Powerful northerly gusts are expected to batter coastal areas and celebrity hotspots over the next few days. Celebrities are advised to stay indoors, secure all windows and doors, and carry a hairbrush at all times.

Following on from Nicole Kidman’s cover shoot for Harper’s Bazaar and Paris Hilton’s attempt to channel Marilyn Monroe, this week it is Lindsay Lohan’s turn to try and make us believe that she is her generation’s iconic blonde bombshell:

In the issue of New York magazine on sale Monday, the 21-year-old star of “Mean Girls” and “Freaky Friday” poses nude for photographer Bert Stern in a recreation of one of Monroe’s most famous photo shoots, done shortly before she died.

Stern photographed Monroe in 1962 at the Hotel Bel-Air in California, six weeks before she was found dead from an overdose of barbiturates. Those images for Vogue magazine feature Monroe in next to nothing, posing nude with some scarves and jewelry as her accessories and sipping champagne.

Stern recreated those images with Lohan this month, at the same hotel, with Lohan wearing a blond wig and not much else.

So now we have come full circle, completing at last the sullying of the Hollywood icon’s memory by the terrible trio of Paris, Lindsay and Britney.  Next up, Tara Reid as Grace Kelly and Andy Dick as Cary Grant!

The New York Post describes Nick Lachey, the smart-by-comparison former Mr Jessica Simpson, as posing with a $140,000 jeweled Hot Wheels Car, or, to use words his former missus would understand, “a choking hazard.”

The Divine Miss M rises from the dead, returns to play Vegas (disembedded)

These boobs were made for Walken (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan vs Marilyn Monroe: duelling nekkids (CelebritySmack)

Mr. Amy Winehouse OD’s in prison again (Celebitchy)

Joan Collins, home on the range (TheMeatScale)

Chez Suri: The TomKat love nest (Derober)

Heather Mills stands by her man, whether he likes it or not (Dlisted)

Aretha fails to get respect from PETA (Bossip)

Jake Gyllenhaal dumped Kirsten Dunst for being Drunkst (Yeeeeah)

Jakey gets a makeover (PopSugar)

Kathleen Turner made of stone, not romancing (HollywoodRag)

Russell Crowe cast in new Austin Powers flick? (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Lily Allen, stripper chauffeuse (ImNotObsessed)

Poll: Who’s the hottest American President? (HolyCandy)

Travis Barker dates up, Paris Hilton dates down (DailyStab)

Heath Ledger: Saint or Sinner?  (Defamer)

Do women want gossip that hates women? (Jezebel)

Celebrity toplessness reaches critical levels: McConaughey alert! (Gawker)

Yeah, yeah, I made a body fluid joke. Just thank your stars I had the good taste to edit the title. Originally it was going to be There’s Stumpthing About Heather.

From today’s Today in History compendium comes this factoid about Molly Ringwald reaching the 40 year old milestone.  As you can see from the above photo, she has aged quite well – relative obscurity does wonders for the complexion!  Her only vice seems to be an unhealthy fondness for tartan but really things could have ended up much worse for her.  Instead of being an 80s It girl, she could have hit it big in the 90s instead.

This week’s theme – and it should come as no surprise to many of you who are enjoying the day off – is movie presidents great and not so great.

Closely examine the picture montage below and identify the actors who have played the Leader of the Free World. If you are so inclined and bursting with knowledge, you may name the movie as well.  Answers to be put up on Wednesday morning.

Anyone who’s plaintively bemoaned the bitter cold this winter probably isn’t doing it right. By “it”, I mean the subtle art of layering – it can take several attempts but once perfected, there is every reason to parade around feeling warm and smug. See for yourself.