Ayyyy!

The Celebrity Bare-Baby-Bump-Belly Club (Defamer)

Madonna steelz frum Liza (Lolebrity)

Kate Moss adjusts her high beams (AgentBedhead)

Former singer Aguilera discusses her greatest assets (GabbyBabble)

Demon-haunted Amy Winehouse needs some exorcise (FemaleFirst)

Naomi Campbell, serial cellphone assaulter, dates up: a con artist (UKPopsugar)

Do they have an alibi for when Harrison Ford’s camera was stolen? (DailyStab)

Shania and the Other Woman (CelebritySmack)

Kim Kardashian, dissected (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The first rule of shopping for TomKat is, you don’t talk about shopping for TomKat…or you get a C&D (CeleBitchy)

Angelina plans to tip the nurses well: $20 million for birthing expenses (Life&Style)

Do you doubt I am rich? (raincoaster)

Keanu romance is a Wino-no (OK)

Newest Teletubbie discovered outside London pub (ImNotObsessed)

Natalie Portman would look good wearing used Kleenex, and here’s the proof (CandyKirby)

Josh Groban is into bears (SeriouslyOMG)

The Return of FedEx! (POTP)

Jennifer Aniston’s wedding pix (IBBB)

Sharon Stone proudly flies the cougar flag (DListed)

Simon Cowell apologizes. Yes, you read that right (BittenAndBound)

That’s hot! Paris Hilton as an Old (EvilBeet)

Britney’s big Vegas comeback possiblymaybe? (ShowbizSpy)

Nick Hogan not enjoying incarceration as much as he thought (Mollygood)

Sometimes it’s the simple pleasures in life that bring us the most joy. See if you can match Madonna’s facial expressions in pictures 1-5 to the intense emotions below.

a. Guess who’s standing next to me?!? SHARON STONE!!!! Standing next to me!!!!
b. Guess who’s standing next to SHARON STONE??!? Me!!! Standing next to SHARON STONE!!!
c. Hey you paparazzi! Take a photo of me standing with SHARON STONE!!! That’s right, SHARON STONE!!!
d. Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah! I get to stand with SHARON STO-ONE! Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah!
e. Dude, don’t judge me by my current companion. I’ve stood next to SHARON STONE you know!!!

Above: Grant Show, former resident stud of Melrose Place
Below: Jack Davenport, ex-Commodore of the HMS Dauntless, seeker of the Dead Man’s Chest and Admiral of the East India Trading Company

What a difference a misplaced clump of hair makes! Let’s hope their new show does sufficiently well in the ratings to justify a hairpiece budget.  Some things are best left behind on the set when the cameras stop rolling, don’t you think?

Phoebie Price: Cannesed Chikkin Cutletz (Lolebrity)

Claymates are a different breed (Mollygood)

Nicole Kidman is barefoot and pregnant and nude and on the cover (JustJared)

Martha Stewart’s double entendre (Websters)

Diddy’s duds do a dong good(YBF)

Prop-powered penis protest (HolyMoly)

Lily Allen’s zipper problem (SeriouslyOMG)

The Butterscotch Stallion rides again! (POTP)

Jennifer Aniston, defying all odds, turns into girl you’d take home to mom (ICYDK)

Scientology is a cult, and saying so can get you arrested (AgentBedhead)

Madonna apparently stealing Liza Minnelli’s old clothes (ImNotObsessed)

Top 50 Man Candy! (OK!)

Emos Unite! My Chemical Romance protest! (DailyStab)

The crazy cat lady recommends… (IBBB)

Pete Doherty makes the cover: of Celebrity Drugs and Alcohol Weekly! (CandyKirby)

Founder of NKOTB and Backstreet Boys gets 25 years (GabbyBabble)

Steven Tyler is back in rehab (CelebritySmack)

25 funniest people in the US (EW)

25 least funny people in the US (Defamer)

Jodie Foster opens a new can of…no, I can’t finish that joke. I have STANDARDS! (DListed)

Conservation International and Harrison Ford have banded together to deliver a compelling public message - if you want Harrison Ford to stop inflicting excruciating pain on himself, then please consider saving the rainforests: 

Harrison Ford pulled a Steve Carell for a public service announcement: He gets his chest waxed. The 65-year-old star winces in apparent pain as a strip of hair is yanked from between his pecs for a PSA for Conservation International to raise awareness about the effect of deforestation on global warming.

The actor, who doesn’t typically appear in such TV spots, sits on the board of directors of the Washington-based environmental organization.

Conservation International CEO Peter Seligmann said Ford was game to do the 30-second spot, and approved of the waxing concept.

“I didn’t have to talk him into anything,” Seligmann said at a news conference Tuesday in Manhattan. “I was there when he filmed it. It really hurt. There’s nothing about the expression on his face that was fake.”

The classic scene from 2005’s “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” — in which Carell screams out “Kelly Clarkson!” during his chest hair removal — was intentionally hilarious. Ford’s message, however, is serious: “Every bit of rain forest that gets ripped out over there, really hurts us over here.”

It’s a clever idea but given the enormity of the problem, let’s up the ante and really give people something to remember shall we? I’m thinking a bucket of hot wax and Andy Garcia’s lush manjungle ought to do the trick.

Thank goodness Fergie decided to take matters into her own hands and do the difficult work for all you uptight parents!  Think of all the awkward conversations you no longer need to have with the kids, now that she’s thoroughly demonstrated how to break in their first pair of leather pants.

Here are the answers to Monday’s puzzle corner:
1. Napoleon Dynamite
2. Back to the Future
3. Footloose
4. Carrie
5. Pretty in Pink
6. Peggy Sue Got Married
7. Grease
8. Never Been Kissed
9. Valley Girl
10. Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion

Congratulations to miss dove for a perfect score, followed closely by Pencils and Jennie.  We reverentially place the crown on your head and unanimously hail the Prom Movie Queen!  Now, just sit back on your confetti-strewn throne and enjoy the highly synchronised prom dancing from She’s All That: 

Shia LaBeouf and Karen Allen: cannes i hav dis danse? (Lolebrity)

Anyone can become President: even Tom Cruise! (AgentBedhead)

Angelina Jolie mistakes own vagina for clown car (DailyStab)

Putting the “ass” in “class:” Sharon Osbourne to teach Charm School (CelebritySmack)

Class and self-confidence by Ann Landers (Famous People)

Nice day for a white wedding, Jessica Alba (People)

Cameron sez sex is the best! (ImNotObsessed)

Headline of the Day! (CandyKirby)

Live a stress-free life with Heather Mills! (CeleBitchy)

Jessica Alba’s shotgun wedding (PerezHilton)

Who Dat? (Mollygood)

Eric Dane is the new Jude Law (JustJared)

The Pivert Babemobile (Defamer)

Emily Gould, a person of whom you’ve never heard, overshares (Gawker)

Upon historical reflection, I concede that it is only fitting to pay tribute to the ancient Greeks and Romans who first breathed life into the Cannes party scene, when it was just a humble fishing village.  Boy they sure knew how to throw a celebration. Back then, you didn’t even need to be invited aboard Diddy’s luxurious pleasure craft in order to have a proper bacchanalian bash.

I would gladly eat one of their fatted livers seared on a bed of Swiss chard.  Guess which one? Not that one.

It’s a Desperate Housewife vs The Trumpster’s ex-wife! But both have been lucky in love lately - one marrying her French loverboy, the other making an honest man out of her Italian toyboy.

Link Challenge: Animal Magnetism

Victory for Narnia! (BuzzSugar)

Jack Black’s Pandamonium (Lolebrity)

Carrie Underwood executes tricky reverse camel toe with half-revolution (IBBB)

Party animal Paula Abdul celebrates Sober Day (SeriouslyOMG)

Gwyneth Paltrow, Joaquin Phoenix and the Brain-Eating Frogs (CandyKirby)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty and other beautiful, unhousebroken creatures (GabbyBabble)

A lion protects her cubs: a Lohan, on the other hand… (CeleBitchy)

Kitlers vs Uwe Boll (AgentBedhead)

Megan Fox flips for Peter Fox (CelebritySmack)

Guess who’s prehensile claws these are! (Bastardly)

Lindsay Lohan’s minkgate continues (EvilBeet)

Bunnies on the Loose! (DailyStab)

Secretariat in Paris (ImNotObsessed)

John Mayer also horse-like, but not horsey (CelebSlam)

Hello Kitty appointed Japanese ambassador to the world (DListed)

Sexiest Male Vegetarians…could use some meat (Defamer)

Nicole Kidman visibly carrying passenger (Mollygood)