Ayyyy!

Got a giant insect problem? There’s a much more fabulous solution than bug spray, and here’s how to achieve it!

Gwyneth Paltrow wears what the Manolo tells her to (JustJared)

Renee Zellweger, charter member, Starfuckers Incorporated (DailyStab)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck and My Little Pony: which one of these is slumming? (CandyKirby)

Shia LaBoeuf may or may not have gotten lucky(? if you call it that) (WendyWayrad)

John Cusack refers Paul Leydon to the hand (JeanJacketsBad)

Bloody Hell! Pete Doherty is insane (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

JLo goes all, like, Alpha Mommy on Nicole Richie (IBBB)

Adrien Brody is marrying retired Aunt Selma from Miami Beach? (ImNotObsessed)

Flat busted: Amy Winehouse arrested (People)

Ellen DeGeneris gently gyno-probes Ashlee Simpson (CelebritySmack)

Harrison Ford’s Brazilliant deforestation PSA/man-on-man chest waxing video (Defamer)

Celebrity cosmetic surgery slideshow (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Betty and Veronica: still best frenemies (CounterfeitChic)

Madonna is a natural beauty on “Today.” And what planet? (DListed)

Mariah Carey to turn Empire State Building gay (HollywoodRag)

Heidi Fleiss on her high horse again (WOWReport)

The happy(?) couple: Carmen Electra and Rock Himbo #3 pose for engagement pix (Websters)

Encounters with Seth Green (Mollygood)

Jonas Brothers kill and bury Elvis Costello, Johnny Cash’s musical cred (MTVBuzzworthy)

Clay Aiken thinks people from Omaha are stupid (EvilBeet)

Rachel Zoe is one cougar who never changes her spots (GoFugYourself)

Scientology teaches Katie Holmes to speak in tongues (CeleBitchy)

Scientology’s niece speaks! (AgentBedhead)

With all the breathless minute-by-minute coverage of Gwyneth Paltrow’s red-carpet heels, spare a thought for Michelle Monaghan and the Pac-man ghosts hanging around her ankles. She’s still a relative newbie at this game but given enough tabloid attention and designer freebies, she’ll be up to her ears in seven-inch Christian Louboutins in no time. And they might even fit properly too!

Sometimes there’s no knowing what will happen when you ask your overpriced hairstylist for ”a trim and some layers”. That’s when someone as understanding as Mary J Blige comes in handy - she’ll provide a comforting shoulder for you to cry on and better still, hide your mangled mane in.  See what a difference having a good friend makes!

It probably costs more than my rent, but something about Melora Hardin’s dress reminds me of a cat struggling to escape from the confines of a badly wrapped package.  Fortunately she’ll be able to blend into the background quite seamlessly when the dratted thing finally manages to burst through.

John Lennon Link Challenge!
Want in on the irregularly-run Link Challenge du jour?
Just start theme linking and don’t forget who luvs ya, Baby!

All They Need is Love? Nixon’s lawyer threatens Lennon’s widow (MovieCityIndie)

Taxman: Wesley Snipes faces three years in the pokey (Defamer)

Your Mother Should Know: Clay Aiken and Tyra Banks get physical on QVC (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Double Fantasy? Quentin Tarantino and Verne Troyer pimp it out (AgentBedhead)

How Do You Sleep? Tom Cruise to return to Oprah (ImNotObsessed)

Working Class Heroes, Public Enemies: Win a chance to work with Johnny Depp (CharityBuzz)

Woman: Sexiest stars (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Bigger than Jesus? Heidi Montag snubs the White House (CandyKirby)

Stand by Me? Whutchewtalkin’ ’bout, Willis? Gary Coleman to divorce (DListed)

Watching the Wheels Go By: Paris Hilton to be thrown off Good Charlotte tour? (HolyMoly)

Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band: Picture fun with celebrities (CelebritySmack)

Beautiful Boy? Jada Pinkett-Smith has a major mullet (Yeeeeah)

Jealous Guy: Patrick Dempsey checks out the competition (DailyStab)

Mother: Baby Mama premiere with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler (CeleBitchy)

Hello, Goodbye: Orlando Brown resurfaces after MIA scare (TheBlemish)

She Said She Said: Elliot Spitzer liked to play with toys is what she said! (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Flying: Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg in Amsterdam (CityRag)

The Fool on the Hill: homeless Congressman sleeps in bars? (Wonkette)

Amy Winehouse, I Want To Tell You you’re losing it (CelebWarship)

A Day In the Life of reality tv (Mollygood)

I Am the Walrus: World’s largest baby (PerezHilton)

One is an unusual bird, the other is a freakishly odd bride. 

Even though babies are the flavour of the season right now, don’t expect Mariah Carey to be daintily jumping on that particular bandwagon:

Her 40th birthday is approaching, but Carey told a reporter that she has no desire to have children. “It’s hard to have kids in this world,” she told the British version of OK! Magazine. “I don’t think I could properly educate a child right now. Maybe in the future, but I actually haven’t thought about it.”

Carey said having children would leave her feeling “violated… I know that’s a kind of weird thing to say, but that’s how I am.

“For now I enjoy my dog Jack’s company. It’s definitely because of childhood traumatic stuff. The whole not wanting to have a baby as a baby.”

Indeed, so serious is this lady about protecting the sanctity of her womb that she’s hired round the clock protection in the form of high-waisted shorts and an overzealous bodyguard.

The Good Soldier: Link challenge accepted (AgentBedhead)

NHL/Hollywood doppelgangers (Defamer)

Hey, big spender! TomKat blows $100,000 on Suri’s birthday party (GabbyBabble)

Smelling a trend: Julia Roberts is “naturally fragrant” (Ecorazzi)

Kelly Clarkson is a naturist (TheBlemish)

Paris Hilton doesn’t stay at the Moscow Hilton, got banned from Moscow Hyatt (TheRadReport)

Spears Family a living example of laissez-faire divinity (WendyWayrad)

A waiting world salivates: OJ Simpson vs Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice! (AgentBedhead)

Harriet Carter and the penis leaker? (IBBB)

Laurie Anderson finally makes an honest man of Lou Reed (CelebWarship)

Miley Cyrus, literatus? (People)

Will Ferrell still willing to work with children (DailyStab)

The Revenge of Grace Jones: hot male celebs who look like lesbians (CityRag)

That’s so Orlando Brown: star goes missing (BittenAndBound)

Also missing: Lake Bell’s neck (WebstersIsMyBitch)

MarkeyMarkMarkIII (ImNotObsessed)

Mariah Carey not a breeder: call from Alicia Keys on line #1? (CelebritySmack)

Elijah Wood in: Sex and the Spaghetti (CandyKirby)

Amy Winehouse is British youth’s top heroin heroine (NewMusicExpress)

Kumar goes to U Penn without Harold! (Celebitchy)

Rachel McAdams is a Genius Barfly (JustJared)

Michelle Williams is haunted by the ghost of Heath Ledger? (Mollygood)

American Idol, kiss, KISS (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Tila Tequila has a series and Paris Hilton doesn’t: justice? (Dlisted)

The development of Nicole Kidman’s baby bump was considered sufficiently important to warrant a UN press conference devoted to the subject. Which of the below represents the estimated birth size of baby Kidman-Urban?

Ah the life of a celebrity - one minute you’re enjoying a leisurely amble in downtown Manhattan, the next you’re being mistaken for a fire hydrant:

Hollywood actress NATALIE PORTMAN was left red-faced after a dog urinated on her in New York.
The star took a break from filming New York, I Love You to take her own dog for a walk in Lower Manhattan.
But as the 26-year-old was left shocked after a passer’s by dog stopped to urinate near her leg.
Onlookers tells British newspaper The Sun that Portman later laughed off the incident and continued with her romantic stroll with musician boyfriend Devendra Banhart, 26.

Evidently this dog must be another one of those moviegoers who were severely bothered by the historical inaccuracies of The Other Boleyn Girl.

Here are the answers to Monday’s puzzle corner:
1. Sarah Jessica Parker
2. Jennifer Lopez
3. Christina Aguilera
4. Mariah Carey
5. Britney Spears
6. Sean John (P. Diddy)
7. Gwen Stefani
8. David Beckham
9. Elizabeth Taylor
10. Paris Hilton

Congratulations to La Rêveuse for a perfect score, and kudos to Madam for getting the perfume names.  We prostate ourselves before your flawless command of celebrity-created scents.  As for the rest of you, do not despair that you were beaten so soundly.  Rest assured that Jean Reno understands and yes he still loves you: