Olympic medals, getting in the way
Wednesday, August 20th, 2008By Spirit Fingers

Nice medal haul, but don’t you think magazine covers of athletes look much better without decorative awards obstructing the spectacular view?


Nice medal haul, but don’t you think magazine covers of athletes look much better without decorative awards obstructing the spectacular view?



It’s the battle of the actresses portraying aviatrixes, Amy Adams as Amelia Earhart vs Hilary Swank as Amelia Earhart! Who do you prefer - the pert, dolled up Amelia or the plucky boyish version?

Here are the answers to Monday’s puzzle corner:
1. Hilary Swank (Million Dollar Baby)
2. Kate Bosworth (Blue Crush)
3. Michelle Trachtenberg (Ice Princess)
4. Parminder Nagra (Bend it like Beckham)
5. Rosie O’Donnell (A League of Their Own)
6. Kirsten Dunst (Wimbledon)
7. Maggie Q (Balls of Fury)
8. Elizabeth Taylor (National Velvet)
9. Missy Peregrym (Stick It)
10. Christine Taylor (Dodgeball)
Congratulations to jess for setting a blistering pace early on and obliterating the opposition with a perfect score! We place you on a very high pedestal and bestow you with a milk-chocolate gold medal for your glorious win. As your true reward you have earned an entry into the Malibu triathlon where you get to run behind Jennifer Lopez, carrying her sports drinks, Egyptian cotton towels and nipple tweaker.

Can you tell what kind of weather I’m having? I want a cosy, chestrug-wearing himbo and a cup of cocoa!
The Hills are alive with the sound of ZARDOZ! (Lolebrity)
raincoaster, revealed! (Miss604)
and JLo is all like, who is this Phelps dude? (CandyKirby)
Kanye’s favorite white woman (Websters)
Chris Kattan and his ex of eight weeks: if those two crazy kids can’t make it, what hope is there…oh nevermind (SeriouslyOMG)
Dita von TeesingYouIntoBuyingThisCrap (CelebritySmack)
Milk it for all it’s worth (AgentBedhead)
Welcome to raincoaster’s adolescence: The Go-Go’s (CeleBitchy)
A is for A-List (CrazyDaysAndNights)
Al Pacino is a family man (Defamer)
John Voight vs Roseanne (FadedYouth)
Most despised internet celebrities (Gawker)
Karl on Kollektivism (FakeKarl)
America <3 The Olympics (EvilBeet)
Xtina inspires Photoshop (DListed)

Good news, reports are saying that Shia LaBeouf’s hand is on the slow but steady road to recovery. Not that you even noticed his injured hand, given that he’s chosen to undertake the healing process without his shirt on. And if not for that pesky belt, possibly without his pants too. Now, who wants to help him undo his water bottle?

You know what would make this whole getup look much better? Some sparkly lace, Swarovski rhinestones, a mink jacket lined with yet more rhinestones and maybe even matching boots. Oh and a 100 pound cape made of ostrich feathers. Only then would I, and the blessed spirit of Liberace approve.

All of us have been summoned to the Playboy Mansion for a debauched sounding affair called ”Hot Summer Nights”. But it appears that one of us is woefully overdressed for the occasion. Can you figure out which one totally misjudged the dress code?
Amy Winehouse: Da j*g is up! (Lolebrity)
Who’s a B*stard now? (AgentBedhead)
*shley Tisdale already has more money than you’ll ever see (TheBastardly)
Oh, Roseanne, don’t ever ch*nge (CelebritySmack)
Making fun of add*cts: the music video (IBBB)
Danny Bonaduce is a bad*ss (Websters)
Amy Winehouse beh*ves Winehousingly (SeriouslyOMG)
Kate Hudson goes back to y*nking Owen Wilson’s chain (POTP)
Vinnie Jones is not such a tough b*stard (HolyMoly)
John Mayer, living proof that kiss and tell is better than f*ck and publish (CandyKirby)
Lindsay Lohan’s ex, living proof of s*me (CelebWarship)
The J*nna J*meson collection for baby (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)
Celebrity Cr*p Channel (ItsCandyTV)
Kate M*ss in May/December relationship (DailyStab)
T*ra does not care about black people! Or white people either! (CeleBitchy)
Pr*de in Product Placement (Defamer)
Matthew McConaughey is a b*g fan of Matthew McConaughey (JustJared)
P*ris has cooties! (CelebuWreck)

As demonstrated by Raven Symone:
1. Wear eye mask to sleep
2. Wake up with eye mask still on
3. Carefully find way to wardrobe
4. Get dressed
5. Remove eye mask and voila! You may now gasp in amazement at the sheer WTF of it all!

Lovely ladies, fugly frocks. But a solution is at hand - burn, bury or bin. Which will it be for each of these monstrosities? The choice is entirely yours.
As we enter the second week of the Olympics and say goodbye to those hot swimmer bodies, it is still safe to say that the sporting spirit remains alive and well at Ayyyy! Hence this week’s theme of Sportswomen in the Movies. Take a gander at the selection of sports movies below and identify the athletic actresses in question.
Answers will be put up on Wednesday morning. In the meantime I will be putting myself through a rigorous training montage to transform my puny self into a mighty East German she-hulk.


But officer, I didn’t even know he was married with kids. We just shared a friendly kiss, that’s all! And I kept my clothes on the entire time! Really! Why should I take all the blame, anyway? He’s the one you should be after, not me!
That’s what they all say Ma’am. Now step out of the car, please.