Steven Seagal, putting Kalmykia on the map
By Spirit FingersWhen you’re a tiny, lesser-known Russian republic that can’t afford Jet Li and Jean Claude Van Damme doesn’t have an opening in his schedule until mid-March, then you just have to suck it up and put in a call to “Action Lama” Steven Seagal:
Steven Seagal sampled sheep soup and prayed at a Buddhist shrine during a visit to a poor region in southern Russia on Tuesday.
The action movie star of such films as Under Siege and Exit Wounds accepted an invitation to visit Kalmykia from its quixotic president, Kirsan Ilyumzhinov.
During the trip, Seagal was obliged to play some chess - Ilyumzhinov’s favourite game.
The millionaire Ilyumzhinov has made a name for himself heading chess’ world governing body, suppressing local political opposition and claiming that he has communicated with aliens.
For his troubles, Seagal was awarded an honorary citizenship but I’m not sure how often he’ll be back to make enough use of his visa-free travel. But then again this Ilyumzhinov guy sounds like a fascinating character who warrants further study, quite easily the quintessential villain in a Steven Seagal movie. Throw in a couple of scenes in those fancy robes flailing that wooden plaque about woodenly and he’ll have a perfectly serviceable straight-to-DVD movie called Marked Pawn. Or Under Siege 3: Somewhere near the Caspian. Or even Nomad’s Land.
November 27th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Not that I am saying that this is what happened here, but suddenly I am getting the image of a bunch of bored Russians getting together and inventing a “country”, complete with psycho leader (played by friend Sasha, who is big in local community theater) for the express purpose of getting delusional former celebrities to dress up in funny costumes. Again, clearly not the case here; I’m just saying that if MC Hammer turns up in a duck suit in Lesser Bulimia, we should maybe start getting suspicious.
November 27th, 2007 at 8:28 pm
And if that Steven Seagal movie was on free cable (it should without question be entitled “Under Siege: Caspian Checkmate”), not only would I watch it with pleasure, but maybe more than once. I still haven’t gotten over the sheer camp fabulous of Seagal’s 1994 “On Deadly Ground” about evil oil corporations in the Arctic co-starring Michael Caine, Joan Chen and Billy Bob Thornton (top that, Wes Anderson!)