One is a confirmed Death Eater who fears very little, the other is rumoured to be deathly afraid of eating too much.

Pete Doherty, bad boy, worse fighter (AgentBedhead)

Katherine Heigl is cute, honest, soon to be unemployed (HolyCandy)

News Flash: American Idol loser is loser! (Defamer)

Jennifer Lopez rocks the baby bump (CelebrityBabyScoop)

So does Ozzy Osbourne (HolyMoly)

Kate Moss converts to carbs? (ImNotObsessed)

Britney’s rent boy (CeleBitchy)

Renee Zellweger is Bee-having (ICYDK)

Heather Mills was a porn star; worse, she was a bad perm aficionado! (Ninjadude)

Ethan Hawke follows in the footsteps of Jude Law, Robin Williams (GabbyBabble)

What did Meg Ryan do to her face? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Angelina and Maddox salute the National Guard (JustJared)

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden launch their children’s charity (PerezHilton)

Will Smith may or may not be harboring body thetans (DListed)

Whitney Houston’s comeback not ready for prime time (Bossip)

The Spice Girls sex up Vangroover (WickedYouth)

Carrie Underwood is back on the market (IDLYITW)

Bryan Adams sports a proud unibrow (TheMeatScale)

Lindsay Lohan, proud pinto (Celebslam)

Mandy Moore, proud floor-farker! (CelebritySmack)

Ashley Tisdale is a deviant no more! (EvilBeet)

What blinding light through yonder window breaks? It is Aretha Franklin! (Jezebel)

Manolo says, so immobile, they make the most recent incarnation of Britney Spears appear almost life like.

When I was a wee lass, before my heart turned to stone and my liver to fiberglass, I used to frolic and play like normal children. In the winter, when the weather was blustery and cold, my grandmum would knit me mittens, which of course, I would leave all over creation (in this case creation mostly consisted of playgrounds, the carousel and interestingly enough, the Library of Congress.) Thankfully she had the foresight to sew my name into each mitten and as often as not, they arrived safely back from their adventures.  It’s good to see that British “glamour model” Jordan (a.k.a. Katie Price, a.k.a. Mrs. Peter Andre) has a grandmum with the same idea.

Everytime one of these ultra-scary photos of Heath Ledger as the Joker crops up, I think to myself maybe the Joker renounced humanity because nobody bothered to do a colour analysis for him.  Not knowing how to find the right clothes and cosmetics to complement one’s colouring can easily turn one into a psychotic, schizophrenic mass-murderer with zero empathy. 

But leaving aside whether he’s a cool summer or a clear spring or even a light winter, it may surprise you to know that not many celebrities realise the Joker ended up that way by plummeting into a vat of chemicals.  If they had known it was as easy as that, actresses like Joan Van Ark could have saved a lot of money and time in order to achieve her end goal, whatever that may be.

Stalker Resource: your celebrity address book! (dissfunktional)

Happy Birthday, Britney! Hope someone gave you new extensions (PerezHilton)

Paris Hilton gets matching lips (TheMeatScale)

JLoHew’s butt speaks out! (Popsugar)

Eddie Murphy does his daughter a favor (CelebritySmack)

Who wore it best: Ariel or Beyonce? (HolyCandy)

Is this the worst celebrity tattoo in Hollywood? (HolyMoly)

Cindy Crawford still perfect, married to perfect man (SplashNewsOnline)

Paris Hilton in flotation device stranglehold! (Mollygood)

Eva Green will cut you, look fabulous doing it (DListed)

Christina Aguilera’s cookie craving (ImNotObsessed)

Jay Leno coughs up for staff, still falls short (EW)

Avril Lavigne is in my hood! Should be wearing one in this weather! (DailyStab)

Jennifer Lopez debuts the BIG bump at Movies Rock 2007 (JustJared)

Tom Cruise puts the muscle on a big bear (CelebrityBabyScoop)

A picture is worth a thousand words…particularly this one of Tomkat (SeriouslyOMG)

What are celebrities for? Amy Winehouse lives out our nightmares (HollywoodBackwash)

Rushing to put it all together for that important date with whomever the gossip magazines claim you’re supposed to be dating this week?

Next time you might want to get a second opinion before leaving the house.  He may only be three years old and in need of a hair trim but at least he knows when something is terribly amiss.

In her heyday Madame Evangelista was known far and wide for her uncanny ability to predict the next season’s fashion trends using nothing more than a deck of dog-eared, tea-stained tarot cards and a cloudy crystal ball. However her services fetched a pretty price and it was rumoured that she once refused to get out of her caravan for less than 10,000 gold coins a day.