Demon choppers of Fleet Street » Ayyyy!







Demon choppers of Fleet Street

By Spirit Fingers

My dress is wilting in the presence of Johnny Depp

In addition to a hairbrush and a dress that doesn’t start peeling off as the night wears on, we must now add upper lip wax, a double head electric toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss, mouthwash, one of those industrial-strength teeth whitening gels and a laser beam more powerful than the Death Star’s to the list of things that Helena Bonham Carter urgently needs to invest in.

You kiss your mother (and Tim Burton) with that mouth?








14 Responses to “Demon choppers of Fleet Street”




  1. Margo Says:

    I rather love her for not giving a rat’s arse. She just throws on some billowy satin number, coils up her mane a throws out a crafty smile. Props.




  2. caitlin Says:

    That is SO FOUL. It’s making me gag.




  3. a girl Says:

    Gah! That’s awful.




  4. Lilly Munster Says:

    It’s the bride of frankenstein all over again. EEEEWWWW




  5. jen Says:

    You gotta be kidding, where did she get all that hair on her lip?? It looks like a baby mouse is trying to crawl up her nostril, GAG!! Girlfriend needs some wax, BAD!!




  6. raincoaster Says:

    Didn’t she just give birth? How do you do that with all that testosterone in your system?

    The teeth come naturally: she is, of course, British.




  7. Jennie Says:

    She has enough money to get to the dentist. While she’s shopping, how about some nose hair trimmers….And how is that dress staying up? Glue? Tape? Sweat?It’s like the mystery of the baggy pants that defy the gravity..




  8. Debra Says:

    Oh Dear God !! I know the Brits are famous for bad teeth, but come on, it’s 2008 !!! Her teeth look disgusting !! Get that woman to a Dentist ! Tout Suite !




  9. ChaChaHeels Says:

    I’m another one who loves Helena Bonham Carter precisely because she just doesn’t care about this kind of nonsense. Women grow hair on their upper lips, yes they do; some people skip the opportunity to brush on occasion, yes they do. What kind of a jackass takes close up shots of a woman’s teeth to make a buck, for chrissake?

    She looks great for someone who’s just given birth and is out there “making the rounds” almost immediately afterwards to promote a film.

    One last thing: isn’t that “british teeth” joke a big fat ancient cliche? Seems to me it’s going into it’s third or fourth decade of overuse. Original thinking wouldn’t kill us, really.




  10. raincoaster Says:

    Oh, I think originally. And I know many, many English people, some of them with good teeth. The ones who live in Canada.

    Two words: Shane McGowan.




  11. raincoaster Says:

    To be fair, Shane has gone and done something about his gnarly teefs:
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=CoDmN58NtE8




  12. Anne (in Reno) Says:

    It seems a bit picky to zoom in that close when she jut had a kid and this is probably her first publicity appearance in months. That, and why is everyone obsessed with other people’s teeth? Maybe she has her mouth shut in the top photo on purpose? She looks f*cking gorgeous in the top photo and I agree with Margo – good for her for not obsessing about her body like some lame starletard. She is gorgeous and talented and I don’t really care what her teeth look like.

    Oh shoot, I must have come to the wrong site.




  13. raincoaster Says:

    How long post-partum is the dental grace period? When people appear on the red carpet to get their pictures taken, they’re relatively confident that people will look at them, no?




  14. Indifferent Says:

    Eh. I think it’s stupid when people take an extreme closeup of someone and then criticize the hell out of it. Nobody looks good when you get up that close, and it just means that women have to become even more self-absorbed in their own image before they go anywhere. Women have hair on their lips and sometimes people have bad teeth. True, she has the money to get rid of the staining, but maybe she has more important things in her life. Anyway, didn’t your mothers ever teach you that it’s rude to go around pointing out people’s faults?




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