Archive - January, 2011

Mystery Man Revealed!

Here’s our Gap Toothed Guy from a few days ago:

Mystery Gap Toothed Guy

Mystery Gap Toothed Guy

and, as per usual, in no time you’d sussed out his true identity. It’s amazing what some dentures, a jaunty mustache, a pair of tweezers, and a side part will do for a man.

Clark Fucking Gable, Bitches!

Clark Fucking Gable, Bitches!

Kudos and imaginary swag to Anneke, who was the first to correctly guess hunky Makeover Boy here. In the spirit of our classic leading man and former tie salesman, we hypothetically present this lovely foulard by Brian Dales.

Brian Dales scarf

Brian Dales scarf

Hump Day Hunk Links: George Stephanopoulos

Oh, there's my Georgie

Sigh. George, what went wrong?

That’s my boy. Very few people know that back in ’92 and ’93 I was actually a founding member of the George Stephanopoulos Fan Club, and a contributor to their monthly newsletter, the Stephanopouletter. My copy of The War Room has nearly worn out from being watched every 4th of July. I saw him in person at the Vancouver Summit, where I looked up from my glamorous work unloading the coffee for Starbucks, saw him, and froze. It’s not too often I’ve had my breath taken away, but that was one of those times. An American Secret Service agent who’d no doubt seen this happen to dozens of hapless women walked over and said, “That’s George Stephanopoulos. But he’s not old enough to date.”

Le Sigh.

Where was I? Oh, right. In the spirit of bipartisanship I’ll try to remember to feature a picture of Young John McCain at some point in the future, or you can just cheat and click through for that.

And now, the gossip links!

Julian Assange’s new do (raincoaster)

Shut UP, Emma Watson (Lolebrity)

Guess the gap-toothed guy (Ayyyy)

Our WORLD EXCLUSIVE lasted exactly one day (ManoloFood)

Stayin’ Alive? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! (AgentBedhead)

The baby’s first word was “rhinoplasty” (BusyBeeBlogger)

Jimmy Buffetted! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Have YOU ever been upstaged by your own dress? (CelebritySmack)

Paris Hilton shows you her puppies (CityRag)

But which one is MegaShark and which is Gatoroid? (DailyStab)

Never before has spandex restrained so much for so little purpose (FitFabCeleb)

Gag (GirlsTalkinSmack)

So she was single in the sense that nobody would be seen with her? (HaveUHeard)

Jon Cryer is no different from anybody else (INeedMyFix)

Sad, gender-confused Britney (PoorBritney)

The CougarTown drinking game! (SeriouslyOMG)

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Guess the Gap-Toothed Guy

Yes, this Lettermanesque fellow is a Hollywood icon. He is, additionally, the world’s greatest advertisement for electrolysis and dental crowns.

Mystery Gap Toothed Guy

Mystery Gap Toothed Guy

Put your guesses in the comments. Yes, I GUARANTEE you’ve heard of this dude. You will enjoy swooning at his After picture. You will then, probably, start squinting at your husband or significant other, thinking “hmmmm…”

Firecrotch No More!

Yes, that's a vagina sweater

Yes, that's a vagina sweater

Thanks to our pal DemiCouture, we were made aware of this … remarkable … sweater from Topshop. Perchance is it Brazilian?

Definitely your go-to choice if you’re either “professionally companionable” or dating a guy who drives a Hummer.

Saint Bill of Murray (Lolebrity)

Michael Douglas photobomb! (raincoaster)

Julian Assange is the greatest photoshop opportunity of our time (Ayyyy)

Cheese it! That’s too expensive! (Manolofood)

Katie Holmes and the World’s Ugliest Pants (AgentBedhead)

But did he put it on her FINGER? (AmyGrindhouse)

Are We There Yet contest (BusyBeeBlogger)

Jennifer Aniston pulls a Bridget Jones (CeleBitchy)

Palin putting it around? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

I see dumb people. They don’t know they’re dumb (CelebritySmack)

Annalynne McCord gives a puppy a helping hand (CityRag)

This choice of Catwoman is nuts! (DailyStab)

You can get arrested for just acting weird? (FitFabCeleb)

Xtina is X-ed out in someone else’s bed (GirlsTalkinSmack)

P!nk is F!!!ing Perfect (HaveUHeard)

Rachel Zoe is unapologetically elasticized (INeedMyFix)

Spears for Sears? (PoorBritney)

Prince + Madonna = Tru Luv 4 eva (PopBytes)

David Spade is OLD: FACT of life (SeriouslyOMG)

Samson AND Delilah?

Oh, this is precious.

Julian Assange's hair game is insane

Julian Assange's hair game is insane

emo julian assange still has his poetry

emo julian assange still has his poetry and his Morrissey albums

Aren’t they cute? I know we’ve had a snotload of Wikileaks founder and Bond Villain Julian Assange lately, but how can you not? I ask you. The world keeps coming up with new and delightful ways to play with him, from the Julian Assange coloring book right up to this, a contest to Design The Next Great Haircut for Julian Assange.

Ladies and Gentlemen, start your photoshop!

Get a handle on it, Gwyneth!

If Alaia weren't already dead, this would kill him off

If Alaia weren't already (at least "career")dead, this would kill him off

It was sweet of Gwynnie to try to save her corporate puppet-masters some dosh by doing her own makeup, but she really shouldn’t have done it with her thumbs just to prove she could. Also, I’m relatively sure that when Baume&Mercier signed her, they expected her to show up in something more attractive than pink wifebeater with Vegas Novelty Hooker Bottoms. Seriously, has Alaia been kidnapped and replaced with some spangly reject from Juicy Couture?

Presidential Pants!

As a texan, LBJ had problems with the concept of "personal space"
What’s the secret to a statesmanlike bearing? What makes a man feel truly confident, secure enough to lead the world in troubled times? The answer, according to Lyndon Baines Johnson, is simple:

Pants.

Pants that fit “where my nuts hang… back to my bunghole.”

Put This On: LBJ Buys Pants from Put This On on Vimeo.

January 17, 2011
by Jesse

In 1964, Lyndon Johnson needed pants, so he called the Haggar clothing company and asked for some. The call was recorded (like all White House calls at the time), and has since become the stuff of legend. Johnson’s anatomically specific directions to Mr. Haggar are some of the most intimate words we’ve ever heard from the mouth of a President.

We at Put This On took the historic original audio and gave it to animator Tawd Dorenfeld, who created this majestic fantasia of bungholiana.

Enjoy this special treat from Put This On: LBJ Orders Pants. Then share it with a friend who loves pants.

http://www.putthison.com

http://www.polymorphproductions.com/

Sharon Stone’s Hollywood Diet Links

Sharon Stone goes Om Nom Nom

Sharon Stone goes Om Nom Nom

At a recent press conference, Sharon Stone demonstrates a typical lunch from her own patented Hollywood Diet that’s responsible for her girlish figure and fresh face.

Boobs! Breasts! Chest! And Keywords! (raincoaster)

Fashion trolls can climb? (Ayyyy)

Challah, breakfast! (Manolofood)

Sean Connery is the top! (Lolebrity)

Robert Pattinson and pubes in the same sentence (AgentBedhead)

Ode to Californication (BusyBeeBlogger)

Stars shoulder the burden of fashion (CeleBitchy)

Joan Rivers vs Sarah Palin (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Paz’d out (CelebritySmack)

Canadian-dater is impure! (AllieIsWired)

Charlie Sheen, name-dropper! (Earsucker)

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban sublet a womb (DailyStab)

Sandra Bullock knows bangs are cheaper than Botox (GirlsTalkinSmack)

For a sec I seriously thought that was Julian Assange with CZJ (HaveUHeard)

Montreal won the Golden Globes (INeedMyFix)

Kanye Kant Handle It (PoorBritney)

You don’t deserve Ricky Jervais! (PopBytes)

Hayden, that is not what they mean by “the layered look” (FitFabCeleb)

JLo bids high (GabbyBabble)

Celebrity philosophers in 140 characters (EvilBeet)

The TRUE winner of the Golden Globes (MovieLine)

Michael Lohan finally finds his perfect match (SeriouslyOMG)

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