Ayyyy!

Britney Spears’ GurneyGate 2.0 : the timeline (Defamer)

GurneyGate 2.0: The starfuckers speak! (CelebritySmack)

GurneyGate 2.0 was a plot? (ASocialitesLife)

Britney Spears is NOT full of it (CelebWarship)

Justin Chambers is keeping Britney company on the psych ward (TMZ)

Ryan Secrest is a Victoria’s Secret angel (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity day jobs (Cityrag)

Katie Holmes rebels! (Celebitchy)

Xenu strikes back; Scientology centers evacuated (Dlisted)

Jessica Simpson has a well-padded torso (DailyStab)

Speaking of which: quiz: who’s your celebrity boob twin? (raincoaster)

Elijah Wood: hot or not? (POTP)

Rachel Bilson IS the Eighties (GoFugYourself)

Jake Gyllenhaal was stayin’ alive (NinjaDude)

Billy Bush lays the smackdown on Mary Hart over exploitative Heath Ledger video (HolyCandy)

George Clooney is serious, perfect (Popsugar)

Teri Hatcher is a bag carrier (ImNotObsessed)

Behind the masks: Michael Jackson’s children have faces. White faces (Mollygood)

JK Rowling and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat (TheMeatScale)

Pete Doherty at no risk of babydaddyhood (PerezHilton)

Which of the following best explains the purpose of the top half of Kate Hudson’s dress : 
(a) to serve as an inbuilt weathervane, to determine which way the wind is blowing
(b) to provide fragrant respite from the pungent odour of Matthew McConaughey
(c)  to pay homage to the frilled neck lizard, a native of Australia, where Fool’s Gold was filmed
(d) it is purely decorative, just like a baby alien that has burst out of your chest

Trying to figure out what kind of lingerie brings out your inner sexy can often be an arduous chore, so I’m really pleased the folks at the Paris International lingerie show are able to show me how it’s done.

See Saw? (AgentBedhead)

Martha Stewart enjoys a morning Martini with Meredith Viera (Defamer)

Celebrity Baby Auctions (Gawker)

Julie Christie is still a heartbreaker (Celebitchy)

So is Britney (Dlisted)

Ten smelliest celebs (Yeeeeah)

How gay is Top Gun? (Cityrag)

Lucy Lawless is a celestial body (GlitteratiGossip)

The Oprah Sarcophagus (CelebritySmack)

Portia and Ellen visi- HOLD THE PHONE! WHOOP, WHOOP, UGLY SHOE ALERT! (EvilBeet)

JLo and MarAn’s baby names revealed (DailyStab)

Spoiler Alert: Cloverfield Spoilers. Spoiler Alert! Duh. (fourfour)

Nicole Kidman is hoping for a visit from the Titty Fairy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Julianne Moore is on the granola and yogurt diet (HollywoodBackwash)

Britney Spears is Bazooka Joe’s biggest fan (Celebwarship)

Bart Simpson is a Scientologist (HolyCandy)

Katherine Heigl is smoking, hot? (ImNotObsessed)

Jessica Alba is having a boy (Popsugar)

The Sean Young SAG wig-out video (PerezHilton)

One is the longtime leader of the Heartbreakers, the other was the short-lived teen queen of angsty heartbreak.

Here are the answers to Monday’s Ayyyy! Puzzle corner:
1. Remember the Titans
2. The Waterboy
3. Any Given Sunday
4. Rudy
5. Varsity Blues
6. Brian’s Song
7. Friday Night Lights
8. Wildcats

Well done gemdiva for achieving the first perfect score in the short history of this blog! We bow before your unparalleled expertise in football movies. Clearly from the record level of participation, everyone else was either stunned into submission or overwhelmed with the sheer excitement of it all.

What’s so special about this latest news professing that Lindsay Lohan has once again lapsed into her old boozy ways:

Less than a month after photographers caught a post-rehab Lindsay Lohan drinking champagne straight from the bottle, new reports claim the actress is off the wagon again.

According to the New York Post’s Page Six, Lindsay “took a swig of vodka from a bottle of Grey Goose” Friday night while partying at the Box with all-star ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos, “The Hills’” Brody Jenner and “an entourage of blond 20-somethings.” That same night, spies for the New York Daily News spotted LiLo downing “at least two” vodka cocktails at the Beatrice Inn.

Well this time, the interesting thing is she appears to have fallen off the wagon straight into the Fountain of Rapid Aging and Sharon Stone’s Cast-off Furs.

Shia LaBoeufcake is horny! (Towleroad)

Clay Aiken is saving himself…forever! (Defamer)

Julie Newmar is Cougarwoman! (Copyranter)

Speaking of Catwoman, Sean Young’s drunken tirade earns her a one-way ticket to rehab (Dlisted)

Craig, Daniel Craig, defends new Bond flick (AgentBedhead)

Ricci, Christina Ricci is groped by an ape (CelebritySmack)

The economics of Amy Winehouse (Derober)

Thank you, Jesus! It’s Viggo Mortensen! (TheMeatScale)

Britney Spears blah blah crazy blah blah paparazzi blah… (IDLYITW)

Ali Larter and the Chocolate Suite of Diet Doom (DailyStab)

Spice and Nice (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Gwen Stefani: baby on board! (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Lindsay Lohan is on and off the wagon like a pioneer with a weak bladder (CeleBitchy)

Eva Longoria uses dead people to hook up with George Clooney? (People)

Con artist poses as Heath Ledger’s dad (NYP)

Sandra Oh, explained (GoFugYourself)

Adrian Grenier’s nuts! (HolyCandy)

Nicole Richie is tiny again, caffeinated again (ImNotObsessed)

Presenting: Britney Spears in Alfred Hitchcock’s The Paparazzi (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Yes, Uma Thurman is, in fact, perfect (Egotastic)

Miley Ray Cyrus is legal in at least ONE way now (Mollygood)

Verne “Mini Me” Troyer ambushed by accusatory paparazzo (PerezHilton)

Crispin “Rat Catching” Glover’s ex takes to YouTube for some teary vengence (Gawker)

Drew “He’s My Best Friend” Barrymore is fully Mac Guy compatible (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Hordes of photographers turned out in force yesterday to catch Mariah Carey in the act of doing what the rich and famous do when they feel like taking the dog for a walk:

Mariah Carey and her Jack Russell puppy caused a paparazzi frenzy yesterday as they went on an expensive shopping spree in Beverly Hills.

The soul diva and Jack - or Jackson P Muttley, to give him his full title - headed for the exclusive district of Rodeo Drive for jewellery and some new clothes for Jack.

After sipping champagne as she shopped for trinkets in jewellery house Van Cleef & Arpels, Mariah, 38, treated her pooch to a new coat and dog lead from Gucci before showing him off to photographers.

Fortunately for all involved, the store assistants were well acquainted with the lessons taught by Pretty Woman and knew better than to turn away the opportunity to earn several years’ worth of commission in the space of a few hours.

In this fickle celebrity world of random hookups and quickie marriages which end before the honeymoon starts, you’ll be glad to know that at least one couple is still going strong.

On this day in 1958, Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward exchanged their wedding vows at the El Rancho Vegas. Happy 50th anniversary, Paul and Joanne! Here’s to many more years of marital bliss!

Tom Cruise is subdued at the Saggies (AgentBedhead)

Tom Cruise’s Wehrmacht ID (FrontierEditor)

John Travolta checks out the competition (Defamer)

Did you know: Without Scientology, you’re dead! (Mollygood)

Teh LOLcats h8 Scientology (raincoaster)

Amy Winehouse’s widower-to-be can hardly wait! (CelebritySmack)

Worst-dressed at the SAGGIES (Yeeeeah)

Pete Doherty loves teh kittehs (Dlisted)

Justin Timberlake is bringing the Ewok back (DerekHail)

Beckham’s boyzilian (Towelroad)

Perennially Possibly Pregnant Angie rocks the muumuu (TheBlemish)

Certifiably Insane Bjork rocks the Marushka Doll in Vegas look (BestWeekEver)

Debra Messing rocks like an Egyptian (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jamie-Lynn Spears is hard-partying, baby-making (CelebWarship)

Kiefer! Kiefer! Kiefer! Donald! Donald! Donald! (Celebitchy)

Paris Hilton goes to a lesbian club, leaves with Brittney Gastineau (EvilBeet)

Kate Beckinsale’s pussy was on fire (HolyCandy)

Hayden Panettiere saves the whales! (ImNotObsessed)

Mischa Barton brings a Yeti back from Sundance (DailyStab)

New Kids On The starting Block? Or Not? (PerezHilton)

Your gossip blog unicorn chaser: St. George the Divine (GoFugYourself)

So this is how it’s gonna be, huh Jennifer?

Well FINE. You just BE that way. Trotting around looking all normal and well-adjusted with your normal and well-adjusted baby THAT YOU DIDN’T EVEN BUY! How do you think that makes us, the celebrity bloggers of the universe, feel? What about OUR needs or do we just not count anymore? It’s bad enough you and your stupid wholesome dimples brought Ben Affleck back from the booty-biting dark side, but you had to pass it on to another generation with that robo-cute baby.
Oh, and don’t get me STARTED on the naming. Violet? VIOLET? Would it have KILLED you to name her oh, I don’t know, like Rubber Rose Schenectady or Pinkwilly Grace?  GOD.  Some people can be SO selfish.