Ayyyy!

Of these divas clad in jungle cat print, which style do you prefer – the clean look displayed by Christina or the messy profusion being sported by Lisa?

While Madonna waits it out in Malawi for news on her latest proposed acquisition, it appears from the photo above that J-Lo has already successfully adopted two baby foxes. True, she’s only brought home their skins but that’s only so it’s much safer for the twins to play with!

Have you tried that stuff? It twitches! It twitches, and it burps, and then it sinks to the bottom and then it unfurls like the glittering eye of Cthulhu appearing through a forest of tentacles!

I should switch back to gin, I swear!

Bruno is a dirty, dirty boy (AgentBedhead)

Madison Spelling, the talented one of the family (AmyGrindhouse)

Jason Stratham is getting a Brazilian? (BusyBeeBlogger)

Lindsay Lohan is making useful career connections (CeleBitchy)

Chlorophyll Leachman (CelebritySmack)

No, that is not a cookie press… (CelebuWreck)

Jennifer Garner is sapping the last of Ben Affleck’s wealth (DailyStab)

RIP Andy Hallett (EvilBeet)

Gwyneth Paltrow shows off her cool, upper-class style (GabbyBabble)

Lindsay channels grunge (IBBB)

Jennifer Aniston fires her hairdresser (JustJared)

New Kids On Tour (INO)

Robert Pattinson, nude and crazy (UKPopSugar)

Androgyny, Osbourne-style! (HolyMoly)

Lurid-coloured spandex, Paula’s disturbing obsession with chains and Harvey Weinstein – don’t you think these unsettling images are more than a little inappropriate for the younger generation to be viewing?

This week we invite you to bust out some killer moves for the theme of “Female Assassins in the Movies”. Stealthily examine the picture montage and identify the lethal ladies in question for a possible 10 out of 10.

Answers will be put up on Wednesday morning. In the meantime I will be nonchalantly cutting a swathe through all the men with my samurai sword-chainsaw-machine gun combo.

Oh Paris, it’s amazing what an afternoon with you can achieve! Before this, I never knew there was such a thing as mutton dressed as cake frosting!

Let’s just say this F has been a long time coming. So to speak.

Henry Rollins, original (AgentBedhead)

Beyonce channels SuperMario, Grace Jones, and Barbarella (AmyGrindhouse)

Russell Brand, gentleman? (CelebWarship)

Knife Fight! (CeleBitchy)

Free Willie Aames! (CelebritySmack)

Dear Jeffrey Dean Morgan, there’s something you should know… (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Spit or swallow? Padma vs Paris (CelebuWreck)

Kimora’s baby bump is just swell (Crunk+Disorderly)

Where the Wild Things Are (DailyStab)

The beehive has left the building (DanasDirt)

Unemployed celebutard tells homeless person to go get a job (DListed)

Shamwhoa! (EvilBeet)

Tina Turner’s Star Spangled Spanx (GabbyBabble)

Nicole Richie as Lady Gaga (HollywoodBackwash)

Jennifer Aniston needs a new flack (IBBB)

Celebrity vagina readings (INO)

Ashton prefers it rough (SeriouslyOMG)

Guy Richie goes pubbing with a Prince (UKPopSugar)

Scarlett Johansson -> ScarJo? Or Scarlett Johansson -> Natalie Portman? (Websters)

Peaches Geldof got a thesaurus! (HolyMoly)

Latin music awards? More like graduation day for sexy space cadets and their sexier handmaidens!