Ayyyy!

Jack Black’s talkin’ smack ’bout Angelina’s twin pack (POTP)

Celebrate National Dance Like a Chicken Day! (CandyKirby)

Jack Black in Disco Panda-Fu Attack! (Defamer)

Top Ten TV Meltdowns (Gawker)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty star in Dancing With The Has-Beens! (DailyStab)

Britney does Da Bump (IBBB)

Colin Farrell in Mars Attacks! (CelebritySmack)

Comrade Christie Brinkley Leads Dance Dance Revolution (Gabsmash)

Jim Rockford won’t let a minor stroke keep him down! (Bumpshack)

Miley Cyrus will drink your milkshake, fail to shake skanky image (Websters)

Diddy drinks down. Waaaaaaay down (EvilBeet)

The curse of going public: Jodie Foster splits with Cydney (GabbyBabble)

George Clooney settles for scorpion’s sloppy seconds (ImNotObsessed)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty to perform duet of death (CeleBitchy)

Sir Paul McCartney has environmentally-sensitive car flown in from Japan (HuffPo)

Maxim’s minimal-impact hottie list (AgentBedhead)

Ladies, ladies, don’t believe all you hear about the worldwide shortage of fabric.  It’s just a myth concocted by the evil fashion industry to justify producing half a dress at twice the cost.  Now you know the truth, don’t be afraid to exercise your rights to a demure garment.  And if you’re ever in need of some cloth, I’m sure Janet Jackson will be only too happy to lend you a yard or two.

Here are the answers to Monday’s puzzle corner:
1. Eva Longoria (5 carat emerald-cut, 248-diamond white-gold ring designed by Jean Dousset, estimated cost $500K)
2. Katie Holmes (5 carat oval-shaped diamond set in platinum and rose gold)
3. Mariah Carey (17 carat emerald-cut, fancy light pink diamond (10 carat) surrounded by 58 intense pink diamonds, flanked by two half-moon diamonds from Jacob & Co, cost $2.5 million)
4. Christina Aguilera (5 carat platinum ring set with a combination of brilliant & princess-cut diamonds from Stephen Webster, estimated cost $80K)
5. Catherine Zeta-Jones (10 carat marquise diamond from Fred Leighton, cost $1 million)
6. Heidi Klum (10 carat canary yellow oval diamond, estimated cost $150,000)
7. Jennifer Lopez (14.5 carat blue brilliant cut diamond with platinum band, estimated cost over $5 million)
8. Katherine Heigl (3 carat pear shaped diamond with pave diamonds, designed by Ryan Ryan)
9. Elizabeth Taylor (33.19 carat Krupp diamond, cost $305,000 in 1968, at the time the highest price paid at auction for a diamond ring)
10. Scarlett Johansson ( 3 carat round brilliant solitaire on an intertwined yellow gold band, estimated cost $30K)

Congratulations to Madam for an impressively sparkling 7 out of 10, followed closely by the always scintillating Jennie. Your encyclopedic knowledge of celebrity carats bedazzles us even from afar. For more famous bling than you can poke a pimp stick at, check out this slideshow from US Weekly.

Tori Spelling on her preferred casting for the 90210 remake:

“I would play the sexy MILF, obviously.”

There she goes again, hogging all the good stuff! Everyone knows the best roles are those that involve lots of poolside action!

Hollywood’s worst beards (Defamer)

Captain James Tiberius Kirk will have none of your alien perversions, New Yorker! (Gawker)

You never live down the O-face (HearThis)

Happy Mothers Day from LeBron James (WithMalice)

Mr Big for sale, asks no inconvenient questions (AgentBedhead)

Vanessa Williams, BA (BlackCelebrityKids)

Hugh Hefner is a confirmed bachelor (DailyStab)

Famke Janssen is no breeder (ImNotObsessed)

Momentarily straight Drew Barrymore will hunt you down (ICYDK)

Maddox Jolie-Pitt is a swinger! (JustJared)

Sex and the Philip Treacy (GoFugYourself)

The mother of all power breeders strikes again: Britney pregnant? (CeleBitchy)

Colin Farrell, notch in Britney’s unchastity belt: hot or not? (UKPopSugar)

R Kelly (”The Defendant”) can dish it out but not take it (Bossip)

Clay Straitken haiku (Mollygood)

Isaiah Washington awfully princessy for straight man (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Tila Tequila, early bird AND worm (CelebritySmack)

Don’t you hate it when you’ve spent a whole afternoon trying to clobber together your most eyecatching combination of accessories, only to be outdone by the hat that ate Leicester Square?

Angelina’s family goes Goth for Mother’s Day (BlackCelebrityKids)

Jack White, rock god, superhero (AgentBedhead)

Suri Cruise and Brooklyn Beckham sitting in a tree… (Defamer)

Hip Hop outings: not exactly a trip to Radio City Music Hall (Gawker)

Ben- does not blame -nifer any longer (SeriouslyOMG)

Anna Wintour in couture Cthulhu (POTO)

Madonna is a diva? PERISH THE THOUGHT! (DailyStab)

Busted! Slutty prom dress brings arrest from the (fashion) police (CelebritySmack)

Happy Mother’s Day to two of Hollywood’s finest (CandyKirby)

Hayden Panettiere happy to play for the other team (ImNotObsessed)

Wino of the Woods (DListed)

Kiefer cuffed! (JustJared)

Jenna Bush’s wedding photos (CeleBitchy)

Brad Pitt’s new body art (SplashNews)

Retouch My Body: the video! (PerezHilton)

Winehouse walks the streets (Mollygood)

This is a good question because it shows that you are thinking properly about your priorities.  I consulted with the “popular” group and the answer equivocally has to do with the way you dress.  Clearly you are not wearing enough tight vinyl or push-up bras or exposing enough flesh of the tanned and toned variety.  You also need to show people who much you want to be liked.  Is it practically begging if you turn yourself into a human billboard with neon signs declaring “Like Me” plastered all over your skimpy bits of scantiness? Of course, and boys love that sort of thing!

Oh, and it’s also not a bad idea to grab a couple of similarly attractive friends and form an impromptu girl band.  The name “Girlicious” is already taken but at last count “Chickatease” and “Femptation” were still available.

Is Buzz Aldrin the guy who punched that journalist for saying the moon landing was a hoax? I kinda think it was. That’s a lot of anger for a dude whose name is an onomatopoeia, but I guess that’s what you get for going through life being Neil Armstrong’s superterrestrial wingman. I get it. I also like his Grandpa Munster suit.

Anyway, because I don’t want to be the first blogger to get smacked up by a guy with a moon crater named after him, I will merely post this picture of Buzz Aldrin and his lovely, totally appropriately dressed wife Lois who is not in ANY WAY terrifying me with the evil grin and the illusion netting and the shadow that PLEASE GOD is just the draping of fabric on her thigh.

Welcome to the “Diamonds, especially big ones, are a girl’s best friend” edition of Ayyyy! Puzzle Corner.  This week we invite you to take out your jewellery loupe and cast a discerning eye over the shiny objects below. Your task is to identify which celebrities these whopping rocks belong to. 

Answers will be put up on Wednesday morning. Meanwhile, I’ll be adorning myself with bits of glass and paste and getting distracted by their sparkly prettiness. 

Happy Mother’s Day to all our dear readers! Sometimes living up to the standards set by Dina Lohan can be inordinately tiring, so we hope you and your moms have a wonderfully restful and enjoyable day today.

Which of the above appeals to your innate sense of style more? From this simple test alone, we can determine whether you forge new paths in fashion trends or are content to be one of the herd!