Julianne Moore…Ayyyy! » Ayyyy!





Julianne Moore…Ayyyy!

By Manolo the Shoeblogger

MANOLO: This is not so much clothing as catafalque drapery, in technical terms, the “pall“.

SPIRIT FINGERS: But the platform sandals liven up the mood, yes? Let your shoes do all the clunking instead of the coffin!

PLUMCAKE: But how cool would it be if the top two deathruffles were convertible? Wear them ’round the shoulders and they’re stylishly appropriate widow weeds, but snap them around the waist and you’ve got a kicky post-wake cocktail number!

MANOLO: The Manolo keeps wondering, how much does that little purse weigh? What does she have in there, gold bullion?

SPIRIT FINGERS: You know she could be the first Igor to have filmed a porn scene with Mark Wahlberg.

PLUMCAKE: and probably the last, too. Damn you writers strike! Are you to leave us with NOTHING?!

SPIRIT FINGERS: It’s a bit late to be trotting out the prosthetic hump though. Where was it back in 2003 when she battling Nicole’s prosthetic nose for the Best Actress Oscar?

PLUMCAKE: Oh Spirit Fingers, If you didn’t see her prosthetic hump, I’m pretty sure you didn’t watch Boogie Nights closely enough.

SPIRIT FINGERS: Good of Julianne’s husband to do the supportive thing and prop up his one-legged wife.

MANOLO: You often see them together, hopping down the red carpet.

SPIRIT FINGERS: I also like how he has cleverly converted Bob Dylan’s hair into a faux mullet of his own. It’s like Julianne married an arthouse version of Dog the Bounty Hunter.

PLUMCAKE: Oh no, that’s not Bob Dylan’s hair. I can’t believe you didn’t hear about the slapfight he had with Ken Paves right before the show!









One Response to “Julianne Moore…Ayyyy!”




  1. Linda F Says:

    The comment about propping up his one-legged wife, the gold bullion and the mullet HURT me, I laughed so hard. Whole office is popping up like gophers at my hee haws……Fabulous writing all — and so imaginative!




Leave a Reply












Disclaimer: Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Manolo Blahnik
Copyright © 2007; Manolo the Shoeblogger, All Rights Reserved




  • Recent Comments:











  • Subscribe!

    Editors

    Spirit Fingers
    Plumcake

    Contributor

    raincoaster

    Publisher

    Manolo the Shoeblogger






    Categories

  • Adrien Brody
  • Al Pacino
  • Alicia Keys
  • American Idol
  • Amy Winehouse
  • Anderson Cooper
  • Angelina Jolie
  • Anna Wintour
  • Anne Hathaway
  • Annette Bening
  • Anthropomorphized Shoes
  • Ashlee Simpson
  • Ashton Kutcher
  • Athletes
  • Avril Lavigne
  • Awards Show
  • Ayyyy!
  • babies
  • Bad hair
  • Bad Plastic Surgery
  • Bai Ling
  • Baldwins
  • Beauty pageant
  • Ben Affleck
  • Benicio del Toro
  • Bennifer
  • Beyonce
  • Billionaires
  • Billy Ray Cyrus
  • Brad Pitt
  • Brangelina
  • Breaking Up
  • Britney Spears
  • Brooke Shields
  • Bruce Willis
  • Cameron Diaz
  • Carmen Electra
  • Cate Blanchett
  • Catherine Zeta-Jones
  • Celine Dion
  • Charlie Sheen
  • Charlize Theron
  • Cher
  • Chloë Sevigny
  • Christian Bale
  • Christina Aguilera
  • Christopher Walken
  • Cindy Crawford
  • Cloris Leachman
  • Colin Farrell
  • Comebacks
  • Comedians
  • Cougars
  • Courtney Love
  • Crazy Couples
  • Crooks
  • Cute critters
  • Daniel Craig
  • Daniel Radcliffe
  • David Beckham
  • David Duchovny
  • David Hasselhoff
  • Debra Messing
  • Demi Moore
  • Despots
  • Diana Ross
  • Diane Kruger
  • Diddy
  • Directors
  • Dita von Teese
  • Donald Trump
  • Donatella Versace
  • Drew Barrymore
  • Ellen Degeneris
  • Emma Thompson
  • Emma Watson
  • Ethan Hawke
  • Eva Green
  • Eva Longoria
  • Eva Mendes
  • Fashion
  • Fashion Victim
  • Federline!
  • Fergie
  • George Clooney
  • Gerard Depardieu
  • Giorgio Armani
  • Gwen Stefani
  • Gwyneth Paltrow
  • Halle Berry
  • Has Beens
  • Hayden Panettiere
  • Heath Ledger
  • Heather Graham
  • Heather Locklear
  • Helen Mirren
  • Hilary Duff
  • Hilary Swank
  • Hugh Grant
  • Hugh Jackman
  • Hunks
  • Jada Pinkett Smith
  • Jailbirds
  • Jake Gyllenhaal
  • Jamie-Lynn Spears
  • Janet Jackson
  • Janice Dickinson
  • Jay-Z
  • Jennifer Aniston
  • Jennifer Garner
  • Jennifer Hudson
  • Jennifer Lopez
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt
  • Jeremy Piven
  • Jerks
  • Jessica Alba
  • Jessica Biel
  • Jessica Simpson
  • Joaquin Phoenix
  • Jody Foster
  • John Malkovich
  • John Stamos
  • John Travolta
  • Johnny Depp
  • Jonathan Rhys Meyers
  • Jude Law
  • Julia Roberts
  • Justin Timberlake
  • Kanye West
  • Karl Lagerfeld
  • Kate Beckinsale
  • Kate Bosworth
  • Kate Hudson
  • Kate Moss'
  • Katherine Heigl
  • Katie Holmes
  • Katie Price
  • Katy Perry
  • Kid Rock
  • Kiefer Sutherland
  • Kiera Knightley
  • Kirsten Dunst
  • Kristen Bell
  • Kristen Stewart
  • Kylie Minogue
  • Lady Gaga
  • Leonardo DiCaprio
  • Lily Allen
  • Lindsay Lohan
  • Lisa Rinna
  • Liv Tyler
  • Living legend
  • Liz Hurley
  • Liza Minelli
  • Lucy Lawless
  • Madonna
  • Mandy Moore
  • Mariah Carey
  • Marisa Tomei
  • Martha Stewart
  • Mary Kate Olsen
  • Matt Damon
  • Matthew McConaughey
  • Meg Ryan
  • Megan Fox
  • Mel Gibson
  • Melanie Griffith
  • Michael Jackson
  • Michelle Pfeiffer
  • Mickey Rourke
  • Miley Cyrus
  • Mischa Barton
  • Monica Bellucci
  • Natalie Portman
  • Nicolas Cage
  • Nicole Kidman
  • Nicole Richie
  • Nigella Lawson
  • Obituaries
  • Old Hollywood
  • Oprah Winfrey
  • Orlando Bloom
  • Owen Wilson
  • Pamela Anderson
  • Paris Hilton
  • Patrick Swayze
  • Paula Abdul
  • Penelope Cruz
  • Pete Doherty
  • Politicians
  • Posh Spice
  • Priscilla Presley
  • Rachel Weisz
  • Reality Show Stars
  • Reese Witherspoon
  • Rehab
  • religious figures
  • Renee Zellweger
  • Rihanna
  • Robert Pattison
  • Robin Wright Penn
  • Rockers and Popstars
  • Royalty
  • RuPaul
  • Russell Crowe
  • Ryan Phillippe
  • Salma Hayek
  • Sandra Bullock
  • Sarah Jessica Parker
  • Saturday Night Live
  • Scarlett Johanssen
  • Shannen Doherty
  • Sharon Stone
  • Sheryl Crow
  • Shia LaBeouf
  • Shopping guide
  • Sienna Miller
  • Socialites
  • Sophie Marceau
  • Sports stars
  • Starlets
  • Stella McCartney
  • Super Fantastic!
  • Super Models
  • Suri Cruise
  • Susan Sarandon
  • Tara Reid
  • Teri Hatcher
  • The Olsen Twins
  • Tilda Swinton
  • Tom Cruise
  • Tom Hanks
  • Toni Collette
  • Tori Spelling
  • Trent Reznor
  • Tyra Banks
  • Uma Thurman
  • Uncategorized
  • Valentino
  • Verka Serduckha!
  • Viggo Mortensen
  • Who Wore It Better?
  • Whoopi Goldberg
  • Will Smith
  • William Shatner
  • WTF?
  • Zac Efron