Some call it sadistic abuse but Hollywood prefers to think of it as the ritual hazing one has to undergo to become an A-lister like Charlize or Will. OK so Jason Bateman probably won’t be able to sit down for a month afterwards, but it’ll all be worth it when he finally makes it into that hallowed group of thespians.
This week’s puzzle corner is dedicated to anyone who’s ever wanted to be whisked away in a horse-drawn carriage by their Prince Charming to a five-star castle with all the mod-cons, where you would both live happily ever after, doing meaningful charity work and each other on a regular basis.
Now that we’re done with daydreaming, we invite you to straighten up your tiara and identify the movie princesses below. Who are these noblewomen who have lit up the screens with their radiant and fair presence?
Answers will be put up on Wednesday morning. In the meantime I will be twirling about in my pretty cape and enticing those simple woodland creatures to do my bidding.
I say the bigger the better! It’ll make your enemies quake with fear and give you that much more personal space during the daily commute. Just turn sideways before going through any doorways and you’ll be fine.
Forget about shoes, handbags, even jewelry - it’s time to make your man your most colourful accessory!
Colin Farrell has banger, needs mash (Lolebrity)
Russell Simmons’ child support just got a little pricier (BlackCelebrityKids)
The quiet, dignified world of competitive athletics gets a new hero (AgentBedhead)
Six Hollywood secrets (Derober)
The Stars of 1993 (CelebritySmack)
Uma off the market (People)
Lilo’s secret sister (DailyStab)
Nicole Richie to write a cookbook (OK)
Sarah Larson (remember her?) stiffs staff (CeleBitchy)
Mini-Me’s sex tape partner is mad (WWTDD)
Hugh Jackman is…hmmmm…wha?…was I saying something? (CityRag)
Celebrity Ego Chart Fun! (EvilBeet)
Matthew McConaughey shouldn’t rely on the kindness of strangers (PopSugar)
Charlize Theron fears the blogs! (ImNotObsessed)
Dmitiri the phone-stalker stalked! (DListed)
The Mary-Kate/Spencer feud (Defamer)
Paris Hilton’s lost twin found! (CandyKirby)
Emile Hirsch rocks the Rimbaud look (JustJared)
Hawt or Nawt: Young John McCain (Raincoaster)
If you only commit to two things this season, make these looks your fashion mantra for they will serve you well across the span of an entire day. Not to confuse matters but you’ll find that the day look also works at bedtime and the evening look is also appropriate for the daytime if dark sorcery is involved.
Here’s a challenge for those who think they know how to pick fresh produce - I have it on good authority that one of the above is far less juicy than the rest. Without having sampled the wares, can you possibly guess which one it is?
Whatever the naysayers may naysay about, it is obvious that a romantic getaway has stoked the fires of passion once again and all is well in Longoria-Parkerland. From this alone, we can deduce that Florence is the city of:
(a) sights so glorious they will bring tears of wonder to your eyes and infinite bliss to your heart
(b) unforgettably sensual and life-changing experiences
(c) grand love stories set against a tableau of rich, vivid cultural tradition
(d) perfectly staged photo ops
Matt Damon ar Canoodlian? (Lolebrity)
Brit Naomi Campbell represents Africa (AgentBedhead)
Mary-Kate Olsen brings, wears, the kimono and kiltie-based Wackness (CelebritySmack)
Brangelina donates $1million to help children of war (Websters)
Amy Winehouse downsizes the party (DListed)
Sigourney in space? (DailyStab)
Ben Affleck talks about the Congo (ImNotObsessed)
Barack Obama loses the bimbo vote! (CandyKirby)
Cruise Beckham (CelebDirtyLaundry)
GyllenSpooning (JustJared)
Five dumbest reality show gimmicks (Mollygood)
Gayest movie robots (Radar)
Prince Harry, rump roast inspector (UKPopsugar)
Mario Lopez ChestHairGate! (Defamer)
Tim McGraw boots an attacker (CeleBitchy)
I didn’t know Ashanti was in Ice Capades (GoFugYourself)
Oprah’s is the biggest I’ve ever seen! (CrunkAndDisorderly)
Kanye’s mother’s Doctor Death no longer Doctor, DUI’d for good measure (PerezHilton)
Well, what do you know? You CAN be too thin! (ParkAvenuePeerage)
For some ladies it seems, the grand occasion of Nelson Mandela’s 90th birthday is really no different to an overnight affair at the Playboy Mansion.
Oh the things actors put themselves through in pursuit of their craft. Just as Charlize Theron decimated her eyebrows for Monster and Javier Bardem stolidly accepted his bad haircut for No Country for Old Men so Matt Damon will be enduring endless “washed up 70s porn star” jibes for his latest movie. There better be an Oscar in it for him, if only to commemorate the passing of his abs.
Hoo hyerd Amy Winehouse 4 “babbysittur?” (Lolebrity)
Matt Damon = “Ned Flanders?” Must be seen to be believed! (Websters)
Britney looks, behaves, “almost” like a normal person (ASL)
“It’s SIR Salman to you biotches now!” (WizbangPop)
“Teh gheys” are hot for Frodo (Radar)
Is Colin Farrell Minnie Driver’s “babydaddy?” (CeleBitchy)
Justin Timberlake neglects hygene “down below” (UKPopsugar)
Sean Avery learns why they call it a “promotion” (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
Brooke Hogan’s butt is “an old car” (CelebritySmack)
File under “no surprise:” Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen kids are in therapy (ImNotObsessed)
Solange looks “interesting” don’t you think? (CandyKirby)
“The Hoff” is hurting! (DailyStab)
“Mulder and Scully” smack down the lone remaining G&R fan (AgentBedhead)
“Rumble” in Malibu II! (Defamer)
Sherri Sheppard is a “big” fan of Chippendales (Crunk+Disorderly)
Drew Lachey is a “Patsy” (JustJared)
