Yeah, yeah, I made a body fluid joke. Just thank your stars I had the good taste to edit the title. Originally it was going to be There’s Stumpthing About Heather.
From today’s Today in History compendium comes this factoid about Molly Ringwald reaching the 40 year old milestone. As you can see from the above photo, she has aged quite well - relative obscurity does wonders for the complexion! Her only vice seems to be an unhealthy fondness for tartan but really things could have ended up much worse for her. Instead of being an 80s It girl, she could have hit it big in the 90s instead.
This week’s theme - and it should come as no surprise to many of you who are enjoying the day off - is movie presidents great and not so great.
Closely examine the picture montage below and identify the actors who have played the Leader of the Free World. If you are so inclined and bursting with knowledge, you may name the movie as well. Answers to be put up on Wednesday morning.
Anyone who’s plaintively bemoaned the bitter cold this winter probably isn’t doing it right. By “it”, I mean the subtle art of layering - it can take several attempts but once perfected, there is every reason to parade around feeling warm and smug. See for yourself.
Seems like over there they’re taking a much more realistic approach to their designs. Isn’t it great you don’t have to be pin thin to wear this stuff?
That would be “Nottie” (AgentBedhead)
Yoko Ono lays the smackdown on a Lennon-grabber (Celebitchy)
Actually, we don’t like Lindsay Lohan most of the time (Yeeeeah)
The New York Celebrity Death Map (Gridskipper)
Bai Ling bailed (Defamer)
Hayden Christensen isn’t gay, he’s just emo (Gawker)
Scarlett Johansson is a Blind Melon fan. Natalie Portman, not so much (GoFugYourself)
Amy Winehouse covers her tits for once (CelebritySmack)
Ewan McGregor is the new Chris Crocker (GabbyBabble)
The Olsen Twins are a couple of bags (ImBringingBloggingBack)
Johnny Knoxville’s close call (GoneHollywood)
Nick Lachey shills blinged-out Hot Wheels (DailyStab)
Hilary Duff’s duff choice (HolyCandy)
Kate Moss, supermodel, crimefighter (HolyMoly)
Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard spend Valentine’s Day together (ImNotObsessed)
Billy Baldwin skips out on a lunch tab (Mollygood)
I am cougar: hear me roar (Cityrag)
Tom Cruise forces Katie Holmes to lose an “I” (ASocialitesLife)
Indy Fever begins! (EvilBeet)
Lily Allen is a 16-Hour Party Person (PerezHilton)
Boy Wonder no more: Chris O’Donnell is Man Wonderbread (Websters)
Janice Dickinson, you certainly make a compelling case for your own sensuality, posturing your body in ways that bely your seasoned age, like a siren luring shirtless and underwear-clad sailors to a model orgy:
Janice Dickinson, celebrating her 53rd birthday – and the wrap of the third season of the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency – at Central in Los Angeles. According to a partygoer, the reality star, who’s been known to fudge her age, had only 48 candles on her cake. Hmm… But that didn’t stop her from jumping up on a couch when everyone started singing “Happy Birthday,” imploring her guests, “Louder! I can’t hear you!”
On second thought I’ll just go back to admiring you from afar, where your lips are unable to engulf its prey whole.
Why look, Mariah’s back in business and her new album is cleverly titled E=MC2 , a possible shoutout to fellow genius Albert Einstein. What other breakthrough scientific theory can we glean from her the album’s first single, Touch My Body?
(a) the success of a new single is inversely proportional to the amount of photoshop used for its cover art
(b) a black hole is created when a massive star has collapsed into an extremely dense object
(c) the maximum weave a human being can wear is about 80% of body weight before the neck starts to give way
(d) pi is the ratio of the circumference of a wide-brimmed hat to the diameter of the breasts being covered by it
McDreamy and McSteamy Valentines cards 4 u! (Defamer)
Twisted celebrity Valentines (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)
Happy Singles Awareness Day! (Jezebel)
Happy National Impotence Day! (Fleshbot, site NSFW)
Slash’s son is a chip off the old testicle (AgentBedhead)
Valentine’s Day love sayings (Quotes)
Gay modern love stories (Gawker)
Send Lane Garrison a Valentine (CelebritySmack)
What Material is the Material Girl made of? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
Jennifer LOVE Hewitt is a flower girl (DailyStab)
Jane Fonda talks dirty (Celebrity Cowboy)
Is Katie Holmes carrying dodecatuplets? (ASocialitesLife)
Lindsay Lohan’s low-maintenance, love-ready ‘do (HolyCandy)
Kelly Osborne, ice queen (Dlisted)
The Beautiful People just want to look like… (CityRag)
For the sake of L.O.V.E. I am posting a Rumer Willis link (JustJared)
Jamie-Lynn Spears and her babydaddy still together at month 5 (ImNotObsessed)
Kirstie Alley’s body thetans cost her the Jenny Craig gig (Popbytes)
Mr. T pities the fool who’s gone all metrosexual this Valentine’s Day (HolyMoly)
Nelly Furtado may be sperminated (PerezHilton)
Today’s a good a day as any to dust off the old crystal ball and see what the future holds for celebrity coupledom. Here are my predictions - be aware that I don’t aim to shock, but to present entirely logical and wonderful possibilities.
Hunky Hollywood heartthrob approaching second mid-life crisis is looking for female with some meat on her bones. Church of Scientology seeks new high-profile convert. The rest, as they say, is history.
Have a great day, with much love and soft tender kisses from us at Ayyyy! And for those who are seeking an escape from the rampant materialism of this occasion, remember that the best present you can ever give your sweetheart is yourself!
Eugene, poodle, I know you are as crazy as a pillowcase of coke–remember Halloween a few years ago when it was you, me, the rest of Gogol Bordello, Francis from Throw Rag and two bottles of…I don’t know, something green? I do. Sorta. Mostly it comes back in flashes when I’m driving. ANYWAY the point is you’re a whackadoo. However, you’re a whackadoo with immense musical talent and a seriously bitchin’ mustache so I will just say this. I know what you have planned for that extremely um, anatomical vampire bat (REINDEER SKULL, GEEZE!-ed.) necklace.
And so does THE LORD.
