Ayyyy!

Britney Spears IS: the Bionic Woman! (AgentBedhead)

How drunk do you have to be to get arrested for drunkenness in Dublin? Jonathan Rhys Myers knows! (CelebritySmack)

Guess the celebrity whale tail (LiquidGeneration)

Heidi Klum forgot her pants, whale tail (GoFugYourself)

The UN takes on Amy Winehouse, will sendiCanadian peacekeepers to Notting Hill (Mollygood)

Kanye breaks down onstage (StereoHyped)

Alicia Keys is a ninja at the AMA’s (TheMeatScale)

Putting the “whatever” in Model/Actress/Whatever (CrabbiesHollywood)

Jessica Alba is not a morning person (DailyStab)

RIP Mister Whipple! (DListed)

The Hoff takes a bite out of Pamela Anderson (WebstersIsMyBiotch)

Julia Roberts shows off her new baby (PerezHilton)

Julia Roberts steals Handicapped parking spaces (Scandelerious)

13-year-old Amy Winehouse on her hopes for the future (WendyWayrad)

The Redemption of Omarosa (Defamer)

Kim Kardashian vs Beyonce: duelling junk (D*anasDirt)

Naomi Campbell: what an ass (Bossip)

Kristen Bell and her boxer (ImNotObsessed)

Give Thanks: KFed gets the kids for Thanksgiving (EvilBeet)

Owen Wilson, beach boy (Celebslam)

Simon Cowell is a Botox bohunk (US)

Vince Vaughn could cornrow his nosehairs (JustJared)

One is a young promoter of saving wildlife, the other is a rapidly aging promoter of living a wasteful and wild life.

From the moment Tom Cruise confessed to Reader’s Digest magazine that women “smell good. They look pretty. I love women. I do.” we all kind of knew that the day was coming. And yet I didn’t expect it so soon and I feel so unprepared for the toothy, intense storm of womanising that may be about to occur:

TOM Cruise is set to play Hugh Hefner in a new biopic of the Playboy founder’s life, and hopes that it will confound all those who doubt his acting ability.

The 45-year-old actor, who has an 18-month-old daughter Suri with his actress wife Katie Holmes, is hot favourite to portray the 81-year-old lothario in upcoming movie Playboy and is reportedly excited about the prospect of bringing Hefner’s “colourful life” to the big screen.

A source close to the actor said: “Tom knows of Hugh’s colourful past and thinks he would be the perfect person to bring it to the big screen.

“He also thinks the role would be a challenge for him, and would remind people of his versatility as an actor. At the moment people are concentrating on his personal life, and his marriage to Katie - but he wants to remind them that he can act too.”

I don’t know how he plans to pull this off, but he’s going to need more than just a smoking jacket and seven blonde girlfriends by his side. Because as I see it, the guy currently looks way more Halston rather than Hefner.

Manolo says, and yet, one has to admire her single-minded devotion to “fashion”.

Victoria’s Secret presents: the most ineffectual chastity belt known to womankind. For those who are born again virgins every Saturday night.

In the Western District of Hong Kong, the two most popular gang colours are shiny red and spiky yellow.

“Didn’t I say we would run out of time to finish my dress if we hand-sewed all the sequins ourselves?” *sulk*

“It’ll be fine Posh, people will just think you had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction - they happen aaallll the time.”

“Oh yeah, right. My dress split down the side because I’m the fat one.” *eyeroll*

“At least she’s got an almost-dress. I don’t even have an almost-pant suit.”

“Look Sporty I did the best I could under the circumstances. If I wasn’t wearing my push-up bra that waiter would never given up his jacket.”  

Chelsy Davy comes to her senses; Prince Harry now off the market again (HolyMoly)

Tom Cruise, skanky old perv? (AgentBedhead)

Boy George vs Ginger Spice, bet on the chick to win (GabbyBabble)

Natalie Portman busts a move (IDontLikeYouInThatWay)

Zac Efron gets posies from photogs (JustJared)

Viggo Alan Poe: quoth the raven, Stallone is directing??? WTF? (TunaFlix)

Mary Kate Olsen shows off her troll hooker style (TheMeatScale)

13 going on 40: the latest Lohan (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse fired by tour manager (CrabbiesHollywood)

George Clooney is ready to ride (TMZ)

David Copperfield’s island, reputation sinking (StupidCelebritiesGossip)

A Paltrow grows in Brooklyn (but still looks Protestant) (Mollygood)

Chloe Sevigny for Chloe (DailyStab)

Lohan on the loose! Lock up your sons! (D*anasDirt)

Hard time for Lindsay (WebstersIsMyBiotch)

A surgeon’s thoughts on the Donda West case  (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Hawt Rainn Wilson and hot Dr. Pepper (Defamer)

Spice Fug (GoFugYourself)

Britney can’t drive with the Federspawn (PerezHilton)

It seems that Robert Downey Jr has discovered the internet, and so far he doesn’t like what he has seen:

ROBERT DOWNEY Jr has hit out at claims he’s not macho enough to play comic book hero Iron Man. The Oscar-winning star is upset at comments that some fans have posted on websites, particularly one that compared him to Gwyneth Paltrow.

“The teaser trailer has gone down really well,” said the actor. “But there’s always someone who has to have a dig.

“One comment I saw said, ‘Downey looks like he’s wearing more makeup than Gwyneth Paltrow.’ The truth is I did nothing more than get a tan on a sun bed. There was no makeup.”

Rest assured Robert, many of us will be making it a personal priority to diligently evaluate Tony Stark’s muscle tone and other physical attributes of masculinity when Iron Man hits the big screen in May 2008.  The more tight fitting shirts there are, the more that helps in this painstaking task.

In the meantime you might want to avoid using the same hair colourist as Gwyneth and stop hogging the big girl swing.

MANOLO: Make-a-Wish? Is it too late to hope for the return of the hoop skirt?

PLUMCAKE: She probably just thought she was granting some sick kid’s pervy dying request. Just a tip for next time Shaz, very few cancer kiddies send in notes on prison stationery.

SPIRIT FINGERS: Ta-da! Just in case you didn’t see it the first time round, back in 1992! It’s important to roll it out for each new generation you know.

PLUMCAKE: Plus it’s totally au courant. Everyone knows labia is the new black.

(more…)

We’ve been at it for several minutes now and he’s creeping me out big time.  Who keeps their eyes open when making out?!?! And can we get a little saliva action in there please? It’s like rubbing my lips against sandpaper.

Can’t…breathe…must…decide! Death or Travolta’s tongue?  Death or Travolta’s tongue? Death or Travolta’s tongue?

Natalie Portman hearts teh gheys (EvilBeet)

The Strike Network new productions (Dr Boli’s)

Top 10 Reasons Letterman supports the strikers (AgentBedhead)

The Many Faces of Boy George (CelebritySmack)

Hayden Panettiere is wanted…by the police! (CeleBitchy)

Heather Mills is hiring bloggers (does Scoble know?) (GabbyBabble)

Daniel Radcliffe and Kim Cattrall? In somebody’s dreams (NOWmagazine)

Christina Aguilera, female impersonator? (HollywoodBackwash)

Brad Pitt is a jealous boyfriend (TheBlemish)

Did Angelina have a miscarriage? (Popbytes)

Amy Winehouse’s on-stage breakdown (PopOnThePop)

Chaka Khan…. Let me rock you all the way to the homeless shelter (TheMeatScale)

Ho, Ho, Ho! : so that’s what “Reindeer Games” are, eh? (Webster’s)

Sarah Michelle WHO? (DailyStab)

Jennifer Aniston dates SATC himbo (FListed)

Is John Travolta borrowing Phil Spector’s wigs? (DListed)

Tom Cruise busts a move, scares the horses (CityRag)