As we put on our fat pants in readiness for a hearty holiday binge, let’s turn to Gerard Depardieu to show us how it’s done – first with some succulent smoked salmon, a tipple of your favourite wine, followed by those deliciously decadent truffles and of course the festive fowl that’s had its neck lovingly wrung by your bare hands.

Both of these pop princesses have had the honour of ringing the New York Stock Exchange opening bell, but which one do you think is more likely to give a much-needed boost to the markets?

Hey, nothing sets you up right in the morning like a steamed seasonal beverage, particularly one high in Vitamin C and natural sugars, and most particularly after an evening of Hot Tom and Jerry. Not that I would know anything about that.

Hey Santa, say hi to your mother for me (KnockedUpCelebs)

and just like that, a Himbo commits career suicide (AgentBedhead)

The victim statement of Miss Paris Hilton (AmyGrindhouse)

SamRo go to Hospital, yo (Bricks and Stones)

The Olsen Twins are different from you and me (CeleBitchy)

Amy Winehouse airs out the girls (CelebWarship)

The 12 Days of Drunk Celebrities (Cityrag)

The Bond Girl Murder (CelebritySmack)

Your rhetorical Michael Jackson question of the year (DailyStab)

Zac Efron, the fruity Christmas keepsake (Defamer)

John Mayer hates puppies (DListed)

A cultural history of the Star Wars Holiday Special (VanityFair)

Most scandalous celebs of 2008 (UKPopSugar)

Most inspirational animal of 2008 (EvilBeet)

Christmas Brangelina collectibles (HolyCandy)

Lily Allen: coming soon to a preschool near you (ImNotObsessed)

Katie Holmes stands up her husband (JustJared)

Peaches Geldof does same (HolyMoly)

Everyone complains about the weather but nobody does anything about it (IBBB)

It’s Bai Ling’s world, we just live in it (Websters)

If ever MTV greenlights a spinoff starring these two, do you think it would be called The Hardened Silicone Gel-filled Mounds?

Lily Allen on her current preference for pursuits of the intellectual kind:

“I hang out with much older people, I go for dinners at posh places and talk about art! I find that my life was sort of lacking in friends. I’m meeting more interesting people who tax my brain.”

And with this newfound maturity comes a more sophisticated way of dressing – look, no body piercings or tattoos!

Have parts of Pamela Anderson gotten forgetful over the years? Looks like the right one needs cue cards because it can’t seem to remember its lines again.

What an incredible relief to no longer have to live up to a certain frenemy’s overly impeccable dress standards. To celebrate her departure for for more Italian climes, let’s officially declare today, Dress Down While Shopping For Diamonds Day!

Note: Ayyyy! Puzzle corner will return on Monday 5 January.

Don’t you hate it when you forget to check before going straight from the Ladies’ Room onto the catwalk?