I think it says a lot about my age when every time I see anything about the new Transformers movie, my mind automatically turns it into “The Dark Side of the Moon.”
I don’t know much about Shia LeBeouf. Well, actually, he seems kind of like a self-centered jerk. But what I do know is that since he ruined the last Indiana Jones movie for me, I refuse to pay money to watch him perform. Cate Blanchett wasn’t any good in the movie either, but it’s Cate Blanchett. Galadriel gets a lifetime pass.
My lovely colleague raincoaster has been temporarily sidelined. So I am stepping in to fill some very large, albeit gin-soaked, shoes. Unfortunately, I lack raincoaster’s Assange/alcohol/Viggo obsessions, but hopefully she will be back sooner rather than later.
Today I present alleged singer Porcelain Black, fresh from the BET awards.
Hon, you know you’ve got problems when a 3 year old rocks the cone bra better than you do.
Finally, the US government does something I like: they celebrate the immortal holiday known around the world (or at least around the Capitol) as Seersucker Thursday. Guess what they do on Seersucker Thursday? Sure, wear seersucker suits, but they also…um.
Play seersucker games?
Eat special seersucker foods?
It is indeed difficult to go wrong with seersucker, perhaps the greatest of America’s innumerable contributions to fabric; however, as the woman on the far right demonstrates, it is indeed possible.
Diagonals? Really??? Diagonals? Somebody didn’t go to boarding school!
It is time to announce our winner in Friday’s caption contest. Who will it be? Well, it sure won’t be the woman who had to wear the damn thing.
June 18, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Congratulations and virtual swag to first-time winner, igirl99. For her hypothetical swag, we virtually offer the imaginary Ettika black leather double wrap tennis bracelet:
You know what to do: do it in the comments section.
And your ballsy gossip links for today:
Bonsai Kitten: all new for 2011! The world’s greatest novelty pet fad is back and better than ever! (raincoaster)
You can call him Mister Tripod: is that a handycam in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? (Ayyyy)
Hey Fidel, that’s for the Bay of Pigs! Celebrate July 4th with patrioalcoholism! (Manolofood)
Make Out, Not War! Now that is what I call a classic Vancouver response to a crisis. Stop, drop and roll…your girlfriend! (Lolebrity)
Does Green Lantern turn on the critics? You’ll have to read the review to find out, but what are the odds, eh? (Crasstalk)
Keanu Reeves: you can take the boy out of the 90′s but you can’t take the sad, emo 90′s backlash against randomly bestowed, crushing celebrity out of the boy. Apparently. (AgentBedhead)
Thanks for giving birth to he world’s most perfect baby, Natalie. Now get back to work! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Michael Lohan proves prayers do come true! In related news, Samantha Ronson is now a bus driver? (CelebDirtyLaundry)
If you don’t like the mealticket, get off the gravy train. Are we supposed to feel sorry for Paris Hilton now? (EarSucker)
A Decade in Sexiest Man Alive covers: which one is your panty-moistener of choice? (FitFabCeleb)
Celebrities in Cat’s Eye glasses. I knew Audrey Hepburn. Audrey Hepburn was a girlcrush of mine. And You, Missy, are no Audrey Hepburn. (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Kathy Griffin goes down on Bristol Palin??? What, clickbaiting again? Moi? (HaveUHeard)
Yes, all Canadians are as crazy as Jim Carrey. It’s true. It’s a FACT. So don’t even think about invading? Okay, thanks! Sorry for 1812. Really. Let’s have coffee sometime… (HollywoodHiccups)
Ryan Reynolds shirtless sixteen times. Never let it be said I refused to pander. The things I do for you people! (Swoonworthy)