Ayyyy!

Mr. Bean’s fly wheels (AgentBedhead)

Jude Law sees the ghost of Frank Sinatra (Mollygood)

Jamie-Lynn Spears is single, pregnant, and unemployed (TheBlemish)

Miley Cyrus sleepover shocker! (Defamer)

Best Celebrity photos of 2007 (People)

Christina Aguilera’s the biggest bump in the borough (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Stick a fork in her! She’s done! (CelebritySmack)

Amy Winehouse leaves Blake for Barbados (BackseatCuddler)

Amy Winehouse at Basil’s Bar with Prince William? (PerezHilton)

JK Rowling may write another Harry Potter book (DailyStab)

Is Lindsay Lohan the worst? (Dlisted)

Is Sienna Miller engaged to a guy too cheap to buy a ring? (EvilBeet)

Eva Longoria shows off her perogies for Elle Ukraine (GabbyBabble)

Lindsay Lohan rides the Italian stallions (HolyCandy)

Jennifer Lopez says she’ll have a silent birth, Tom Cruise nods, smiles, midwives everywhere laugh (AllieIsWired)

Heidi Montag gets some more plastic (ImNotObsessed)

Keira Knightly is the number one beauty icon (ICYDK)

Constatine’s still got it, is using it as a bingo caller (Yeeeeah)

It’s New Year’s Eve tonight. Those of us who are professional drinkers know it as Amateur’s Night which means there are going to be a lot of drunks everywhere, especially on the road. Most cities have “safe ride” programs that offer free cab rides or bus fare so you can get home safely even if your designated driver designated herself as a human beer bong.

We wish all our readers and those they care about a safe and happy New Year’s Eve and prosperous 2008.

Q: What to do when the sizeable inheritance you were counting on has been drastically reduced to a pittance that won’t even cover the cost of Tinkerbell’s aromatherapy treatments?

A: Find a way to sponge off Britney as quickly as possible. 

On its own, this snippet of information doesn’t offer much gossip fodder:

WOODY ALLEN gifted Spanish star PENELOPE CRUZ with a pair of his own spectacles after wrapping their new film VICKY CHRISTINA BARCELONA. Cruz confessed she liked the look of the movie director’s classic glasses while they were shooting.

But put it in context with Penelope’s choice of facial accessories in her recent lesbian makeout session (use family wherever possible – it’s a great way to keep costs down!), and we suddenly understand the motivation behind Woody’s generosity (sourcing free props also saves on expenses!).  Nothing relieves a desirous old man of his visual aid faster than telling him you’d like to have a threeway with his glasses and your lookalike sister. 

The Italian fashion turf wars continue and with the news of Fergie’s engagement, Armani is once again quick to stake his claim:

Woohoo, another one in the bag! They might not be as famous as TomKat (what is their couple nickname anyway?!?) but I can certainly rustle up something suitably chic for the wedding. I still have all those designs and yards of tulle that Tom rejected. And it’s only a matter of time until her lovely baby bump shall be mine, all mine! Hah! You could say I have it all SEWN up!

PS: Where can I get Jessica Alba’s number?

This is the look one makes after uploading half a century’s worth of one’s rich family heritage onto Youtube only to discover that people would rather watch some cat playing the piano.

David Schwimmer on long-term relationships:

“My mother asks me every other week, ‘Have you found a nice girlfriend?’ Now I have started to ask myself the same question. “I could have a wife and family by now. I haven’t even come close to engagement. I am struggling to make a commitment.”

And that lack of commitment also seems to extend to other areas, the areas which benefit most from a basic grooming and hygiene routine.

Tired of feeling like not quite part of the famously notorious coterie of Troubled Twentysomethings, Mischa finally decided to get herself arrested and see what the fuss what was all about:

The former “O.C.” star was arrested in West Hollywood Thursday morning on charges of drunken driving and marijuana possession.

Barton, 21, was pulled over at 2:46 a.m. by police who saw her weaving between two lanes of traffic on La Cienega Blvd. after they spotted her failing to signal when turning, a spokesman for the L.A. County sheriff’s department said.

She posted $10,000 bail and was released to her mother, who picked her up in the family’s black Mercedes. An unusually disheveled Barton covered her face with a scarf to hide from photographers as she rushed to the car; once inside, she slid down in the back seat.

Once again I am confounded by the criminal justice system.  This is very much like when that murderous pimping bootlegging extortionist Al Capone was arrested, and eventually indicted, for such a bland offence as income tax evasion.  Is it really so hard to bring up someone on fashion crimes against humanity nowadays that the cops have to resort to picking on their driving and narcotic habits? 

Brendan Fraser is on the market again, ladies! (Defamer)

Misha Barton stars in “The DUI” (TMZ)

Casey Affleck discovers “Casey Affleck” is not a name worth dropping (AgentBedhead)

Britney’s latest FB is married (CelebWarship)

The Lohan Sisterhood of the Travelling Pantslessness (CelebritySmack)

Sinead O’Connor and the Pogues live in Dublin (GabbyBabble)

Britney Spears stole her kids’s Christmas presents (TheBlemish)

Angelina and Brad feed the kids McFood for Christmas Dinner (DailyStab)

The most annoying celebrity of 2007 (PopCrunch)

Lindsay Lohan betrayed by convict; convict who takes Terry Richards photographs (Derober)

Angelina’s plastic sturgeon secret (MakeHerUp)

Amy Winehouse to enjoy Norwegian interlude of, say, 8-12 months (Dlisted)

Sean Connery: a man called “Sue” (Huffpo)

Shadenfreude Special: the Hilton sisters lose out on $4 billion (IDLYITW)

John Cusack refuses to crush ignoramus interviewer (Popoholic)

Jessica Alba is engaged, still pissy (Popsugar)

Titmuss retires her tits (Sun)

Smells like… Justin Timberlake? (JustJared)

The latest Jennifer Aniston’s Uterus rumor (HolyCandy)

MK Olson apparently cannot afford shoes (ImNotObsessed)

In a slightly less touching nativity scene (although one that is, in all honesty, just as likely to come to fruition surrounded by barny/ard animals) the UK-based Digital Spy website is reporting that Casey Aldridge, the until-recently-less-defiled Spears’ boyfriend may not be the father:

“But it has been alleged that the 19-year-old is being paid to act as a cover-up for the real father, who could face charges because he is an older man.

US magazine Star suggested that Jamie Lynn and Aldridge have an on-off relationship and that the real dad could work on Spears’ US television show Zoey 101.”

In other news, there is no word on when Lynn Spears’ parenting book will be hitting shelves.

“Oh this is fabulous, would you look at that? Martha, you’re an absolute treasure! Thanks so much for showing me how to turn my leftover skin into such tastefully exquisite hors d’oeuvres!”

The lights have been put up, the presents are all wrapped and safely ensconced under the Christmas tree, the eggnog has just the right amount of nutmeg and froth and the roast is enjoying some rest & relaxation before the big carveup. So now is the time to open the hidden panel at the back of your closet and bring out that special outfit you have been saving all year – the one with that unmistakably festive look – and let the merrymaking begin in earnest!

And from us at Ayyyy, good tidings and hearty wishes to you and your kin, wherever you are!