Ayyyy!

SPIRIT FINGERS: Three generations of women, bound by their bad dyejobs and love for eyeliner. This is not unlike the majority of family Christmas Cards.

PLUMCAKE: And then there’s the benign, Colin Firth-lookin’ dude in the background. What do you bet that when he saw this photo he was all “OMG I knew it…I’m totally the Marilyn.”

MANOLO: The Manolo’s first thought? This is why Elvis died young, so he wouldn’t have to see this.

SPIRIT FINGERS: Ryan Cabrera is just a few undone buttons away from being the next Kid Rock.

PLUMCAKE: I’m just trying to figure out the neckerchief. Does Valtrex come in a site-specific patch now? It’s about suppression…and accessorizing.

MANOLO: You just know that if the King had lived, Ryan Cabrera would now be tasting the sweet karate-based justice of the Memphis Mafia

SPIRIT FINGERS: I’m guessing Priscilla is suffering from a rare skin condition that forces her to keep out of daylight. What is it called..starts with v…vampirism, that’s the one.

MANOLO: Vampirism? The Manolo was thinking Kabuki-ism. She looks ready to play the role of Yum-Yum in the Berlin Experimental Theater version of the Mikado. (Now with 90% less Gilbert and Sullivan, and 100% more incomprehensible Germanic angst!)

SPIRIT FINGERS: All that’s missing is some eye of newt and a bubbling cauldron. Then the coven will be ready induct its latest member – a very bored-looking supermodel with fingers growing on her back.

KATE MOSS: Oi. I come all the way over here, put on my favorite furry jumper (the answer is fourteen okay? Fourteen long-haired Northumbrian badgers had to die, so just leave it alone, alright?) in hopes of maybe sharing a little something with the family of one of my personal heroes, right? NOTHING. Not even a contact high. ALSO, I don’t even think the little blonde one is even an Olsen.

SPIRIT FINGERS: The little blonde one has either had too much to drink or been possessed by vengeful badger spirits with Scientologist leanings.

MANOLO: Why is Lisa Marie smiling? Did Michael Jackson’s tour bus just run over Nicolas Cage?

SPIRIT FINGERS: I am equally repelled and fascinated by Priscilla’s inability to move her face. Remind me never to invite her to Poker Wednesdays.

MANOLO: This face is so hardened you could use it to crack ice for your drinks.

PRISCILLA: Fools! This is the finest Carrera marble, imported from the same quarries that supplied Michelangelo! Your icepicks will bounce off me like toothpicks against the statue of David itself.

This entry was posted on Friday, December 21st, 2007 at 11:17 am by Manolo the Shoeblogger and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.