Archive - October, 2010

Saturday Caption Contest Results: Johnny Depp Edition

LAS VEGAS - MAY 25:  Hannah Hindi (L) of Nevada as Helena Bonham Carter's character Mrs. Lovett and her sister Hillary Hindi (R) as Johnny Depp's character Sweeney Todd from the movie, 'Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street,' pose with Ron Rodriguez of California (C) as they arrive at the 17th annual Reel Awards at the Imperial Palace Hotel and Casino May 25, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. The show honors the world's top impersonators, tribute artists and celebrity look-alikes.  (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

renalfailure Says:
October 25th, 2010 at 11:05 am

Johnny Depp announces the 2011 reunion tour of The Cure.

Congratulations and imaginary swag to RenalFailure! To commemorate this great victory we shall virtually present the hypothetical trophy of this $30,000 Damascene Razor by Hommage.

Damascene? Obscene, at that price

Damascene? Obscene, at that price

Saturday Caption Contest: Emma Roberts Edition

“Whatcha up to?”

“Nothing much, just…______________”

Suggestions, completions, and alternate caption ideas welcome in the comments section.

Emma Roberts photobombed by Croc Man

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My Own Private I’da …

LONDON, ENGLAND - OCTOBER 21: Global ambassador for Cointreau Dita Von Teese poses for a portrait to promote the launch of the limited edition 'My Private Cointreau Coffret' at Selfridges on October 22, 2010 in London, England. The unique beauty essential & cocktail kit has been designed by Dita Von Teese and is available at Selfridges. (Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images for Cointreau)

Oh, even I couldn’t bring myself to make that pun about Dita von Teese, the woman who brought elegance back(?) to the profession of ecdysism. She’s seen here a) schooling Christina Hendricks in how to wear florals and b) launching a super-high-end Cointreau Coffret, which is basically a jewelry box full of booze and two glasses, which is generally the sort of thing I need, so call me, Cointreau. Americans can enter to win it by following the instructions at this link.

And now, to the Halloween-themed gossip links!

Stick it to zombies with this bedtime story for grownups (raincoaster)
Does Sharon Stone bathe in virgin’s blood? (Ayyyy)
Sarah Jessica Parker reeks of the open grave (Lolebrity)
I’m going as this spicy hot stuff for Halloween (ManoloFood)
Welcome your weekend of horror (CelebrityBeehive)
Lindsay Lohan to be saved from fate as flesh-eating monster (AgentBedhead)
Well, that’s ONE way to get a vampire’s attention (BusyBeeBlogger)
Can one of these heros save us? (CeleBitchy)
The sex tape rumour that Will! Not! Die! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Every Day is Halloween! (CelebritySmack)
Celebrity Halloween treats (CityRag)
I’m sorry, Anne Hathaway, but this is horrifying (CojoStyle)
Kim Kardashian makes the punchlines too easy (DailyStab)
Elizabeth Hasselbeck is not long for this world (DListed)
Damien? (Earsucker)
Hideous corpse walks the Earth, needs pants (EvilBeet)
The year they cancelled Halloween (fourfour)
Zombie Justice for Anna Nicole Smith (GabbyBabble)
The Story That Will Not Die continues (GirlsTalkinSmack)
The Shoes That Will Not Die rise again (HaveUHeard)
Unspeakable golem creature forces human into servitude (INeedMyFix)
Jude Law vs Cthulhu! (JustJared)
The Halloween Hater’s guide (Movieline)
Emma Roberts calls for help! (PerezHilton)
Elusive creature sighted (PoorBritney)

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Sharon Stone’s got clear vision

LOS ANGELES, CA - OCTOBER 27: Actress Sharon Stone speaks at the amfAR Inspiration Gala celebrating men's style with Piaget and DSquared 2 at Chateau Marmont on October 27, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by John Shearer/Getty Images for amfAR)

Cougar hypochondriac Sharon Stone is pictured yesterday at the amfAR Inspiration Gala, movingly retelling the tragic life story of every cow who went into making her dress. Later in the program, she gave her tips for installing variable headlights in formal wear, and let one lucky attendee in on where she’d hidden the on/off switch.

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Gwyneth Paltrow in The Karate Kid?

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - OCTOBER 18: (L-R) Honorees Gwyneth Paltrow in Calvin Klein Collection, honorees Diane Keaton and Hilary Swank and host Adam Shankman in Calvin Klein Collection seen onstage at ELLE's 17th Annual Women in Hollywood Tribute at The Four Seasons Hotel on October 18, 2010 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Todd Williamson/Getty Images For Elle Magazine)

Highly competitive actress Gwyneth Paltrow, pictured here at the Women in Hollywood tribute, leaned in and grabbed rival Hilary Swank, prior to powerfully flipping her coiffure-over-couture, as Swank begged for mercy. After that, she shotgunned a double vegan Apple Karate cocktail and proceeded to wipe the floor with poor Diane Keaton.

No stuffed animal would DARE do this to Gwyneth! (raincoaster)
Can’t you just see her doing this for little Moses? And little Chris? (Ayyyy)
Having Ms Paltrow for dinner? Try a gin marinade (ManoloFood)
Gwyneth wouldn’t be caught DEAD in that! (Lolebrity)
Another ice princess loses her prince (CelebrityBeehive)
Gwyneth Paltrow’s hard knock life
(AgentBedhead)
Look, Gwyneth Paltrow’s sex life is none of our business (BusyBeeBlogger)
The only woman standing between Gwyneth Paltrow and her greatest dream (CeleBitchy)
Meanwhile, Gwyneth’s trashy alter personality lurks in LA (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Charlie Sheen’s night of debauchery in Gwyneth’s old room (CityRag)
Gwyneth only WISHES she looked this good (GirlsTalkingSmack)
Get your Goop on when you win these appliances (HaveUHeard)
Is this PattinClone good enough for Gwyneth? (INeedMyFix)

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Kicks

Vintage shoe ad

Except for the location of the decimal place, it could be a contemporary ad from John Fluevog.

You know you want them.

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And pull up those damn pants!

Servicey:

For Mothers Only, because it's way too ghey for Fathers, right? amirite?

Now, if they could only do something about those low-riding pants.
Kanye kant pull up his pants

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Shirley, you jest

LONDON, ENGLAND - OCTOBER 26: Dame Shirley Bassey DBE arrives at the Fashion for the Brave event at the Dorchester on October 26, 2010 in London, England. (Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

“Basher” Bassey demonstrates how a real Dame handles uppity paparazzi. Perhaps she’d had a few Street Fighter Cocktails beforehand.

MJ fans stopped, got enough (raincoaster)
Saturday Caption Contest: Johnny Depp 2.0 (Ayyyy)
Under New Management (ManoloFood)
The latest OH GOD IT CAN’T BE TRUE couple (CelebrityBeehive)
Walken in a winter wonderland (Lolebrity)
Bill and Ted’s not so excellent time machine (AgentBedhead)
Kathy Griffin has hit rock bottom (BusyBeeBlogger)
NOBODY messes with Joan Freaking Collins (CeleBitchy)
World’s worst couple back together (CelebDirtyLaundry)
When your star has faded, isn’t it “Cold boxing?” (CityRag)
Carousel of Couture (CojoStyle)
World welcomes two new Canadians (DailyStab)
Bert comes out (EvilBeet)
Celebrities bare their fangs (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Lady Gaga is a billionaire (HaveUHeard)
That’s 100,000 loonies, bitches! (INeedMyFix)
Mariah and mom come (JustJared)
Lock up your babehs! Madge is on the loose! (PerezHilton)
Britwick -> Lawyer’s office??? (PoorBritney)
Marky Mark vs Bieber Fever (SeriouslyOMG)

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