2008 January » Ayyyy! (5)



Archive for January, 2008


You will also need a timesharing arrangement

Wednesday, January 16th, 2008
By Spirit Fingers

An economical use of diamonds

Ever wanted to share clothes with your nearest and dearest? Introducing the dual-purpose bejewelled lady collar and puppy cloak for owner and pet.  One size fits all.


HTMLinks

Wednesday, January 16th, 2008
By raincoaster

Simon Cowell’s smelly balls (Defamer)

Whacko Jacko did not force man to have cosmetic surgery (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Brad Renfro, RIP (Gawker)

The Blogger Pete Doherty (AgentBedhead)

Skinny Gwynnie hospitalized (DailyStab)

Matthew McConaughey somebody’s babydaddy (Celebitchy)

Joel Madden, babydaddy, blogger (EvilBeet)

Mark Ronson is a full-service music producer (ASocialitesLife)

Ten least sexy nude scenes of all time (BestWeekEver)

Fabio will, like, fuck you up (Mollygood)

Diane Keaton will do it right on GMA (Jossip)

Lilo looks for leggings (ImNotObsessed)

Nicole Richie’s baby? What a looker! (PlanetHiltron)

Johnny Depp donates, performs Jack Sparrow panto at a children’s hospital (HolyMoly)

Annie Lennox, dumped! (ICYDK)

Purse dogs? Katie Holmes has a purse husband! (GoFugYourself)

Jennifer Garner dodged a bullet (HolyCandy)

Just another day in crazy town for Britney (GabbyBabble)

Lindsay Lohan incognito at traffic school (TMZ)

Zac Efron is de-appendixed (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Britney’s kids have already forgotten her (CelebWarship)


Who wore it better?

Tuesday, January 15th, 2008
By Spirit Fingers

FergaliciousPlagiaricious

It’s the battle of faux royalty - the Dutchess vs the Punk pop princess! You may also fondly recall that one famously leaked bodily fluid while onstage while the other infamously expels bodily fluid while offstage.


Unleash your animal instincts

Tuesday, January 15th, 2008
By Spirit Fingers

I'll make your hair look fabulous, darling!

If studying the mating habits of macaques means getting to hang out by relaxing hot springs, then sign me up:

Male macaque monkeys pay for sex by grooming females, according to a recent study that suggests the primates may treat sex as a commodity. “In primate societies, grooming is the underlying fabric of it all,” Dr. Michael Gumert, a primatologist at the Nanyang Technological University in Singapore, said in a telephone interview Saturday.

…Gumert found after a male grooms a female, the likelihood that she will engage in sexual activity with the male was about three times more than if the grooming had not occurred.

We have an opportunity then, to conduct a little social experiment to see how much in common we have with these creatures. Now - all the men who are so inclined, please examine the picture below and tell us whether the promise of a passionate encounter with this fine specimen is enough to get you running your fingers through that head of hair like a meaty comb.

test subject


All is revealed!

Tuesday, January 15th, 2008
By Spirit Fingers

Full disclosure

Behold the belles of the ball with heads restored - from top left: Cameron Diaz, Portia de Rossi, Kate Hudson, Courtney Love, Hilary Swank, Beyonce, Julia Roberts, Lara Flynn Boyle.

Well done, slavic blonde for identifying 6 out of the 8. We doff our hats to your red carpet deductive skills.


Totally 100% Heterolinkual

Tuesday, January 15th, 2008
By raincoaster

Sharon stone switches teams (AgentBedhead)

Jenna Jameson retires  (CelebritySmack)

You don’t know Tom Cruise Scientology indoctrination videos! I do! (Defamer)

Paris Hilton goes down again (CelebWarship)

Clay Aiken is totally gangsta, straight up (HolyCandy)

Matthew McConaughey went skyclad at the country club (Dlisted)

Amy Winehouse is Sporty Smack Spice (BittenAndBound)

Zac Efron, choirboy (Derober)

Mary J. Blige may be on ‘roids (CeleBitchy)

Nicole Kidman’s life on the needle (Nachobaby)

Tila Tequila, slutty, superannuated schoolgirl (TheGrumpiest)

Somebody has Tom Cruise by the balls (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Elijah Wood rocks the Donovan bouffant (EvilBeet)

Salma Hayek unveils Valentina (DailyStab)

Oral review: Monica Lewinsky’s anniversary (Gawker)


Bjork, silent mauler of lensmen

Monday, January 14th, 2008
By Spirit Fingers

I've always wanted a backless polo neck

When will these daredevil photographers ever learn that Icelandic pixie songstresses are best observed from afar through a long-distance lens, behind the safety of a barbed fence, much like the wild beasts of the Serengeti:

Bjork, who is in the northern city of Auckland to perform at the Big Day Out concert on Friday, tore “New Zealand Herald” photographer Glenn Jeffrey’s shirt after he photographed her arriving at the airport early Sunday, he told news agency New Zealand Press Association according to a report on Monday.

Jeffrey, a news photographer for 25 years, said Bjork was accompanied by a man who asked him not take photos.

“I took a couple of pictures … and as I turned and walked away she came up behind me, grabbed the back of my black skivvy (T-shirt) and tore it,” he told the agency.

“As she did this, she fell over, she fell to the ground,” he said. “At no stage did I touch her or speak with her.”

Bjork said nothing throughout the incident but her male companion was saying: “‘B, don’t do this, B, don’t do this,’” Jeffrey said.

To all of you who plan on using that cameraphone next time you encounter her in the flesh, consider yourself sufficiently warned.  This Glenn Jeffrey guy was actually lucky to escape with merely shreds of fabric instead of mangled skin flapping off his back. Unfortunately the same could not be said for the photographer who sacrificed themselves to capture Bjork in all her glory below.

Mildly annoyed


Ayyyy! Puzzle corner

Sunday, January 13th, 2008
By Spirit Fingers

Headless horrors

In lieu of the usual Golden Globe fashion roundup please accept this modest selection of red carpet gowns from the past. Faces have been removed to protect the guilty but please, go ahead with naming and shaming them.

Updated: Answers will be put up on Tuesday.


A star is born

Saturday, January 12th, 2008
By Spirit Fingers

Great expectations

Amidst the recent deluge of celebrity babies, spare a thought for Nuremberg Zoo’s new arrival, barely a month old.  It’s a turbulent time to be entering the world but hang in there little one, soon the writers’ strike will end and there will be something decent to watch on tv. 


A beachball for every occasion

Friday, January 11th, 2008
By Spirit Fingers

I've got some junk in the trunk

Finally, a style solution for the problem known as Gisele Bundchen.  How nice that they came up with this artfully concealing design so we don’t have to be subjected to her excess upper arm and back fat. 


Demon choppers of Fleet Street

Friday, January 11th, 2008
By Spirit Fingers

My dress is wilting in the presence of Johnny Depp

In addition to a hairbrush and a dress that doesn’t start peeling off as the night wears on, we must now add upper lip wax, a double head electric toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss, mouthwash, one of those industrial-strength teeth whitening gels and a laser beam more powerful than the Death Star’s to the list of things that Helena Bonham Carter urgently needs to invest in.

You kiss your mother (and Tim Burton) with that mouth?


Welcome to Link City

Friday, January 11th, 2008
By raincoaster

Hollywood royalty: Queen Latifah and Tom Cruise (AgentBedhead)

RuPaul’s birth chart (RuPaul)

Johnny Depp’s tattoos: your handy-dandy guide (Hub)

Madonna diverts Malawi charity funds to Kabbalah (CeleBitchy)

Nicole Richie set to lose ~20-25 lbs in one week! (CelebritySmack)

How to kiss Zac Efron (BackseatCuddler)

Eva Mendes, world’s least plausible wan-nun-be (DailyStab)

Tom Hanks, world’s least plausible playboy (okay, except for Cruise) (Cityrag)

Tyra Banks, world’s least plausible lonelyheart (Jossip)

Katie Holmes, world’s least plausible Marathoner (Defamer)

George Clooney, world’s least pl- oh hell, he’s George Clooney, he can be a union negotiator if he wants (PerezHilton)

Miley Cyrus uses body double to perform at concert (Newser)

The ten most inspiring beards of all time (what, no Katie?) (BestWeekEver)

Kathy Griffin goes bare (HolyCandy)

Obama vs Gregory: the dance-off (Wonkette)

Kim Cattrall is bringing the Eighties back! (ImNotObsessed)

Tila Tequila gives Bai Ling a run for her money (DerekHail)

Amy Winehouse is the Albino Wino (DailyMail)







Disclaimer: Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Manolo Blahnik
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