Julianne Moore…Ayyyy! » Ayyyy!







Julianne Moore…Ayyyy!

By Manolo the Shoeblogger

MANOLO: This is not so much clothing as catafalque drapery, in technical terms, the “pall“.

SPIRIT FINGERS: But the platform sandals liven up the mood, yes? Let your shoes do all the clunking instead of the coffin!

PLUMCAKE: But how cool would it be if the top two deathruffles were convertible? Wear them ’round the shoulders and they’re stylishly appropriate widow weeds, but snap them around the waist and you’ve got a kicky post-wake cocktail number!

MANOLO: The Manolo keeps wondering, how much does that little purse weigh? What does she have in there, gold bullion?

SPIRIT FINGERS: You know she could be the first Igor to have filmed a porn scene with Mark Wahlberg.

PLUMCAKE: and probably the last, too. Damn you writers strike! Are you to leave us with NOTHING?!

SPIRIT FINGERS: It’s a bit late to be trotting out the prosthetic hump though. Where was it back in 2003 when she battling Nicole’s prosthetic nose for the Best Actress Oscar?

PLUMCAKE: Oh Spirit Fingers, If you didn’t see her prosthetic hump, I’m pretty sure you didn’t watch Boogie Nights closely enough.

SPIRIT FINGERS: Good of Julianne’s husband to do the supportive thing and prop up his one-legged wife.

MANOLO: You often see them together, hopping down the red carpet.

SPIRIT FINGERS: I also like how he has cleverly converted Bob Dylan’s hair into a faux mullet of his own. It’s like Julianne married an arthouse version of Dog the Bounty Hunter.

PLUMCAKE: Oh no, that’s not Bob Dylan’s hair. I can’t believe you didn’t hear about the slapfight he had with Ken Paves right before the show!








One Response to “Julianne Moore…Ayyyy!”




  1. Linda F Says:

    The comment about propping up his one-legged wife, the gold bullion and the mullet HURT me, I laughed so hard. Whole office is popping up like gophers at my hee haws……Fabulous writing all — and so imaginative!




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