Ayyyy!

Some day we’ll meet again
And away to his beautifully restored beachside mansion we’ll go
To be happy forever I know!

I don’t know what it was, but it was white, it was fizzy, and it was free, so who am I to look a gift plonk in the mouth? That’s what I get for not buying my own drinks!

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Ricardo Montalban vs Gregory Peck (TeenyManolo)

Mad-Eye Mills is Moody (AgentBedhead)

Hey! Jordana Brewster is back! (AmyGrindhouse)

Bluebeard sadly looking his age (CelebuWreck)

but maybe these people can still use him? (CelebritySmack)

Suzanne Somers is a pillhead (CeleBitchy)

Scarjo has some questions for God (DailyStab)

PuppyBowl! (Defamer)

Alan Cumming on the President (DListed)

Daniel Radcliffe on the President (UKPopSugar)

Starting your own daycare: yor doin it rong (EvilBeet)

an fyenansin it rong (CandyKirby)

Ines owns (HollywoodBackwash)

That’s why they call her Gaga (GoFugYourself)

John Mayer has a new squeeze now (JustJared)

Russell Crowe, hawt Eighties preacher (SeriouslyOMG)

Ali Lohan is fifteen going on forty (Websters)

Multiple Grammy nominations, a trendy haircut, and intimidating boots that take half a day to lace up, what more could a girl want? I know – what about a giant sanding wheel for the head to go with those fishnet stockings?

Some are sweeter, some dryer, but to my mind a perfect Manhattan is 2:1 Jack Daniels to Cinzano, with two strong dashes of bitters, and lots of ice. I could, of course, be wrong.

But I’m not.

Top five hunks (AgentBedhead)

Bruce Willis’ karma comes home to roost (AmyGrindhouse)

Top 10 Zac Efron blingees! (BWE)

Ines de la Fressange walks the catwalk again!  (CelebuWreck)

Battling Lennons to reunite for UN (CeleBitchy)

NPH Live! (CelebritySmack)

ScarJo confused by basic biology: will you help her?  (DailyStab)

Animal Abuse! (DListed)

Lady Gaga gone gaga (EvilBeet)

The Tudor Gay Porn Dynasty (Defamer)

A Spicy reunion (UKPopSugar)

The return of Renee (CandyKirby)

The blonde interviewing the blonde (HolyMoly)

Wow, a champagneless Fashion Week can really take a lot out of a 23 year-old starlet. Let’s hope they haven’t started down cutting down on everybody’s favourite party drug too – these people need to subsist on something!

Having brought his latest creation to life with the promise of limitless couture, it was now time for Dr Lagerfeld to put it to good use. Surely the villagers could be easily terrorised into buying wagonloads of Coco Mademoiselle perfume.

Water Joe, for those who don’t know, is the H20 through caffeine flows. Sometimes you need it, yo.

Kimora Phat (BlackCelebKids)

Gisele loses to Jennifer Aniston (SkinnyVsCurvy)

Evan Rachel Wood officially has lower standards than your sad barfly friend (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Aniston is no bunny (AmyGrindhouse)

The worst 4 minutes of Bruce Springsteen’s life (BWE)

Angelina doesn’t know how to dress herself (BricksAndStones)

Ted Nugent’s New Year’s resolutions (CelebuWreck)

Britney’s body is back! (CelebritySmack)

Sir Paul speaks out on Mucca (CeleBitchy)

Slash vs Lily Tomlin! The stakes: an elephant! (Defamer)

Wonk Eye vs Lady Gaga (DListed)

Payback for everyone who ever answered a cellphone in the can (EvilBeet)

Kanye changes name (GabbyBabble)

Amy Winehouse is making life rough for US photographers (CandyKirby)

The City still exists? (IBBB)

Bart Simpson, scientologist? (Websters)

Octuplets?!?! That’s FOUR times more than Leon Knox and myself and two more than all of us put together! Imagine how big their French chateau must be!