Ayyyy!

The Brangelina Wedding rumours: a timeline (Defamer)

But how is Jen taking it? (JustJared)

The Britney Spears wedding rumours (CelebritySmack)

Britney’s secret childhood, not-so-secret deflowering (Jezebel)

Robbie Williams won’t be checking into the Paris Hilton (AgentBedhead)

OJ Simpson’s girlfriend severely beaten: OJ to search for “the real beaters” (Celebitchy)

Max Liron Bratman gets his first magazine cover; his mother gets her first understated makeover (CelebrityBabySmack)

Courtney Love steals Christina Aguilera’s makeup, Frances Bean Cobain steals Courtney Love’s (HolyCandy)

And Rihanna was all, like, you di’int, and Jay-Z was all, like, oh yeah I DID and...(Bossip)

Uma Thurman is smoke-free, ready for spermination (ICYDK)

Win a date with Death (and Ted Nugent)! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Win a divorce for Valentine’s Day! (POTP)

British elegance: Lily Allen fists herself on her new tv show (Dlisted)

Dakota Fanning will not pull a Britney for art (EvilBeet)

Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal’s son arrested for DUI and drugs (BackseatCuddler)

Amy Winehouse tells a tale of two Blakes (CelebWarship)

Isla Fisher has definitely, maybe lost the baby weight (DailyStab)

Wendy seeks Peter Pan on the red carpet (GoFugYourself)

Katherine Heigl plays dress-up with medical personnel (ImNotObsessed)

Janice Dickenson gets a new face: Kimora Lee Simmons’! (PerezHilton)

Courney Cox has fallen and she can’t get up under the weight of those extensions (Websters)

Who wore it better, the Division Championships (SecondCityStyle)

What a sorry state of affairs! What has the world come to when Victoria Beckham has run out of new clothes and resorts to slavishly imitating the style of a lesser-known celebrity:

Victoria Beckham has committed the ultimate celebrity fashion crime - brazenly stealing another star’s look.

Posh Spice spent Friday night rubbing shoulders with Cruel Intentions star Selma Blair, who wore a striking black and silver confection, at a Marc Jacobs catwalk show in New York.

And if imitation really is the sincerest form of flattery, then the actress was surely delighted that just two days later, Posh was spotted at a party at the Maritime Hotel in exactly the same frock.

Somehow I think Selma is in a lot of pain right now. One can only imagine the horrible scene, realisation dawning on Selma’s frightened and pale face, as the covetous monster beside her ominously sharpens its nails against its stony palms in preparation for a voiceless and savage attack that will leave Selma a mangled mess but the dress beautifully intact.

One was briefly married to a busty PETA supporter, the other is constantly harried by bristly PETA supporters.

It was a delicate procedure, but we have managed to fuse the heads back with their bodies to bring you the answers to Monday’s Puzzle corner:
1. Debbie Gibson
2. L’il Kim
3. Nelly Furtado
4. Sheryl Crow
5. Teri Hatcher
6. Anthony Kiedis
7. Toni Braxton
8. Linda Ronstadt

Congratulations blaugrau for an incredible 7 out of 8!  We can only shake our heads in wonder at your music awards show aptitude.  Thanks for playing, everyone!

Celebrity pickup lines (Agentbedhead)

Reasons to hate American Idol (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Rickrolling the Church of Scientology (Gawker)

Britney Spears is the Pied Piper of North Hollywood (CeleBitchy)

Colour me shocked: Paris Hilton neglects her pussy (Dlisted)

Colin Farrell will be best man at his brother’s gay wedding (Gabsmash)

Violet Affleck pats the bunny (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Lenny Kravitz in the hospital (CelebritySmack)

Fergie may have a pea in the pod (HollywoodBackwash)

Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman will eat your soul (DailyStab)

Nelly Furtado loses at the Grammys (GoFugYourself)

Dita von Teese dates down. Like, Backstreet Boy down (EvilBeet)

Barron Hilton runs down a gas station attendant, gets DUI’ed (Defamer)

Night of the Creeps: Kanye at the Grammys (fourfour)

John Mayer not checking into the Paris Hilton (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse goes from soundstage to lockup (ImNotObsessed)

Angelina loses an Oscar (Mollygood)

Emma Watson picks up Kirsten Dunst’s sloppy seconds (JustJared)

Gary Coleman is off the market, ladies (PerezHilton)

Yes go ahead, chuckle away at your private little jokes while you still can, you feeble-fisted Oscar nominees.  But come World Beard and Moustache Championship time, we shall see who’ll have the last laugh!

Well well, what have we here? Emma Watson and a lad who can’t seem to close his mouth? And not just any lad, but unkempt 27-year old rocker Johnny Borrell:

Harry Potter starlet Emma Watson stepped out with a racy new look at a star-studded party last night, but it was her choice of companion that raised eyebrows as she left with Razorlight rocker Johnny Borrell.

The 17-year old actress, dressed in a tight-fitting nude-coloured strapless minidress, and a pair of platform heels, was seen spending time at the star-studded Vanity Fair and Burberry Portraits private view party in London with rocker Borrell.

Borrell’s ex-girlfriend Camilla Fayed was also at the event.

At 27, Borrell is nine years the ingenue’s senior. But judging by Emma’s new look, the young actress is keen to let the world know, that she is no longer just Harry Potter’s know-it-all sidekick.

The Razorlight frontman, split from Spider-Man actress Kirsten Dunst last year. She reportedly took the split badly and was recently admitted to rehab.

Mark my words, he and his red-carpet-ready cowboy boots are bad news so Emma had best keep her distance from this lank-haired lothario.  Remember how the last young lady who got involved with him sank into a bottomless taffeta pit of despair?

Have you ever looked at a word so long that it just doesn’t even look like a word anymore? I’ve just spent the past five minutes looking at the word “doily” and trying to figure out if it really is even a word. Doily, seriously, look at it. Doi Ly. There should be a Hong Kong Cinema actor named Doi Ly. See? I’m mesmerized. ALSO mesmerizing is this fishnet-cum-bordello-curtain smörgåsbord of crocheted crappery that is trying to murder beloved songstress Chaka Kahn.

First of all, damn. What on EARTH is happening here? It’s like that creepy wine dress put on a little Smokey and decided to make the ballgown with two backs with the cardigan my Aunt Nobby made me the second time she went to Betty Ford.

Prayers for Britney: a Social Movement (PrayersForBritney)

I’m stuck in rehab with Pat O’Brien (StuckInRehabWithPatO’Brien)

Paris Hilton hires the handicapped: colorblind Oompa-Loompa thanks her (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse, British-mawed no more (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity Rap Sheet (LiquidGeneration)

Failed murderess still taking shots at the victim 16 years later (CelebritySmack)

Rihanna in post-Grammy, pre-Afterparty car crash (Dlisted)

Princes William and Harry to bike across Africa (CelebrityRightpundit)

Frances Bean Cobain is pretty, not her parents (Celebwarship)

More than we really wanted to know about Heather Mills’s erogenous zones (Mollygood)

Gwyneth sez: Brooklyn is the new Malawi (Popsugar)

Sienna Miller got her driver’s license, needs new photo to go with her new face (ICYDK)

Owen Wilson needs another intervention to get him off Kate Hudson (CeleBitchy)

Nicholas Cage sues Peggy Sue! (DailyStab)

Katherine Heigl gets a mom-makeover (EvilBeet)

Charlotte Church is a Jedi Mistress (HolyMoly)

The Knowles sisters keep it real. Real bitchy (GoFugYourself)

Johnny Depp’s kids go to Disneyland (JustJared)

Playdate for Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie? (ImNotObsessed)

Engineering secrets of the rich and famous, starring Aretha Franklin (HolyCandy)

New Line stiffs the estate of JRR Tolkien (PerezHilton)

Jennifer Aniston is 39. But how does Angelina feel about that? (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Trent Reznor now twice as pretty (raincoaster)

Aside from her love of the lost art of letter writing (shown here shilling for Mont Blanc) she also enjoys gardening, horseback riding and gnawing the sweet virginal flesh off your young delicious babies.

Cher on her financial situation:

“Oh, I always think I’m going to be a bag lady,” she said. “When Sonny and I were really famous in the beginning, I remember going out and buying two electric frying pans. He said, ‘What are you doing with that?’ I went, ‘Well I’m just saving one in the box in case.’”

Well it seems that day may have finally arrived, and I hope you picked up some extra bin liners during your nightly forage just in case somebody decides to trip or stand all over your easily perforated train.

This week, let’s take a stroll through the annals of Grammy history and contemplate the more questionable fashion choices of past attendees. Your task is to figure out who would do such a thing to themselves. Answers to be put up on Wednesday morning.