Dear Daniel Day Lewis
By PlumcakeDear Double D,
I love you. I know you dress like an anthropomorphized clown car, and your wife has committed the worst crimes against Lacroix I’ve ever seen (including a highly questionable pair of gingham shoes that I suspect started their lives as my meemaw’s formal potholders) but you are hot. DIRTY hot. And yeah you’re talented and possibly the only person alive who could have made James Fenimore Cooper interesting and that thing with Emma Thompson was really good too although I don’t remember much because I was in like, sixth grade when I saw it, but still, the important thing is that you –crazy-making brown boots and all– have been mama-smackingly gorgeous for pretty much as long as I’ve been alive and that’s gotta count for something.
Now quick, I have a bag full of shiny beads. Let me throw them at your demented (thought doubtlessly lovely) seagull of a wife and let’s have a quickie.
But first you have to take off your shoes.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:34 am
I have wanted him to find me ever since there was the Mochican movie of the gorgeous Native American men with the loin cloths. The brown shoes must be a designers lame attempt to match the discordant strip and button on the jacket. His wife used the hynotist’s whirling thing for the shoe which may explain his footwear faux pas. And we cannot even imagine the why of the red straps…not to mention the black artsy sunflower attachment to her chest area…
February 27th, 2008 at 5:22 am
I watched “Last of the Mohicans” for the first time when I was between the ages of 11 and 13, and I distinctly remember a funny feeling “down there” pretty much every time Daniel Day Lewis was on screen.
February 27th, 2008 at 8:53 am
I bet I could help knock down the wife… I’ll even let you go first. Yow. *fans self*
February 27th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Not to mention the fact that the fashion unconscious Mrs. looks like his sister. From the look of her, I could easily take her out. I do agree though that the shoes(his would have to go. Let the hair grow again & be a very mature Hawkeye, he’s still very hot.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:05 am
Seriously though…what’s with the hoop earrings in both ears? Both he and Colin Farrell were sporting that look.
If he would only lose the earrings I could hit that.
February 28th, 2008 at 10:41 am
The earring thing seems to be an Irish thing. Bono has it too. Which has nothing to do with the fact that I have enormous crushes on all of them.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
If only he weren’t so pretentious.
Didn’t he abandon his pregnant girlfriend to marry this woman?
February 28th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
The girlfriend he left to marry this one wasn’t pregnant.
I agree that he is pretentious, and maybe also kind of insane, but I can’t help but love him. DRAAAAINAGE.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Was reminded yesterday that in addition to his acting talents, he’s also an accomplished shoemaker.
Perhaps the crazy-making shoes were his own creation?
March 2nd, 2008 at 10:00 am
The chick he left for his wife (she is the daughter of Arthur Miller, who wrote “The Crucible” was Isabelle Adjani and she was pregnant (or had just had his baby) and she is utterly gorgeous (http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1271/642164850_e1e3097fdb_o.jpg) though possibly a bit wacky.