Archive - October, 2011

Tricks? Or Treats?

Say hello to your new favorite blog: HalloweenOrWilliamsburg!

Morpheus of Williamsburg

Morpheus of Williamsburg

“You take the blue pill — the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill — you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

What? No, I’m not ‘supposed to be Morpheus.’ I’m trying to sell you ecstasy.”

Just when you thought making fun of hipsters was dead, it springs back to life like the unstoppable killer in a slasher flick, only with less interpersonal engagement. Hours of fun for the whole family, starting with your family right here at the Manolosphere. We’ve scoured the far reaches of that week-old blog to bring you the finest in Caption Contest entertainment, so sharpen your claws and get to work in the comments:

I can see clearly now

I can see clearly now...that I look like an idiot

Net Loss

Kate Bosworth Blinding Burberry

Kate Bosworth Blinding Burberry

Pity the lovely (yet somewhat gnarled) Kate Bosworth, seen here trying to get as far away as possible from her party frock. No matter how much Burberry paid her to get into that monstrosity, it couldn’t have been easy to appear in public this way. It’s as the designer got incredibly high on acid and created to commemorate a gruesome, drawn-out butterfly death scene from Pink Floyd:’s The Wall.

They wouldn’t do this to Emma Watson, would they Kate?

The Generation, Gaped.

The esteemed author

The esteemed author

No, that’s not a typo. You’ll gape, too, at this amazing video of a sweet little old lady reading Snooki’s tweets.

I’m not sure what Hava Nagila is doing at the end there. Maybe they’re trying to convert her? She looks like she could use some nice grandparents like these to straighten her out, frankly.

I Heigt It

Katherine Heigl looks like the world's worst superhero

Katherine Heigl looks like the world's worst superhero

Does she not look as if she’d just pissed off the Bad Fairy of Bergdorf’s and been cursed with the outfit from a 1972 barfly? Either that or she just got out of the vet’s and her cone split right down the middle when she turned her head.

This one's better looking than Heigl

This one's better looking than Heigl and better dressed too

The $30,000 %

Kanye is Pre-Occupied

Kanye is Pre-Occupied

Kanye West Occupied Wall Street yesterday, wearing $30,000 of clothing and accessories (not counting the necklaces). Yes, that’s a Givenchy plaid shirt, not a $15 Mark’s Work Warehouse one. You can totally tell, right? I know! It’s as if he’s in costume as a time traveler from 1992,come to kidnap John Cusack and take him back to the Land of Poorly Thought Out Sequels. Please, Kanye, leave our GenX icons and crunchy granola protesters alone!

The Return of Lilo!

Lindsay Lohan would like to inquire as to what, specifically, Willis is discussing.

Lindsay Lohan would like to inquire as to what, specifically, Willis is discussing.

It’s great to see gossip blog stalwart Lindsay Lohan climbing back into that cover girl saddle and debuting a radical new look at her latest probation hearing. Ayyyy would like to extend to Ms. Lohan our congratulations on Black and Blue Steel.

Smells Fishy

Halloween’s almost here, folks, and if you’re not Lady Gaga that means it’s your one chance to bust a radical move in the costume department. May I suggest wrapping yourself in layers of irony by purchasing Bette Midler’s original costume for that beloved mermaid, Delores Del Lago, the Toast of Chicago?

Dolores Del Lago, the Toast of Chicago

Delores Del Lago, the Toast of Chicago

Bidding is open at $500, and they estimate that it’ll close at less than $2000, which is a steal any way you look at it.

A fuchsia fish scale printed and hand painted, panne velvet mermaid costume with nude, clam shell top all heavily embellished with crystals. Together with matching feather head piece. Worn by Midler as she portrayed one of her signature characters, Delores de Lago during performances of her February 2008 through January 2010 show at the Colosseum at Caesars Palace Las Vegas, The Showgirl Must Go On.

“Gaga, here’s your chance!!” – Bette

If you’re a perfectionist (Gaga, I am looking at you) you can also pick up the whole wheelchair chorus line as well as their mermaid costumes. But in order to fill out the original costume, girl, you gonna hafta eat a sammich.

Canadian Content

Contrary to popular opinion, our boots up in Canuckistan are not just made for running behind dogsleds. Sometimes they are made for  Marcher.

via JennyRojo

There you go: living proof textured hose are NOT your friend. Brave of her to allow herself to be shot from below while wearing a miniskirt, but then Quebec was always transgressive that way.

And should you care to compare and contrast with the Nancy Sinatra version, here you go:

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