Ayyyy!

Hurricane on Wisteria Lane! (WOWReport)

Simon le Bon wants to be Amy Winehouse’s daddy (WendyWayrad)

Best nekkids of 2007 (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Tila Tequila might not be completely, 100% straightforward (ASocialitesLife)

RIP Evel Knievel (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Lance Armstrong dumps the Olsen twin (Mollygood)

R. Kelly fired by publicist for “going there” (HipHopElements)

Christian Slater luvs the drugs, including botox (PerezHilton)

Chris Brown is a disposable undies fan (JustJared)

Victoria Beckham gets nekkid (HollywoodRag)

Jennifer Aniston, serial rhinoplasterer? (Cityrag)

Suri Cruise will be rocking the Louboutins, must read TeenyManolo (ImNotObsessed)

Lindsay Lohan is single again (CeleBitchy)

Do Britney’s job better than she can (HolyCandy)

Truly absurd: the White House mugshots furor (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Spice Girls spotted spawn! (CelebrityNation)

Free Southpark! (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity puberty pix: 1998 (CelebritySmack)

Hollywood’s 50 dumbest people (GabbyBabble)

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty reuniting over current boytoy’s dead body (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Rootin’ Tootin’ Wayne Newton! (Defamer)

Good quality reality show memorabilia is certainly hard to come by – I mean how many cheap knockoffs of Tyra Banks’ weave have you come across in the shops. But if you are not the least bit freaked out by porcelain dolls that somehow manage to move positions during the night, then by all means knock yourself out with these fine offerings from Dancing With the Stars finalist Marie Osmond:

The 48-year-old singer has now added a line of dolls to her existing QVC collection based on the outfits she wore during the competition, including the frilly pink babydoll number she donned for her controversial freestyle routine.

Fans can choose from Osmond’s aforementioned freestyle getup, the WWII-era military-inspired costume she wore when she dedicated her “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy” jive to her parents, the Spanish senorita outfit she wore for the paso doble and, of course, the short ruffled turquoise number she samba’d—and subsequently passed out—in.

Now all she needs to corner the market is to come out with life-sized versions for that other type of doll collector.

“Um Ma’am, I’m going to need you to hold your award just a bit lower, so we can get a shot of that famously magnificent bosom of yours.”

“Who me?”

Manolo says, here is the cheery bit of news.

Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne have agreed on a suicide pact – so they can both die at the same time.

Rock matriarch Sharon, who is also Ozzy’s manager, has revealed she and her husband agree they cannot live without each other, and so they’ve chosen to go to the grave together.

She explains: “Whatever it was, where you know you’re going to die, we would want to choose the time where we want to leave.

“I would go with my old man, and he would come with me… (Fortunately) my husband is better than ever, health-wise.”

But the macabre suicide pact doesn’t kick in until 2012, with busy Sharon adding she can’t contemplate taking her life “in the next five years”.

Tease!

Now if only we can convince Jack and Kelly about the importance of family togetherness.

P.S. From our friends at Celebitchy

I am not one to steal lines, especially not from people who a) read what I have to write and b) are technically the boss of me and could with one fell swoop seriously limit my ability to finance the glamorous life of name brand soda and snacking cakes I so deeply enjoy. That being said, desperate t’s call for desperate whatnots and in that spirit I would like to say AYYYY Nelly Furtado!

I fear she has gotten into to hands of her enemies and her ill-wishers have performed upon her person a horrible, horrible cruelty, either that or she has not yet learned that using makeup found in truck stop parking lots is rarely a good idea. The blonde is abysmal, and her dress looks like a venetian blind and dear God WHAT is that thing trapped between the two ribbons on the right side of her dress? Is it a tumor? Is it an extra breast that would, incidentally, make her actually interesting to me for about 20 brief but glorious seconds? Is it an alien baby that will burst out of her chest cavity and possibly draw attention away from that garish smear of syphilitic hooker lipstick?

More importantly, when the alien baby comes out, do I still get to slap the mother?

Danny Bonaduce’s penis needs a PR (Radar)

The personal journals of Angelina Jolie (Dissfunktional)

Julia Roberts, handicapped parking-stealer, paparazzi-attacker (WendyWayrad)

Gene Simmons rocks the dragonskin platform boots (TheMeatScale)

Katie Holmes loses the Posh at the Bambi Awards and no, I’m not making this up (PerezHilton)

Cyndi Lauper goes under the needle (Mollygood)

Prince William still has his girlfriend, most of his hair (JustJared)

Hollywood’s top 10 shocking secrets (CelebSlam)

Posh’s implants bow to gravity, but not much (Egotastic)

Jennifer Love Whoitt engaged (USmagazine)

Gwyneth Paltrow wears Uggs, hangs head in shame (Jezebel)

Jerry Seinfeld’s family troubles (Chicago Sun-Times)

Did Reese and Jake join the Mile High Club? (ShowbizSpy)

Johnny Depp, manorexic, but still purty (ImNotObsessed)

The Curse of Monica Lewinsky (fortunately not a menstruation story) (HolyCandy)

Lilo drinking again, yo (DerekHail)

Ads that work… on Winehouse and Doherty at least (AgentBedhead)

Shocker of the day: KFed wants more money! (EvilBeet)

John Travolta? No way!!! (LARagMag)

Angelina Jolie is coming soon to a barstool near you! (CelebritySmack)

Britney spends time with her kids, ignores them (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Ladies, the pickings might be slim after a certain point in the night, but this is definitely NOT an instance where you want to end up with the less attractive friend.

Fake Posh … but I repeat myself (AgentBedhead)

Carson Daly is a scary scab (Mollygood)

Steve Carell, master of suave (SplashNewsOnline)

Hayden Panettiere starts a Used Panty club (Defamer)

The Fabio/George Clooney peace talks (Radar)

Kirsten Dunst is Kelly Slater’s latest rent-a-blonde (Dlisted)

Mary-Kate Olsen does the fetal homeless girl look (DrunkenStepfather)

Britney is late, not pregnant (Popsugar)

Britney has a messy house with a not-so-secret sex room (HolyCandy)

Jake Gyllenhaall will play legendary sex symbol Joe Namath (but is there a nude Cosmo spread in the contract? That’s what WE want to know!) (ASocialitesLife)

Becks blogs (PerezHilton)

in rehab news: the Wino Watch begins… (TheMeatScale)

Kelly Osborne grows up, cleans up real good (GoFugYourself)

Johnny Depp gives Vanessa Paradis a punny present (ImNotObsessed)

Thank GOD Paris Hilton prefers pantyhose to stockings (CelebritySmack)