Aha! There you are, Marisa Tomei. You can run but you can’t hide, even if it’s against the fakest red movie curtain you can find. But even though your shirtdress has become a swirling, pulsating moire that has jammed my brain signals, I must insist that you use whatever pulley systems you have under there to lower the offending fabric even more, lest we have to get the MPAA to slap a cautionary rating on you.
This week we pay homage to the Bard of Avon with the theme “Shakespeare in the movies.” Your task is identify the movies below and prove yourself to be a mental Colossus that doth bestride the narrow world.
Answers to be put up on Wednesday morning. In the meantime I will wait in my dark cavern with a bubbling cauldron at the ready.
This season, prepare to throw off the shackles of those boring proletarian overalls and slip into the sensual garb of a Communist concubine! Dissent will not tolerated, for fashion dictates it!
Mmmm, is everyone having to wipe the drool from the corners of their mouths? It’s certainly put me in the mood for some Supersize sushi and mutant marshmallows!
Heath Ledger Joker hype no joke (Defamer)
The Spitzer Scandal explained by a toddler (Gawker)
Scientology gets what it deserves: Pete Doherty (AgentBedhead)
Madonna knows her limits (GabbyBabble)
Jennifer Aniston’s publicist strikes again (DListed)
Lohan to murder a Manson movie (CelebritySmack)
Katie Holmes rolls like Lily Munster (Popsugar)
George Clooney’s girlfriend is a model of propriety at all times. KIDDING! (DailyStab)
Britney Spears no longer full of it (Yeeeeah)
Poison drummer poisonous, rapey (CelebWarship)
The Grande Dames of stage and screen make an appearance (EvilBeet)
One Year Ago Today: FedEx and Britney edition (ImBringingBloggingBack)
Oprah helps a girlfriend out (CircusHour)
Chris Crocker finds a new career as a Big Bird impersonator (Mollygood)
Britney to be saved by Lourdes? (Us)
JLo strangles babies? (Jossip)
Wichita, Kansas is not ready for Bruno (PerezHilton)
When you’re a tv star, there’s always someone around to say the bag was his, officer (TheSmokingGun)
What has brought on Paris Hilton’s sudden fascination with wide-eyed moppets?
(a) Seeking fresh blood to replenish her waning fanbase
(b) She’s on the campaign trail for the office of US Ambassador to that fabulous country of West Africa
(c) They are more articulate than chihuahuas and bite less than kinkajous
(d) If newborn pics are worth up to $10 million, imagine what the going rate for toddlers are!
One posed nude for Playboy, the other poses with a partially nude playtoy.
What hath JLo spawned? (Gawker)
Angelina’s big baby figure (Defamer)
Bats are full of protein and great for your hair (TressedOutCelebs)
America’s Next Top Recap (I’mBringingBloggingBack)
Celebrity syntho-schnozzes (Cityrag)
The sliding scale of celebrity integrity (AgentBedhead)
Spitzer’s other hooker (Celebitchy)
One more reason to love Johnny Depp (ImNotObsessed)
Is this Hillary Clinton’s greatest speech ev-ar? (Dlisted)
At LAST! A picture of Nicole Kidman looking bottom-heavy (CelebrityBabyScoop)
Beyonce’s little sister launches a hip-hop toy company (BlackCelebrityKids)
But…but…Madonna is not biodegradable! (JustJared)
What Amy Winehouse will look like in a month (CelebrityDirt)
Stick Insect vs the Prince of Darkness (CelebritySmack)
Introducing the Paris Hilton Clodhopper Pony (CircusHour)
Jack Nicholson’s topless photos (WebstersIsMyBitch)
Scariest celebrity faces: a surgeon’s opinion (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
She may enjoy the occasional traipse down Rodeo Drive to pick up diamond-encrusted accessories for her Jack Russell Terrier, but Mariah Carey reassures us that it’s still all about the music (and the tight mini skirts) rather than the money:
Mariah Carey has hit out at critics who accuse her of making music solely to enjoy the perks of fame - insisting she’s far more focused on releasing good tunes than banking multi-millions. The Hero hitmaker takes offence at suggestions she only makes records to fund her pampered lifestyle and is adamant she is not interested in the fame that comes with working in the music industry.
And Carey, 37, insists she is still as committed to her work now as she was at the beginning of her career.
She says, “I never really felt famous. I don’t do it just because I want to make money or I want to be famous. I need to make music.
“If I didn’t have this, I don’t know where I would be”.
Let’s take a stab at this. Without her artistic core, odds are she’d probably be (a) still married to Tommy Mottola, having provided a fertile vessel for his spawn, (b) standing on a heavily soiled red carpet in Times Square, and worst of all, (c) forced to wear something that requires the words ”shiny” and “long-crotched” to describe it.
Here are the answers to Tuesday’s puzzle corner:
1. Angie Dickinson (Sergeant Pepper Anderson in Police Woman)
2. Mariska Hargitay (Detective Olivia Benson in Law & Order: SVU)
3. Stephanie Zimbalist (Laura Holt in Remington Steele)
4. Heather Locklear (Officer Stacy Sheridan in TJ Hooker)
5. Tyne Daly & Sharon Gless (Cagney & Lacey)
6. Kyra Sedgwick (Deputy Police Chief Brenda Johnson in The Closer)
7. Jill Hennessy (Dr Jordan Cavanaugh in Crossing Jordan)
8. Marg Helgenberger (Catherine Willows in CSI)
9. Cybil Shepherd (Maddie Hayes in Moonlighting)
10. Kate Jackson (Sabrina Duncan in Charlie’s Angels)
Congratulations to Sarah J & Jailifer (although answering later, Jailifer did name the actress/tv character, not the tv show) for a splendid 8 out of 10. We fire a 21-gun salute in honour of your awesome sleuthing skills! A special mention also goes to Deborah for identifying the elusive no. 6. And raincoaster, please find it your heart to forgive me for not posting a more flattering picture of Angie Dickinson. If you see the only other pic I had of her, you will concede that I didn’t have much to work with. Take a gander at this, it’s like something Mischa Barton would wear (ok, maybe slightly better than that):
Manolo says, it is the movie event of 2008!
Jenna Bush O-Face (Webster’s)
20 most expensive celebrity divorces (CustomizedGirl)
Amy Winehouse is not exactly “clean, green power” (Yeeeeah)
Brad Pitt is not black enough! (PopOnThePop)
We have a Scientologist DOWN! Repeat: we have a Scientologist DOWN! (TheBlemish)
Former child star begins the long slide into bankruptcy, boozing, and B&E’s (AgentBedhead)
It’s La Pequeña’s world. We just live in it (Dlisted)
George Clooney keeps a lid on it (JustJared)
JC Chasez does not Chace Crawford (Mollygood)
Gold digger headed straight for the center of the Earth (DailyStab)
Win a date with Barack Obama! (Stereohyped)
Someone needs to tell Demi Moore it’s just a metaphor (ImNotObsessed)
Lucy Liu wants to be a WASP fashionista popsicle zombie (ICYDK)
Top Model walks? (Defamer)
Most historically inaccurate films (YahooMovies)
Robin Williams soon to be EX-Mrs.Doubtfire (ExtraTV)
Artificial Sweetener Valley High (Gawker)
Tom Cruise and John Travolta abducted by aliens! (CircusHour)
At American Idol, every moment is happy hour (GoFugYourself)
