Ayyyy!

You know the economy is bad when once-promising starlets have to hawk off their Manolos and have to protect their feet with duct tape instead.

I don’t know what it is, but it was free (since my friend was moving and giving it away) and it has caffeine in it, so we’re going with it. Says “China Green Tee” on it, so perhaps it’s golf-flavoured? I’ve decided I don’t care for golf, actually.

Mel Gibson as Colonel Sanders (Websters)

Vanessa Hudgen’s sweater as The Blob (TenGossip)

Matt Damon in Bringing Up Baby (ASL)

Jade Goody in The Wedding Dress (UKPopSugar)

Suge Knight in Hospital (WhizbangPop)

Juliette Binoche in Hairspray (CandyKirby)

Angelina Jolie in The Affair of the Necklace (ImNotObsessed)

Fake Paula Abdul in Gotcha! (IBBB)

Katie Holmes in The Real World (JustJared)

Katy Perry in Disposed! (HolyMoly)

Paris Hilton in Front Row, Center (GoFugYourself)

Kingston Rossdale in Barney (EvilBeet)

The Hoff in Fame! (Lainey)

Octomom in Forclosure (DailyStab)

JD Fortune in Cars (CelebritySmack)

Michael Lohan in Raging Bull**** (CeleBitchy)

Entertainment Weekly in Trouble (Defamer)

Patrick Swayze in Retirement (FadedYouth)

Victoria Beckham in Yeti! (AmyGrindhouse)

Chris Brown in Sanctimony (AprilWinchell)

Charlie Sheen in Vegas, Baby! (AgentBedhead)

Whereas music is merely a fleeting sensory experience, bad fashion lingers in your darkest recesses of your battered psyche long after it’s assailed you.

One of us finds the dust on the floorboards to be infinitely more fascinating than her front row companions. Can you tell which one, dear readers?

Here’s another exciting visual puzzle for you to sink your eyes into.  See if you can tell where the hair extensions end and the real fur begins. Bonus points for identifying which part of the Appalachians the latter came from!

Because there’s only room for one stripey jumpsuit in anyone’s wardrobe, most people will have to make a tough call on whether to settle on flared or tapered.  Choose carefully, take as long as you need, just know you can’t have it both ways, people.

Forget about Fall/Winter 2009, I bet the Editor-in-Chief of French Vogue can’t wait for moulting season to begin!

I’m too sick to make Cockney rhyming slang jokes, so that’s the best I can do right now. Maybe I should go back on the flu meds? At least they were fun!

These Blue States were made for Walken (AgentBedhead)

Miley Cyrus performs her Ashlee Simpson impression (AmyGrindhouse)

Ben Affleck, war correspondent (CeleBitchy)

One last Christian Bale mashup (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay’s starving, delusional (HolyMoly)

Your Matilda and Michelle Unicorn Chaser (TenGossip)

Beware the Shaq, my son (DailyStab)

Miley Cyrus is a Twit (Defamer)

Helen Thomas vs the World! (DListed)

Kate Moss even gets fat better than you (EvilBeet)

Life lessons from Lily Allen (GabbyBabble)

Valentine’s Day with Karl Lagerfeld (FakeKarl)

Salma Hayek is off the market (CandyKirby)

It looks like Madonna really DOES hate her daughter! (IBBB)

Happy Birthday Agyness (UKPopSugar)