Ayyyy! Pop quiz
By Spirit Fingers
Match the pictures above to these descriptions of Gwyneth Paltrow’s sentiments:
(a) tight-lipped disapproval of collagen use and big fancy Indian weddings
(b) smug in the knowledge that straight blonde locks reminiscent of spun gold are far superior to curly brunette hair
(c) mild disgust at having to jostle for shoulder space with someone who hasn’t won an Oscar
(d) condescension towards mothers whose children aren’t that interested in fashion
And when you’ve finished with that, see if you can figure out from below who is less than thrilled to be sharing the limelight with a bunch of minor talents.
July 10th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
I am SO much better than you, all of you.
I am FAR superior to everyone. Don’t ever forget that.
I don’t even knw why I am communicating with any of you; you are so far beneath me.
Signed,
Gwynyth Pyltryw
July 11th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Just in case too many people download hubby’s new CD illegally, Estee’s money will spend just fine. It was so worth honing my acting skills to participate in events like this.
July 14th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Hello, my name is Gwyneth. Many people think I’m a bit snobbish when in fact, my demeanor is the direct result of discomfort caused by my macrobiotic diet. Those plebs back in the United States of Barbarians would call it gas. If you see me squinting in a sultry manner, it usually means that I’m trying to be discreet. I wonder if I’d have more of a continental air if I referred to it as the vapors? Oh, yes, and sometimes my peevishness reflects my constant state of woe over naming my child, Apple. I so wish I had been more mulitcultural when deciding on her name. Guava or Durian would have been so much cooler.
July 15th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Gwyneth is soo Pretty, too bad she is turning into a c**t.