Archive - February, 2008

Bruce Willis, absent-minded parent

Ply Bruce Willis with enough drinks and he’ll soon let slip some deep and dark family secrets:

Bruce Willis screamed: “I have abandoned my son” in a trendy New York bar during a night out, it was claimed today. Onlookers said the Die Hard star – partying with an “exotic” girlfriend – turned heads with the outburst, a line from the Daniel Day-Lewis starring and Oscar-winning movie There Will Be Blood. An onlooker told a US newspaper: “Bruce was very merry and all of a sudden shouted at the top of his lungs, ‘I’ve abandoned my son!’ four times in a row.“It definitely made the room stop and stare.”

Bruce, 52, who has three daughters with ex-wife Demi Moore, then chatted up a couple by the bar and did shots with the bartender before leaving Manhattan hotspot Freeman’s on Monday night, it was reported.

Ah old age, the things it makes you forget – that strong-jawed Rumer is actually of the female persuasion and that salty grey convicts are generally not big fans of the law enforcement authorities.

I applaud the quality of your alcoholic beverages!

Who wore it better?

Good girl gone badBad girl gone mouldy

One invites you to stand under her umbrella, the other welcomes you to sit and bask in the shade of her wide bumbershoot.

Reader question: What do I wear with these shoes?

Dance in thy red shoes till thou art pale and cold!

Before I answer your question, I must commend you for taking the initiative to seek out clothes despite the stripperish nature of those shoes.  In order to avoid sending out mixed messages whatever’s up top needs to mirror the bottom, so in this case it needs to be sexy, strappy and va-va-voom red.  Lace is great for that feminine and flirty effect but make sure you wear a bra underneath – you don’t want to appear too available!

I will never stop dressing this way, unfortunately

Ayyyy! Pop quiz

Out for a romantic evening of sparring

The most obvious explanation for Paul Bettany’s choice of handwear is:
(a) so the wife has to deal with carrying all the keys
(b) in case Mike Tyson changes his mind about having Jamie Foxx play him and holds an impromptu casting call
(c) they don’t look nearly as awkward as oven mitts
(d) to fend off rabid female fans who are after this witty piece of eye candy

Bring me my codpiece, wife!

All is revealed!

Wino forever

As promised, here are the answers to Tuesday’s Puzzle corner:

1. Justin Timberlake (cross)
2. Megan Fox (quote from Shakespeare’s King Lear)
3. Christina Ricci (Aslan the lion)
4. Rose McGowan (Varga girl)
5. Pink (Oriental dragon)
6. David Beckham (VII and Roman phrase “Perfectio in Spiritu”)
7. Amy Winehouse (“Hello sailor”)
8. Nicole Richie (angel wings)
9. Robert Downey Jr (Suzie Q)
10. Ewan McGregor (heart and dagger with names of wife and daughters)

Well done to Jessica for a stupendously perfect score! Your intimate knowledge of famous people’s bare skin is simply awe-inspiring.  Thanks to everyone for playing and if you’re still hankering for more celebrity body ink have a go at People mag’s pop quiz

This just in from Paris Fashion Week

*scowl* *scowl*

The glower in her eyes says it all, really. Vive la designer aerobics apparel!

Janet Jackson, in need of reinvention

Janet Jackson’s latest offering “Discipline” hit the store shelves yesterday and reviews so far have been lukewarm to disappointing. “Janet Jackson’s hot and heavy act grows old” screams one critic’s headline while another says “…more proof that for Ms. Jackson, sex really doesn’t sell.

Looks like the whole sexy sexed-up sexual schtick is all played out for Janet. She needs to find fresh material that people want to listen and nod appreciatively to.  I for one would be open to a snappy up-tempo explanation about the pants & boots combo which do nothing for her legs, the many layers of topwear which do nothing for her neck, the hair which does nothing for her face and that girdle which is doing everything it can to stop all the other clothes from fleeing the scene.

Who did this to me??

From the mouths of celebrities

Christina Aguilera on the dangers of bouncy castles:

“We were jumping on one at a party, but someone landed on my neck and really hurt me.”

Unfortunately for that person, they had also hoped to land on something soft and bouncy.

Enough milk for a third world country

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