugYourself)

Bo Duke, hunk(HolyCandy)

Tyra Banks, fierce (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

Dumbledore, gay (Popwatch)

As people caught hoarding stacks of erotic fiction often say, don’t judge a book by its cover. But what about judging a book by its author?

Even though Rachel Zoe (with rose apodaca) may be the only one who can lead us down the path of Everything Glamour, is it really wise for us to run out and buy her book for $17, thereby filling the coffers of somebody who has no intention of spending the proceeds on items of nutritional value?

Manolo says, the Manolo, who spends part of each year living in the ‘Bu, watched with distress yesterday as the Malibu Canyon Fire crept perilously close to his summer place.

Happily for the Manolo, disaster was averted. Sadly, this was not the case for the owners of the Malibu’s famous Kashan Castle, which was burned to the ground by the fast moving fire. Disastrously, the castle was said to be in escrow, with the final walk through to be conducted this Wednesday.

Malibu Castle, which perished in today’s fire, was actually in Escrow and set to have the final walk-through on Wednesday.

The deal was expected to close this Friday, and while the final selling price can’t be confirmed, it had an asking price of $17 million.

This is especially bad news for celebrity realtor, Scotty Brown, one of the stars of Bravo TV’s reality show, Million Dollar Listing, who had the listing on this very expensive piece of property.

Described by selling agent Scotty Brown as a “real entertainer’s paradise for the truly unique”, The Castle in Malibu sits on its own private knoll, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. There are six bedrooms, eight bathrooms, garaging for eight cars and a pool.

The Manolo is especially sorry to hear this, as he once spent the very pleasant afternoon chatting amiably with Scotty, whom he found to be the perfect example of the hail-fellow-well-met.

P.S. More about the Castle Kashan from the Real Estalker Blog

Grace Jones, the scariest Bond Girl ever, performs at Kate Moss’ Topshop bash wearing sheer leggings, a maillot and coordination cape (as per usual) and a corset belt made from the hides of her enemies. Although she forgot the cardinal rule of “powdering down” when you’re going to be photographed full length (the camera flash bounces differently off skin that has foundation or powder)  and there is a soupçon of nip, we must be fair and give mad props to her stylists as you can barely see the bolts on her neck.

Unfortunately this is what happens when two highly photographable people have absolutely no desire to be photographed with each other.

Cheer up kids, years from now you’ll both be able to look back on this, laugh uncomfortably and then quickly change the subject.

Manolo says, once again, America’s dimmest rock star, Kid Rock, has had the brush with the law.

Police said Ritchie [Kid Rock] was finishing up a post-show meal at a Waffle House on Buford Highway about 5:15 a.m. Sunday when a customer recognized a woman in his entourage and began exchanging words with her.

Ritchie joined in the altercation, which soon escalated into a physical fight between the rocker and the man, Harlem DeJon Akins, 39.

Soon, five other men in his entourage — including the guitarist and the bass player in his band, Twisted Brown Trucker — jumped into the fray, and the fight spilled from inside the restaurant into the parking lot, said police spokeswoman Mekka Parish.

When the brawl ended, Ritchie and his group got into their tour bus and left the scene. An officer pulled the bus over at Buford Highway and Lenox Road, and all five men were booked into jail on the misdemeanor battery charge.

Few phrases in the English language are as indicative of the depressing condition of modern pop culture as the words “Kid Rock and his entourage at the Waffle House”.

Having firmly cemented Spider-Man 3 as one of the most expensive and convoluted movies ever made, Sam Raimi has decided that it’s time to take Spider-Man 4 to a different level:

Raimi has previously discussed incorporating villains such as the Lizard, the Vulture and the Sinister Six, however it is understood the producers may consider a fresh storyline that splits off in a radical new direction. “Hopefully, we’ll hear one that sounds right for the fourth instalment,” Raimi said, adding later that he will decide on whether or not to direct once the right story has been found.

Sounds like an opportunity to do something really off the wall! Like replace Tobey with KD Lang! Fix Kirsten’s teeth! Better still, bring back James Franco as a new character, hellbent on bringing down New York City’s hygiene standards.  This summer…imagine a world with no running water or bath products. Imagine a world…ruled by the Sweat Hobo.