Oh, you people! You gave me fifteen whole minutes to gloat about stumping you before you nailed it one after the other!
Presenting our mysterious Oriental beauty of earlier this week:
Yes, as Gina and several others correctly guessed, this veiled lovely is the loveliest of all: Miss Elizabeth Taylor. To our perceptive winner we hypothetically award the virtual prize of this little Chopard bauble that might possibly, on a good day, be Liz-worthy.
I’m sorry, people, do we really have to go over this after all this time?
Charo cannot be upstaged. It cannot be done. Stop trying.
And now, it’s time for our Sexy Links. Enjoy them with a sexy cocktail like the Big Blue Sexy:
Sextradited! Julian Assange is going to Sweden! (raincoaster)
Dinner with Julian could get sexy! (Manolofood)
Steve Martin is a spammer! (raincoastermedia)
Marlon Brando is rollin’ dirty! (Lolebrity)
The King must be hard up (AgentBedhead)
Lindsay Lohan can afford a car? (BusyBeeBlogger)
How to Kreate a Kardashian (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Let them eat Paris Hilton’s birthday cake! (CelebritySmack)
Champagne wishes and caviar … nails? (CelebVIPLounge)
EVERYBODY’s a Material Girl (DailyStab)
Buy some Bieber! (Earsucker)
It’s a living, eh Natalie? (FitFabCeleb)
Kiki Drunkst spent her allowance on eyeliner (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Rosie O’Donnell is gonna have to get a job now! (HaveUHeard)
Also, she was trying to auction off her Plus One (INeedMyFix)
Is there MONEY in being an internet troll? (PoorBritney)
and for this she gets $5million a picture (SeriouslyOMG)
I’d pay good money to have seen this live (TheSkinny)
Arcade Fire are a musical group of insufferably twee Canadian hipsters who stole the grammy that Esperanza Spaulding didn’t. They are also the band that launched a thousand tweets, most of them asking “Who the hell are Arcade Fire?” Well, this guy has your answer:
and if you’re wondering why you should care, this acoustic version of the Clash’s Guns of Brixton, recorded in the lobby of the Brixton Academy should answer that pretty resoundingly. You can try to resist, but you cannot succeed, because this version is a worthy anthem for our surprisingly revolutionary time.
And yes, that is a Hurdy Gurdy.
You know how it works. Put your guesses in the comments, and with the track record you people have, it should take you about forty-five seconds.
And after it’s taken you no time at all to guess our illustrious guest, you can peruse our gossip links for today.
Angela Lansbury murders her whiskey (lolebrity)
Today in WTF (raincoaster)
Shoe horns and corn links (Ayyyy)
A toast to toast! (Manolofood)
Helen Mirren will kick your ass (AgentBedhead)
Still life with cocktails? WHERE’S MY INVITATION? (BusyBeeBlogger)
Justin Bieber gets waxed! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
The Man with the Golden Reality Show (CelebritySmack)
But was Timberlake naked, too? (CelebVIPLounge)
The Cougar Report (Cougared)
Mazel Tov, Alyssa Milano (DailyStab)
Colin Firth is shameless (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Bieber buzzed (GossipTeen)
Lady Gaga is impervious to weather (HaveUHeard)
Billy Ray Cyrus is kittenwhipped (INeedMyFix)
Britney’s video fallout (PoorBritney)
Faye Dunaway flies coach, gets punk’d (PopBytes)
Kate Beckinsale uses her boobs as a pet carrier? (TheSkinny)
Baby Spice 4.0 on the way (SkinnyChic)
Christian Louboutin has a lot to answer for (for which to answer? Whatever) in particular these heinosities for both sexes:
And for the Ladies:
Now, I’m sorry.
No, I’m not.
But these BOTH look like either two people suffering from EPIC plantar warts (isn’t it nice they found each other? I bet the romcom would star Jennifer Aniston and Ben Stiller, and be nearly as painful as the disease) OR they were lovingly hand-crafted in an Italian atelier from the intimate membranes of a Stegosaurus with history’s worst case of genital warts.
Having planted that lovely thought in your head, I’ll now degrade you further with todays corny links.
Britney Spears is corny (Lolebrity)
“Evergreen” is still the top kernel of corn (raincoaster)
Gaga’s brains are totally frittata (AgentBedhead)
Chris CORNell (BusyBeeBlogger)
Duelling cornballs, nobody wins! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Bagel-to-Perogy communications perfected (DippedInCream)
Kingston’s just a niblet off the ol’ cob (CelebritySmack)
What the Adele? Isn’t WalMart too cornepone? (CelebVIPLounge)
Elisabetta Corn-all-ass (CityRag)
Aw, shucks, Canada’s hottest export returns! (DailyStab)
Gaga’s husky voice comes from the Whiskey Yoga Diet (GirlsTalkinSmack)
I always forget which one is Korny (FitFabCeleb)
Bieber creamed! (SeriouslyOMG)
Daniel Radcliffe is all Aw Shucks (CeleBitchy)
She’s a niblet, and shrinking! (TheSkinny)
Nice stalks! (GossipTeen)
Is that a corncob in your pocket, Brad, or??? (HaveUHeard)
If Gwyneth Paltrow is a vegan, does that make her a cannibal? (AmyGrindhouse)
Britney got her silks combed (PoorBritney)
Sui, Sui, pig, pig, pig (PopBytes)
Mariah’s ready to pop (EvilBeet)
It’s no secret that Joan Collins is not like other mortals (we’re not even sure she’s mortal to begin with). She is, of all the world, perhaps the person you would Least Like to Spill Your Drink On, particularly as she’s invariably clad head-to-toe in egret feathers and charmeuse, and that’s just for a run to Starbucks. But let us pause for a moment and cast our minds back to an earlier age: an age when the mighty Joan Collins was just a superannuated It Girl who was That Tragic Do-Gooder Kirk Got Off With in City on the Edge of Forever (incidentally, perhaps, the greatest single episode of science fiction television ever filmed, and don’t even START with me, you Babylon5ies!). An age when a B-list vaudevillian might get away with something like this:
Joan Collins and Leonard Rossiter star in Cinzano ads filmed between 1978 and 1983. The executive who dreamed up these ads used to discuss pitches with a hand puppet called Sniffy.
Clearly, the world has changed. It is Hers now.
His protestations to the contrary, we have conclusive proof that Viggo Mortensen is a Red Wings fan.
And that’s just too gross to explain, even for me.
Wash your mind’s eye out with a Muff Diver shooter (no hands, please!) and a few gossip links:
Zachary Quinto has a message for young people (Lolebrity)
Who won the fashion wars? (Ayyyy)
The St Valentine’s Day Massacre/Roundup (raincoaster)
The most perfect food in the world, in 926 words (ManoloFood)
Charlie Sheen pulls an Edith Piaf (AgentBedhead)
You know, I’d pay good money to watch her in the UFC ring (BusyBeeBlogger)
Tila Tequila has gone Amish on us (CelebDirtyLaundry)
In fairness, I’d snub Avril Lavigne too (CelebritySmack)
Wait till Shia LaBeouf hears about this! (CelebVIPLounge)
I don’t blame him: EVERYONE hates Daleks (CityRag)
Anne Hathaway wears support hose! (FitFabCeleb)
Celebrity fashion week (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Gosh, Emma Watson, lay off the ‘roids! (GossipTeen)
Lance Armstrong has had more comebacks than Cher (HaveUHeard)
A bunch of Yanks at the Brit Awards, why? (INeedMyFix)
Britney’s leaking! (PoorBritney)
Who invited HER? (TheSkinny)