Archive - December, 2007

Happy New Links!

Mr. Bean’s fly wheels (AgentBedhead)

Jude Law sees the ghost of Frank Sinatra (Mollygood)

Jamie-Lynn Spears is single, pregnant, and unemployed (TheBlemish)

Miley Cyrus sleepover shocker! (Defamer)

Best Celebrity photos of 2007 (People)

Christina Aguilera’s the biggest bump in the borough (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Stick a fork in her! She’s done! (CelebritySmack)

Amy Winehouse leaves Blake for Barbados (BackseatCuddler)

Amy Winehouse at Basil’s Bar with Prince William? (PerezHilton)

JK Rowling may write another Harry Potter book (DailyStab)

Is Lindsay Lohan the worst? (Dlisted)

Is Sienna Miller engaged to a guy too cheap to buy a ring? (EvilBeet)

Eva Longoria shows off her perogies for Elle Ukraine (GabbyBabble)

Lindsay Lohan rides the Italian stallions (HolyCandy)

Jennifer Lopez says she’ll have a silent birth, Tom Cruise nods, smiles, midwives everywhere laugh (AllieIsWired)

Heidi Montag gets some more plastic (ImNotObsessed)

Keira Knightly is the number one beauty icon (ICYDK)

Constatine’s still got it, is using it as a bingo caller (Yeeeeah)

Let’s Be Careful Out There

It’s New Year’s Eve tonight. Those of us who are professional drinkers know it as Amateur’s Night which means there are going to be a lot of drunks everywhere, especially on the road. Most cities have “safe ride” programs that offer free cab rides or bus fare so you can get home safely even if your designated driver designated herself as a human beer bong.

We wish all our readers and those they care about a safe and happy New Year’s Eve and prosperous 2008.

Don’t drink and drive, you might kill someone cooler than me

Desperate times call for this

How can I get Britney pregnant?

Q: What to do when the sizeable inheritance you were counting on has been drastically reduced to a pittance that won’t even cover the cost of Tinkerbell’s aromatherapy treatments?

A: Find a way to sponge off Britney as quickly as possible. 

I've been in more uncomfortable positions

Penelope Cruz and the case of the gifted glasses

On its own, this snippet of information doesn’t offer much gossip fodder:

WOODY ALLEN gifted Spanish star PENELOPE CRUZ with a pair of his own spectacles after wrapping their new film VICKY CHRISTINA BARCELONA. Cruz confessed she liked the look of the movie director’s classic glasses while they were shooting.

But put it in context with Penelope’s choice of facial accessories in her recent lesbian makeout session (use family wherever possible – it’s a great way to keep costs down!), and we suddenly understand the motivation behind Woody’s generosity (sourcing free props also saves on expenses!).  Nothing relieves a desirous old man of his visual aid faster than telling him you’d like to have a threeway with his glasses and your lookalike sister. 

Faux lesbians always make passes at girls wearing glasses

To the victor goes the spoils

Back off, Cavalli. This one's mine.

The Italian fashion turf wars continue and with the news of Fergie’s engagement, Armani is once again quick to stake his claim:

Woohoo, another one in the bag! They might not be as famous as TomKat (what is their couple nickname anyway?!?) but I can certainly rustle up something suitably chic for the wedding. I still have all those designs and yards of tulle that Tom rejected. And it’s only a matter of time until her lovely baby bump shall be mine, all mine! Hah! You could say I have it all SEWN up!

PS: Where can I get Jessica Alba’s number?

Queen Elizabeth II, not amused

There will be no panties next time I exit my carriage

This is the look one makes after uploading half a century’s worth of one’s rich family heritage onto Youtube only to discover that people would rather watch some cat playing the piano.

From the mouths of celebrities

David Schwimmer on long-term relationships:

“My mother asks me every other week, ‘Have you found a nice girlfriend?’ Now I have started to ask myself the same question. “I could have a wife and family by now. I haven’t even come close to engagement. I am struggling to make a commitment.”

And that lack of commitment also seems to extend to other areas, the areas which benefit most from a basic grooming and hygiene routine.

Tempted to stray..from trashcan to trashcan

Mischa Barton, arrested for her lesser crimes

Tired of feeling like not quite part of the famously notorious coterie of Troubled Twentysomethings, Mischa finally decided to get herself arrested and see what the fuss what was all about:

Part of the cool kids club The former “O.C.” star was arrested in West Hollywood Thursday morning on charges of drunken driving and marijuana possession.

Barton, 21, was pulled over at 2:46 a.m. by police who saw her weaving between two lanes of traffic on La Cienega Blvd. after they spotted her failing to signal when turning, a spokesman for the L.A. County sheriff’s department said.

She posted $10,000 bail and was released to her mother, who picked her up in the family’s black Mercedes. An unusually disheveled Barton covered her face with a scarf to hide from photographers as she rushed to the car; once inside, she slid down in the back seat.

Once again I am confounded by the criminal justice system.  This is very much like when that murderous pimping bootlegging extortionist Al Capone was arrested, and eventually indicted, for such a bland offence as income tax evasion.  Is it really so hard to bring up someone on fashion crimes against humanity nowadays that the cops have to resort to picking on their driving and narcotic habits? 

A number of celebrities started out with teenage alcohol abuse, then became full blown drug addicts as they got older.

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