Kate Moss…Ayyyy!
By Manolo the Shoeblogger
SPIRIT FINGERS: How do we know that’s Kate Moss at a YSL photo shoot and not some random dowdily-dressed streetwalker who’s about to be frisked?
PLUMCAKE: I’m not entirely sure those are mutually exclusive.
MANOLO: Frisking Kate Moss? That would be like handling the leather bag full of broken chicken bones.
SPIRIT FINGERS: I think this pose is supposed to be “sexy and glamourous” in the same way that Pete Doherty is supposed to be “clean and sober”.
MANOLO: Pete Doherty and Kate Moss: the pair voted “Most Likely to Give Codependency The Bad Name”.
PLUMCAKE: It’s amazing what people can do with photoshop these days. I can’t even see the rolled-up dollar bill or the teensy platinum razor blade.
MANOLO: It is not the photoshop. The dress is two sizes too big. The shoot was originally scheduled for that “fatass”, Lily Cole, and there was no time to do adjustments.
SPIRIT FINGERS: How I wish I could be paid millions of dollars to work my non-existent ass for the camera. *sigh* Where did it all go wrong?
PLUMCAKE: Have you considered stealing a hairstyle from a slightly slutty anthropomorphized cartoon dog? Apparently it’s the first step to stardom.
MANOLO: “The thing’s hollow — it goes on forever — and — oh my God! — it’s full of stars!”
SPIRIT FINGERS: This look only works if you’ve got a pointy hat, long beard and a working knowledge of spellcasting.
PLUMCAKE: also: water-toting brooms.
SPIRIT FINGERS: The fabric is clinging to all the wrong places. Is that a diaper underneath? Man, even the photo shoots on America’s Next Top Model have toilet breaks. I think.
MANOLO: Stars? Diapers? Perhaps she is on her way to Cape Canaveral to kidnap her astronaut lover’s rival.
SPIRIT FINGERS: With her obscured vision, she’s going to have to rely even more on her other senses. And we all know what her nose is only good for detecting.
MANOLO: Disastrous boyfriends? Naomi Campbell’s wrath?
KATE MOSS: Oh Manolo don’t play coy with me. I’ve seen what’s inside those fabulous shoes of yours once you unscrew the heels.
November 9th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
I saw a recent photo of Golde Hawn with the same hairstyle - what’s with this? No one has a face anymore?
November 9th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
“The thing’s hollow — it goes on forever — and — oh my God! — it’s full of stars!”
Thank you for my first belly laugh of the day!
November 9th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
She looks like she’s been rode hard and put up wet a few times too many.
November 9th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
A bad imitation of Debbie Harry circa 1980.
November 9th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
Actually, it’s probably full of STDs and stimulants.
November 11th, 2007 at 2:08 am
Oh dear. It’s a combination. I can definately see the Deborah Harry… but look at the blocks as well as the overall look of Harry-ness. To start, dress IS too big. Add bad crop of pic at bottom, plus wierd fold of cloth causing double or sag butt… I know this is hard to take in, but altogether these things make her legs look stumpy! I know, it can’t be true, but she looks like she is all trunk, no legs. On the second pic, yes, I see the diaper, but worse, I See Dead Hair! I see split ends EVERYWHERE. Probably from the awful, over-blonde, over-done dye job. This is just a ghastly pic of the usually lovely Kate Moss.