Ayyyy!

Heather Locklear reminds me of something… (Lolebrity)

Sharon Stone wants her kid to have Botox (CelebWarship)

Spike Lee: Why Tonto Should Be a Brother (CandyKirby)

Playing the straight man to Pete Doherty’s Abbott AND Costello (AgentBedhead)

Bret Michaels’ wig is a blogger, too (CelebritySmack)

Kelly Osbourne owes her sex education to Black Sabbath (DailyStab)

Anne Hathaway does not talk nasty (CeleBitchy)

Where Beyonce’s old wigs go to die (Crunk&Disorderly)

God-hating Bill Maher vs Flat Earther Sherri Shepherd (Defamer)

The girl who was JT LeRoy (Gawker)

Mischa Barton works the “Gilbert Grape” look (GoFugYourself)

Helena Bonham Carter’s steampunk shoes (DListed)

Dave Grohl identifies with his attackers (GabbyBabble)

The Wire, with special guest Samuel Beckett (EvilBeet)

Vivienne Westwood’s Parisian catwalk pix (HollywoodRag)

Naomi Watts just won the birthday present stakes (PopSugar)

The Hills monumental recap (IBBB)

Chace Crawford needs to overcome gayface (Mollygood)

Sarah Michelle Gellar and a dolphin unicorn chaser (Websters)

So after they turned me away the first time for wearing tatty denim shorts, I thought why not dye them in sophisticated black and see if that was good enough for your snooty door staff to let me in.  And it was! Hahahahahahah! Come on, laugh with me, old man! Hahahahaha!

Unfortunately the old man failed to see the humour in her little story and wandered away before she could proceed to gloat about using the same trick to smuggle in cupcake liners around her elbows.

As with a second hand car, you should always take a closer look before buying anything that seems like a good bargain.  Who knows what problems lie behind the pretty cover and whether they are even fixable.

Katie Holmes gets all SP on poor Tom (AgentBedhead)

Heather Locklear’s mug shot (Defamer)

Heather Locklear’s arrest in graphic novel form (CityRag)

How celebrity sex tapes ruined America (Gawker)

Travis Barker is out of hospital (CeleBitchy)

Jennifer Garner getting injections of hotness (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Matilda is an heiress (CelebritySmack)

Chuck Norris supports the overdogs (DailyStab)

Paris Hilton is a fairy (JustJared)

Cholita Couture (DListed)

Hot toy of the season: Hooker Barbie (CandyKirby)

Jack Osbourne, hero (GabbyBabble)

Britney’s kids know how to handle the paps! (IBBB)

Baby Spice opens a restaurant (UKPopsugar)

Did Nancy Pelosi kill your savings account’s hopes and dreams? (Radar)

Looks like Julia Stiles has been sold a real dud.  No matter how heroic your stance and how stretchy your outfit may be - that, my dear is no superhero belt.  It will not transform you into an invincible cyborg but more importantly, it is entirely powerless to save your outfit from certain destruction by clashing colours. 

This week we pay special tribute to the late great Paul Newman, one of the best-loved and brightest stars of all time.  Take a wistful look at the photo montage below and identify the movies starring this famously handsome leading man.

Answers will be put up on Wednesday morning. In the meantime I will be calling in sick so that I can enjoy a movie marathon of his memorable performances while snacking on some Newman Own’s popcorn.

As the Mouseketeers of Milan will advise, you don’t have to worry about ”hat hair” if you choose to wear your ears proudly on your sleeves.

Fantastic news, ladies! Fendi’s now given us the ability to transform into super cyborgs so we can go about performing our daily tasks more effectively. No longer will this power be limited to the select group of Japanese salarymen!

Presidential debate drinking games (Buzzfeed)

Katy Perry is the hardest-working fake lesbian in show business (AgentBedhead)

Bruno storms Fashion Week Milan! (CelebritySmack)

Amy Winehouse, Berkeley Square Ball buster! (CeleBitchy)

Blaaaaaaaaake, Incarcerated in his mom’s basement (HolyMoly)

Chuck Norris thinks John McCain will die soon (DailyStab)

Sarah Palin “displays her leadership” in the swimsuit competition (Defamer)

Iggy Pop in Crocs (DListed)

John McCain has a time machine! (Gawker)

The Four Amigos of Anorexia (CandyKirby)

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! (IBBB)

Christina Aguilera’s lipstick rocks the vote, nearly melts the camera lenses (EvilBeet)

Karl schools the teenage fashionistas (FakeKarl)

Pussycat Dolls putting the “tart” in tartan (GoFugYourself)

Britney’s new look is a Lulu (Websters)

Colbert and Stewart and Michelle and Barack (BWE)

Rob Lowe slays the birds (SeriouslyOMG)

Beckhams in boots (PopSugar)

Are Tinsley and Topper toast? (Radar)

Here is Drew Barrymore about to fulfil an important role in front of world leaders, activists and scholars at the Clinton Global Initiative. And here is Bill Clinton wondering why his pretty new assistant didn’t fill it with coffee as per his usual morning request. 

Glad to see that not only are they still together but that Mariah has finally found some use for her husband. Even if it ultimately means putting a seeing eye dog out of a job.

Katie Holmes, blogger! (CelebrityDirt)

Kid Rock is the Schlitz! (CelebuWreck)

No, seriously. David Letterman for President! (GabbyBabble)

Martha Stewart, size queen! (Lolebrity)

Amy Winehouse makes Guinness Book for largest dry cleaning bill (AgentBedhead)

Who’s a bad boy? Patrick Dempsey is! (CelebritySmack)

James Bond gagged! (MikeyMars)

Shack up chez Britney! (HolyMoly)

Captain Jack is back! (DailyStab)

Dog and Bride of Dog: deep-fried beauty, fake and bake fabulous! (CandyKirby)

Clay Aiken’s track record of heterosity! (FourFour)

Ed McMahon, rapper! (Crunk&Disorderly)

Carrot Top is a natural beauty! (IBBB)

Who is Rosh Hashanah? (Defamer)

Orlando Bloom in leather! (JustJared)

Metaphor gets literal on the strangest night of political television in history! (SeriouslyOMG)

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People premieres! (UKPopSugar)

Angelina Jolie is a doll! (ImNotObsessed)

David Blaine blames everything except the Large Hadron Collider for his failure (Mollygood)