Looks like someone could use a little practice. This is why it’s so important to get the angle right, otherwise you end up somewhere in no man’s land instead of firmly in lush and inviting territory.

I must say she does look awfully immaculate for someone who’s just been rescued from a burning lapdance club. That ought to save on the drycleaning bills!

How does it go? It’s the rusty nail that gets the free refill? Well it SHOULD go that way, dammit!

Gossip blogger blogs about being interviewed about gossip blogging on blog (EvilBeet)

Malkovich? Malkovich. Malkovich! is on teh internets (AgentBedhead)

Bono ar in ur latte, savin da werld (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ahnold will not terminate marriage equality (CelebrityDirt)

Cougartown! (GenosWorld)

I, Guy Richie, vow to love, honour, and obey these 36 line items in the marriage contract… (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Diddy is a daddy, and a hella good cook! (CelebWarship)

The Madonna List (TheRadReport)

Gwen Stefani bucks trend, releases baby pix for free! (PopBytes)

Kevin Smith is the scourge of plumbing fixtures everywhere (CeleBitchy)

Janet Jackson on tour, now with 30% less obscenity (CelebritySmack)

The Trollson Twins clean up well as Vargas Girls (DailyStab)

Russell Band inspires unlikely labour activism at the Beeb (HolyMoly)

Cloris has her own reality show! My prayers have been answered! (Defamer)

Mariah Carey’s Halloween style crumbles (Websters)

Don’t you HATE it when someone shows up in the same dress as you? (DListed)

Bloody Hell! Endometriosis is catching??? (GabbyBabble)

Katherine Heigl is playing games with us (CandyKirby)

The View from the bottom of the barrel (IBBB)

Nicolette Sheridan goes down on her handlers (SeriouslyOMG)

Roger Ebert’s Rules of Order (Gawker)

Hey folks do you have a tendency to hear more than one voice in your head? Split personalities call for a variety of styling tools so make sure the end product meets with the approval of the entire gang!

Well, when someone as formidable as Grace Jones throws down the gauntlet in a face-pulling contest how else is a gentleman to respond?

There’s nothing quite like a B52. Not even a bunch of other B52s.

Do not speak to the Trollsens (CelebWarship)

Jennifer Aniston gets a brain scan (CelebuWreck)

And after all this time, Russia loses the Cold War (Websters)

There’s nothing like a Dame (SeriouslyOMG)

I’m running away to join the Italian police! (WizbangPop)

Russell Brand resigns in sex call scandal (UKPopSugar)

That sure looks like a golden calf to me (Mollygood)

Mariah Carey has a fallback plan (ImNotObsessed)

A Liquor Puzzle? Who invented this, Andrew Volstead? (IBBB)

Melrose Place 2.0? (CandyKirby)

Lindsay Lohan is looking rough (GoFugYourself)

Dannyhott could teach you a thing or two about teh internets (FourFour)

Phil Spector’s wigs are back to haunt your dreams (Defamer)

Victoria Beckham to wear flats for over four consecutive hours!!!! (DailyStab)

Cloris Leachman is an irresistible force of nature (DListed)

Old Kids on the Block, dissected (CelebritySmack)

Olsen Twins Squared? Well, one of them is more rounded anyway (AgentBedhead)

Melissa Etheridge not allowed to adopt her own children (CeleBitchy)

The judges haven’t even begun their evaluations, but already we can tell which one won’t be winning any prizes for talent, grooming or general appearance.

Still waiting for the cloakroom attendant to find where he put that leather jacket of yours? Never fear, if the chills start multiplying perhaps Natalie Portman will be kind enough to lend you one of her thermal shoulder-warmers.