Ayyyy!

One makes genuine shopping trips to Paris, the other stages shopping photo-ops with Paris.

Five fugliest celebabe magnets (Defamer)

I’d put Javier Bardem in that list. Am I alone? (Websters)

Amy Winehouse is shopping from that list (Celebitchy)

Gerard Butler plays rough with Jodie Foster (AgentBedhead)

Anonymous to Scientology: oh, it’s still on, bitches (Enturbulation)

Why is Sharon Stone wearing a maternity dress? (TheMeatScale)

The Lohan clan finally sours Popsugar’s sweetness (PopSugar)

Nicole Kidman lifts up her shirt. Did you ever think you’d read that? (Celebwarship)

Bai Ling cops one (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

The Pivert strikes again! (TheBlemish)

Girls Gone Wild porniste Joe Francis is going away for a looooong time (EvilBeet)

Vanity? Fair. Originality? Not so much (Mollygood)

Patrick Swayze smoked three packs a day? (PerezHilton)

Whoopi Goldberg says she owes the Oscar to Patrick Swayze (ImNotObsessed)

How about “No Entry in Rear?” (GoFugYourself)

Gene Simmons lectures Britney Spears (Celebritysmack)

Kelly Rowland does not understand the alphabet (CircusHour)

Some teenager you’ve never heard of declares she’s a virgin: no, it’s not closing time at TGIFriday’s, it’s a slow news day in Gossipland (DailyStab)

What is it about the Lohan sisters - Lindsay (21) and Ali (14) - that is causing them to age before our very eyes at a frighteningly rapid rate? Is it stress, cigarette toxins, or just plain old mutant genes?  Slow down girls, life isn’t a race to reach the retirement home of your dreams!

As we move in different rarefied social circles, I’d be hard pressed to tell you who this underdressed patron is. All I know is if that velour tracksuit top were any shorter, the Beverly Hills Women’s Club would totally have to reconsider their “Pants optional before 6pm” rule.

Patrick Swayze’s dismal diagnosis (Defamer)

The 5 best faces of Patrick Swayze in Ghost (BWE)

50 gayest songs of all time (SameSame)

Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz are dancing, but who’s the fool? (AgentBedhead)

Salma Hayek prefers boys. Sorry Penny! (Dlisted)

Catherine Zeta Jones has some body image issues (GabbyBabble)

Demi Moore allegedly does not? There’s no justice! (CelebritySmack)

Conflicted Matthew McConaughey designs the very t-shirts he spurns (E!)

The Amy Winehouse soap opera continues apace (Yeeeeah)

Mary-Kate Olsen better keep her monkey paws off mah mayun! (Star)

Daniel Radcliffe faces serious death threats, gets SAS guards (Celebitchy)

Shar Jackson sticks up for FedEx (Bossip)

The Anna Nicole Smith movie: words fail (JustJared)

Julia Roberts and Ozzy Osbourne? (Cityrag)

Smells like…Daddy’s concert! (CelebNewsWire)

Best comedy of the last 30 years is…a joke! (HolyMoly)

Lily Allen is hospitalized for depression (EvilBeet)

Ben Stiller is pumped, Robert Downey Jr is black. Huh? (DailyStab)

Sometimes you just have to wonder about these hard-living, out-of-control celebrity offspring. Sure, the bottle label says San Pellegrino but really, have you ever seen anyone needing to be carried away by their minder because they drank too much mineral water?

Kenny G on splitting with longtime record label Arista in order to explore new musical territory for his latest CD Rhythm & Romance:

“You’ve got to continually try to reinvent yourself.”

“I always thought that my music could have a little bit more rhythm and a little less ballads,” he added. “There’s a lot of really uptempo songs … and much more improvisation on this record … There’s more rhythm here than anything I’ve ever done but yet it’s still romantic.”

Not to mention, ditching the saxophone in favour of a meatier sounding instrument was also a master stroke of originality.

Keep your panties on ladies, here are the answers to Monday’s much pored over Puzzle corner:
1. Paul Walker
2. Ryan Reynolds
3. Hugh Jackman
4. Matthew McConaughey
5. Jake Gyllenhaal 
6. Usher
7. Chris Evans
8. Jack Black

Well done Cat, for a solid 4 out of 8, an inspiring effort in the face of adversity! An honourable mention also goes to Alex for picking out the more difficult ones.  Thanks for playing (or ogling as it were).  Below are some of your other celebrity guesses, purely for scientific comparison purposes of course.

Jessica Alba discovers esoteric French cuisine: the ham and cheese sandwich (Dlisted)

RIP Gary Gygax (TeenyManolo)

JLo and Marc Anthony are so over doing it (DailyStab)

Liev Schrieber is a sexy supervillain (Derober)

Rosie O’Donnell: a portrait of the artist as a pile of junk food (AgentBedhead)

Nicole beats Xtina in the Mommystakes (CelebritySmack)

Jessica Alba is turning into JLo: Oh No! (IBBB)

Paris Hilton’s Buddhist holy man is unholy sham (GoneHollywood)

Vanessa Hudgens gets her drink, arrest on (BackseatCuddler)

Madonna and Demi Moore’s Oscar party candids (Defamer)

20 stupidest faces of Patrick Swayze, and that’s some tough competition (BWE)

Jeremy Piven parties with geeks (Gawker)

Famous writers as children (SomethingAwful)

The Project Runway guide to New York (Gridskipper)

Celebrities without necks (Celebitchy)

Pete Doherty … nah, I can’t say THAT! (Celebwarship)

Mac Guy sez Charlie’s Angel smells heavenly (ImNotObsessed)

There IS no tomorrow for Paula Abdul (ICYDK)

Mary-Kate Olsen’s face approaching Joan Rivers territory (Cityrag)

KFed is fat. Word. The word is “Fat.” (Yeeeeah)

Jamie Lee Curtis is not afraid of Jason, not afraid of Freddy Krueger, and she’s sure as HELL not afraid of a little constipation (GlitteratiGossip)

John Krasinski: Hey. It’s…you. That comedian guy…D…D…something.

Dane Cook: I AM A LLAMA IN A UNITARD! POW!

John Krasomething: Yeah, that’s great. I look cute tonight. I’m fun! and Fearless, apparently.

Dane Cook: MY GRAMMA HAS A PURSEFUL OF SOUP!  BOOM!

John Kra..er….SMITH:  Mmm. I need a haircut though, don’t you think I need a haircut? I sort of feel like my hair should be in a John Hughes movie, mocking Molly Ringwald and doing blow off Demi Moore’s thighs.

Dane Cook: I ONCE LICKED A COW!

John Smith: Fantastic. Really. I mean it.

Oh the ignonimy of being Kate Moss! First demoted by Harper’s Bazaar, and now being bested by the younger, blonder (isn’t it always so?) Agyness Deyn:

AGYNESS DEYN has stolen Kate Moss’ crown - taking the top spot on Tatler’s Best Dressed list. Moss, who has topped the annual list for the past two years running, has slipped to second place, while model-of-the-moment Deyn has hit all the right sartorial notes. “Whether she’s sipping chai at the Russian Tea Rooms in Primrose Hill or kicking back at Henry Holland’s studio, she’s fash-fabulous… Rockin,” Tatler comments on Deyn’s look. But that’s not to say Moss is any less impressive. Citing the moment she tied up her floor-length vintage oyster gown at last year’s V&A Couture Gala to create a mini dress when it was damaged as “so effortlessly cool”, the Croyden-born supermodel’s own look remains “fashion nirvana”.

Take heart lovely Kate, and consider this as merely a temporary setback.  If my senses serve me right, your return to former glory is as easy as finding the right thrift shop to pillage.

Fans of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series are in for a treat when the Colour of Magic airs in Britain over Easter, featuring Sir David Jason, Sean Astin and a guest appearance by Jeremy Irons, no less:

Fans of iconic actor Jeremy Irons will be pleased to hear he has a perfect cameo role in the new Terry Pratchett TV adaptation.

The Oscar-winner, 59, will play The Patrician alongside Sir David Jason as ex-student wizard Rincewind in Sky One’s The Colour Of Magic, to be shown at Easter.

Speaking at the show’s star-studded premiere, author Terry Pratchett revealed he was very involved in the production and had even rewritten part of the script when he knew Jeremy, his “first choice” for the part, had got it.

“They phoned me to say who should play The Patrician and they chose the one I wanted. When I knew it was Jeremy, I changed the script because I knew how he would enunciate ‘now what should I do with you, you little scamp?’” he said.

Fans of The Simpsons however, will have to wait until a live action movie is planned before they can lobby for his casting in the all-important role of Ned Flanders.