Matt Damon ar Canoodlian? (Lolebrity)

Brit Naomi Campbell represents Africa (AgentBedhead)

Mary-Kate Olsen brings, wears, the kimono and kiltie-based Wackness (CelebritySmack)

Brangelina donates $1million to help children of war (Websters)

Amy Winehouse downsizes the party (DListed)

Sigourney in space? (DailyStab)

Ben Affleck talks about the Congo (ImNotObsessed)

Barack Obama loses the bimbo vote! (CandyKirby)

Cruise Beckham (CelebDirtyLaundry)

GyllenSpooning (JustJared)

Five dumbest reality show gimmicks (Mollygood)

Gayest movie robots (Radar)

Prince Harry, rump roast inspector (UKPopsugar)

Mario Lopez ChestHairGate! (Defamer)

Tim McGraw boots an attacker (CeleBitchy)

I didn’t know Ashanti was in Ice Capades (GoFugYourself)

Oprah’s is the biggest I’ve ever seen! (CrunkAndDisorderly)

Kanye’s mother’s Doctor Death no longer Doctor, DUI’d for good measure (PerezHilton)

Well, what do you know? You CAN be too thin! (ParkAvenuePeerage)

For some ladies it seems, the grand occasion of Nelson Mandela’s 90th birthday is really no different to an overnight affair at the Playboy Mansion.

Oh the things actors put themselves through in pursuit of their craft. Just as Charlize Theron decimated her eyebrows for Monster and Javier Bardem stolidly accepted his bad haircut for No Country for Old Men so Matt Damon will be enduring endless “washed up 70s porn star” jibes for his latest movie.  There better be an Oscar in it for him, if only to commemorate the passing of his abs.

Hoo hyerd Amy Winehouse 4 “babbysittur?” (Lolebrity)

Matt Damon = “Ned Flanders?” Must be seen to be believed! (Websters)

Britney looks, behaves, “almost” like a normal person (ASL)

“It’s SIR Salman to you biotches now!” (WizbangPop)

“Teh gheys” are hot for Frodo (Radar)

Is Colin Farrell Minnie Driver’s “babydaddy?” (CeleBitchy)

Justin Timberlake neglects hygene “down below” (UKPopsugar)

Sean Avery learns why they call it a “promotion” (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Brooke Hogan’s butt is “an old car” (CelebritySmack)

File under “no surprise:” Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen kids are in therapy (ImNotObsessed)

Solange looks “interesting” don’t you think? (CandyKirby)

“The Hoff” is hurting! (DailyStab)

“Mulder and Scully” smack down the lone remaining G&R fan (AgentBedhead)

“Rumble” in Malibu II! (Defamer)

Sherri Sheppard is a “big” fan of Chippendales (Crunk+Disorderly)

Drew Lachey is a “Patsy” (JustJared)

Be honest now, what do you think of Miss USA’s chances in this year’s contest? I really don’t think her heart is in it – her costume suggests that she would much rather be participating in something way more prestigious and well-loved, like a Victoria’s Secret fashion show. 

Happy Birthday Solange Knowles! You’re certainly looking…radiant.  What’s that you say? Your mother and sister picked out your birthday outfit? In that specific colour? Ah, the shoes as well! They also did your hair and nails, you say? And even made sure not to outshine you by wearing drab ill-fitting clothes? I see.  Have you thought about running away and joining a pack of hyenas?  They would make much more trustworthy family members you know.

Here are the answers to Monday’s puzzle corner:
1. Chris Martin (with his bare hands)
2. Hugh Grant (with lethal tub of baked beans)
3. Kate Moss (with super karate death kick)
4. Britney Spears (with umbrella of vengeance)
5. Jessica Biel (with umbrella of wrath)
6. Justin Timberlake (defending Cameron Diaz’s honour with a smouldering glare)
7. Pete Doherty (with a coked-up guitar)
8. Seal (protecting pregnant Heidi with an expert chokehold)
9. Ryan Philippe (with a half-eaten burger)
10. Sienna Miller (with flying hair and an all-powerful sideswipe)

Congratulations to blaugrau for a masterful 7 out of 10!  We are duly impressed by your mad deductive skills in relation to paparazzi smackdowns.  As your reward you may enjoy this classic footage of Bjork at Bangkok Airport and thank the heavens above you haven’t gotten on her wrong side (yet).

Buy-buy, Guy and Alliteration Challenge! (CelebritySmack)

Vader parader (Lolebrity)

David Hasselhoff is the King of the Internets! (AgentBedhead)

Colin Farrell could use some mash with that banger (Derober)

Corey HaimFeldman not feltup by MJ (CeleBitchy)

Boris Becker breeds with Barbara (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Locklear locked up (SeriouslyOMG)

Phoebie Price’s puckered posterior (DListed)

Ben has Boston on the brain, Hawaii in his heart (PopSugar)

World’s worst winner (Mollygood)

Efron fragrant sez friend (ImNotObsessed)

Nixon nixes bigger boobs (POTP)

Brendan balding (Websters)

Alicia Silverstone’s fart-free fidos (AllieIsWired)

Sienna Miller forced to sport falsies (GabbyBabble)

Snoop Dogg goes after country (DailyStab)

Jack Bauer for twenty-two hours (Defamer)

Four more 4/4′s! (FourFour)

What, Watts? (CandyKirby)

Heidi, ho (IBBB)

Bundchen brings back Brazil (JustJared)