Ayyyy!

Oh my, Heather Mills’s new line of “recycled” clothing isn’t pretty. It looks, in fact, like something the cat dragged in…from the bins out behind the local bordello. Behold…

This jumpsuit? Had the front row shouting “Jump! Jump!”

Girl, you can work it as fiercely as you want; it ain’t gonna work.

Formal shorts have met their match: tuxedo manpris.

In fact, this collection brought joy to only one viewer on Earth:
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Her son’s assertions to the contrary, Charo will have you know she is not now, nor has she ever been a Playboy Bunny.

Professional Divorcee Jocelyne Wildenstein

or

Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders as Jackie and Joan Collins?

I can’t decide if this is just crazy or “so crazy it works, but just for her.”

In any case, I’m relatively sure this is the first time Malibu Beach has seen the combination of petticoats, mob caps, and platform flip-flops.

We are big believers in observing tradition here at Ayyyy.com; the joyous winter holidays, the flirtatious rites of Spring, crisp walks in the Autumn, and of course, the annual ritual of laughing at the ridonkulous outfits worn by Miss Universe contestants.

I think someone had better explain to literal-minded Miss Germany what is meant by “foundation garments.”

Light-fingered Miss Phillipines had better get that back to the Imelda statue at Madame Tussaud’s before they find out it’s missing.

Miss Cayman Islands leads the crowd in a rousing chorus of “Hands Up.”

For this, we have to Blame (Miss) Canada. Sweetie, where’s your pride: those aren’t even Fluevogs!

Does anyone else see this?

The Cusacks may be a bit wacky, but at least nobody’s ever photographed Joan in bed with a turtle.

You’re addicted to gloves.

Our man-candy today is the always-decorative and lately-quite-evolved Johnny Depp, who is no stranger to a good cocktail and does not take any guff for sharing Hunter S. Thompson’s preference for fresh daiquiris. Nor do I, although I prefer Hemingway’s version.

Tom Cruise tush toner  (AgentBedhead)

Cat People don’t reproduce (LaughingStork)

The Allegorical Meaning of T Rex (DrBoli)

Kristen Stewart rocks the Mackinaw Lite (BricksAndStones)

Ricky Martins shows off the twins (BusyBeeBlogger)

Robert Pattinson not even CAREER dead (AmyGrindhouse)

Frances Bean Cobain: they grow up so fast (CelebritySmack)

St Angelina is official now (CeleBitchy)

Michael Jackson vs GQ (Crunk&Disorderly)

Mandy Moore: Funny or Die (DailyStab)

The McSteamy sex tape coverage (Gawker)

Kenny Chesney’s new chaps (DListed)

Megan’s Most Wanted (GabbyBabble)

Hooray for crack? (GoFugYourself)

She’s like a bird; she’ll only fly away (Movieline)

Hugh Grant vs Sarah Jessica Parker (UKPopSugar)