Nicolas Sarkozy is a sexy bitch, and so is his supermodel (AgentBedhead)

Pamela Anderson divorce is on/off/on/what time is it? (CelebritySmack)

Jennifer Love Hewitt is not big-bottomed, she’s pregnant! (Yeeeeah)

Michael Jackson, natural beauty. Do. Not. Click. Without. Strong. Stomach. 4realz (PopOnThePop)

Nicole Kidman wears tinfoil pantsuit, picks up thetans at three furlongs! (CelebWarship)

Heather Mills to write gold digger’s manual? (Gabbybabble)

Beyonce Knowles: singer, dancer, actress, psychic (HolyCandy)

Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton welcome another little Goth (CelebrityBabyScoop)

10 most stylish stars of 2007 (ImNotObsessed)

Best autographers in Hollywood (Defamer)

Bea Arthur and Rock Hudson sing gaily about drugs! (Jezebel)

Julia Roberts knits fan sweaters for Johnny Depp’s kids (CeleBitchy)

Is Amy Winehouse an addicted loser or a racist addicted loser?  (Mollygood)

Picket-busting buttho’s? (Dlisted)

Any Winehouse Suicide Pact (PerezHilton)

Scared of Santa gallery (TeenyManolo)

In January’s W magazine, we learn that Hilary Swank may have been a bit hypocritical in revealing that ex-husband Chad Lowe had a substance abuse problem:

“This is my Aloe C, which I dissolve in water,” she says, brandishing a giant orange pill. “Here’s my flax. This one’s for my immune system, and this one is my BrainWave—it’s great, like if I have a lot of lines to memorize.” Swank takes nearly 45 supplements a day, tossing them into her mile-wide maw at various hours according to a carefully determined schedule. “I just took my most important ones, which are my Oz Garcia Longevity Pak,” she continues, rattling the empty green packet. “I shoved them in my mouth right before I met you, which I actually shouldn’t do, because I choked on my vitamins once before.”

Of course with any excessive pill-popping, there are potentially serious side effects. But as long as one can memorise the script to unerring perfection, it matters little what uncontrollable limb-contorting gestures accompany the delivery of those award-winning lines.

Although not from farmer stock, Victoria Beckham knows enough about agricultural equipment and heavy machinery to describe her husband’s more salient qualities:

Victoria Beckham has claimed that her husband didn’t have his manhood digitally enhanced for a recent underwear ad campaign.The Spice Girl insists that the bulge in the Emporio Armani advert is genuine and that his equipment is similar to a “tractor exhaust pipe”.

She is quoted as saying: “I’m proud I still have a really good sex life with David. He is very much in proportion. He does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his. It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!”

And speaking of bodily protrusions, it looks like David isn’t the only one in the marriage with a natural bulge either.

Christian Louboutins, a weapon in more ways than one when it comes to suspected philandering husbands.  Put them on his credit card and stab him in his sleep when the stress becomes unbearable.

Once we’ve got our arms around you, we’ll never let you go!

50 most powerful celebrity babies (Defamer)

Don’t hassel the Hoff: he’s back in rehab! (CeleBitchy)

Prince Harry, prince of hearts (or certain organs, anyway) (Jezebel)

Adrian Grenier, volunteer, plus one (Websters)

No Wii for Paula Abdul! (Yeeeeah)

Katie Holmes shares Tom Cruise’s turn-ons. Travolta unavailable for comment? (Fox)

Toni Collette, still pregnant, sporting Spanish moss disguise (TheMeatScale)

Samantha Ronson makes Perez Hilton look good (PrettyBoring)

Jessica Simpson is big in Texas. Wow, so it’s true! (ASocialitesLife)

Jennifer Aniston uses hankie! (HollywoodRag)

ICANHAZINAPPROPRIATELOLZ? (BestWeekEver)

They tried to make her go to rehab and she said “Soon, soon, soon.” (Mollygood)

Bai Ling gets her picture taken with Santa (DListed)

The Beckham family rocks the Cobain family look (PopSugar)

Victoria shows off the new funbags (HollywoodTuna)

Graffiti holy grail found in NYC (CityRag)

Winona Ryder sex tape shocker (raincoaster)

VH1 makes ‘em, breaks ‘em. NEXT! (CelebritySmack)

Tori Amos tosses fit, cellphone chatters, mid-song (YouTube)

You stay classy, David Gest (HolyCandy)

You stay classy, Hugh Grant! (ImNotObsessed)

Britney’s sick. Big surprise there. (US)

Rosie O’Donnell, American Gladiator? (AgentBedhead) (does this deserve the Athletes tag?)

Jon Voight: Okay Voight, you can do this. You have an Oscar dammit! Sure, central casting sent over the wrong children, but seriously, it’s not like anyone’s gonna notice, right? How many do they have now, anyway…twelve, thirteen? No one’s going to know them ALL.  Now I wonder how I’m gonna convince the tall one to play Asian.

It’s been about two years since Jon Voight rather convincingly played the late Pope Jean Paul II in a two-part telemovie. Yet starlets still continue to line up in droves for the privilege to kiss his hand and receive blessings for semi-decent movie roles that don’t require them to get naked and/or be the token love interest to someone older than their grandpa.