Fake Celebs, real photo-ops (AgentBedhead)

Britney Spears runs over a COP! (CelebritySmack)

Paris Hilton’s porn shop rampage: the VIDEO! (I’mNotObsessed)

Brain safety not Owen Wilson’s #1 concern (PopSugar)

Lindsay on the rocks again? (NinjaDude)

Johnny Depp speaks out about daughter’s hospitalization (CeleBitchy)

Star Jones swipes charity’s cash? (HolyCandy)

Rachel Ray boots BoyToy Husband (Popbytes)

Vanessa Hudgens signs up for High School Musical III (PerezHilton)

Britney’s back, bytches! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Amy Winehouse’s zombie man (TheMeatScale)

Zac Efron’s low riders…are those Calvins? (JustJared)

LiLo=FishLips (HollywoodRag)

Oprah employee arrested on child abuse charge (US)

Owen Wilson’s overshare potty policy (NYP)

Jane Seymour’s plastic surgery confession (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Britney’s Halloween costume explained (Idolator)

Whose dick is in that box??? (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Wino is true to form at the MTV Europe Awards (Mollygood)

Jennifer Hudson knows you want her (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

Drew Carey deals out the truth about medical marijuana (EvilBeet)

Who is it that’s reduced A-listers Julia Roberts and Jodie Foster to a pair of giggling fangirls who can’t wait to get home and breathlessly share their experience on whatever social networking site is in vogue nowadays?

(more…)

The return of the X-Files (Variety)

The most psychotic pie chart ever created (Gawker)

The Britney Spears comeback roundup (Defamer)

Alan Cumming, the gay Martha Stewart (AgentBedhead)

Reese and Jake: beauty and the beast (HolyCandy)

Craig, Daniel Craig signs on for another Bond (EvilBeet)

Gwen Stefani, Kingston, and Gavin Rossdale trick or treat (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Don Vito, done (BricksAndStones)

is Ellen DeGeneris JLo or Maude? (DailyStab)

RuPaul makes a hotter Maude, though (DListed)

Stephen Colbert, America’s Hope, Democratic Candidate (CeleBitchy)

Queen Latifah on her breast reduction (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Ire d’ivoire: the mammoth ivory war! (CounterfeitChic)

Hillary will not Vogue! Don’t ask her (Jezebel)

Roberto Cavalli collection: when animals attack (hookers)! (NYT)

Big Brother South African scandal (TheFirstPost)

Lance Bass, married man! (CelebritySmack)

Jonathan Rhys Meyers (who I believed for a long time to have played Gimli in Lord of the Rings) is putting his new facial hair to good use by signing on to play Mandrake the Magician:

“This is a rare opportunity to reinvent one of the all-time classic comic book characters and create a new kind of hero for international audiences,” Russell said….

In the comics Mandrake was an illusionist whose work was based on an impossibly fast hypnotic technique. As the narrator informed us: “Mandrake gestured hypnotically” and the subject or subjects of this hypnosis would suddenly see the illusions he wanted. Mandrake fought criminals and other villains in his spare time. This would include common gangsters, mad scientists, and aliens from outer space or other dimensions.

I have to say, I can’t think of a better person to play this role. The guy could probably project his chemically-induced hallucinations onto any living being if they stared long enough into his eyes.

“I am so so so so glad the worst day of the year is finally over”.

“Tell me about it. I won’t be able to sit down for a week.”

Yes, even most skilful of photoshop effects cannot conceal Jude’s smarminess, and Jennifer Aniston’s pic was barely retouched. The rest were a bit more difficult, but a fine effort on your part in getting most of them right. Now that order is restored, we shall return to distorting celebrity facts instead.

Okay, Heide Klum is PROBABLY dressed as a cat and she’s definitely posing, but c’mon, who could resist that headline?