Archive - February, 2012

Open Wide

Angelina Opens Wide

Angelina Opens Wide

Oh dear. Looks like SOMEBODY bought the wrong size tampon!

Post-Friday Caption Contest: Stella McCartney Edition

Oh, Stella, this is not your best work. We’re going to do it to you in the captions, and we’re going to do it to you hard.

Stella McCartney

Stella McCartney

Adeleney!

We’re big fans of mashups around these parts (what do you mean, “what do you mean?” Aw, you love ‘em, you know you do). Well, you’re going to love this one: Adele’s Rolling in the Deep mashed up with Britney Spears’ Till the World Ends. It’s Friday. It’s time to get your post-apocalyptic freak on, and you could do a lot worse than to start by dancing around the apartment to this. It’s particularly good if you’ve just had a breakup: Dude, you pissed me off so much, I’m going all Mad Max on your shizz AND taking the planet with me.

Oh, and you are NEVER getting your Nirvana CDs back.

Hump Day Hunk: Daniel Radcliffe GIF

Over at the DailyDot I’ve gotten the job of supplying the Morning GIF every weekday, and many and varied are the delights of the GIFosphere. Not infrequently I find one that is intrinsically delightful, yet unsuited for the Dot through no fault of its own, and in that category is this truly faultless set of animated (extremely animated!) DanRads.

Have Kids Daniel1

Have Kids Daniel1

Have Kids Daniel2

Have Kids Daniel2

Have Kids Daniel3

Have Kids Daniel3

Have Kids Daniel4

Have Kids Daniel4

Ladies, please form an orderly line to the right.

Slightly-Delayed Friday Caption Contest Results: Waisting Away Edition

We’re back! Just in time to announce our winner of last week’s Caption Contest. Congratulations to all our entries, who kept it clean, kept it funny, and kept it WAY more polite than I would have.

SAMMICH, girl. Dayum!

SAMMICH, girl. Dayum! Your elbow shouldn't be the widest part of your arm

skahammer
February 12, 2012 at 2:15 am

Responding to IMF demands, the Romanian government’s belt-tightening measures sadly went too far.

Congratulations and imaginary swag to Skahammer! For our winner of indeterminate gender and undetermined circumference, we hypothetically present the entirely virtual swag of the actually real but in this case imago-swaginary New Yorker belt with solid silver fittings, from Vogt Silvesmiths. Talk about a money belt!

New Yorker Belt

Hump Day Hunk: Benedict Cumberbatch

Benedict Cumberbatch

Benedict Cumberbatch

Don’t say I never did nuthin’ for ya…that is, if ya are an Anglophilic Sherlock Holmes fan who just can’t get enough of your literate and literary pin-up boy. Here he is, keepin’ it real in the Inner City.

Moriarty, by the way, is also real, or so we hear.

The Great Grammy Roundup of 2012

Well, it was a great Grammys, wasn’t it? Whether you were into Epic FAIL or Epic Win, it was one of the most entertaining live broadcasts of the past year at the very least.

LLVERYCOOLJ

LLVERYCOOLJ

To start with: LLCoolJ. Just yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!

Whew!

Mini Minaj at the 54th Annual Grammy Awards

Mini Minaj at the 54th Annual Grammy Awards

Also: Mini Minajes = adorbz. Sophia Grace and Rosie are the two little girls who rose to fame (and Ellen appearance) by being adorable and performing a Nicki Minaj song for their proud parents, who posted it on YouTube, where it went viral. Believe me, WAY more entertaining than “Roman,” and I ain’t even Catholic!

Anne Get Your Gonch

Anne Get Your Gonch

Anne Vyalitsyna is apparently a Victoria’s Secret model. Let me tell you, Victoria couldn’t have any secrets in that dress. She looks like she rushed out of the ladies’ room with half her skirt tucked into her tampon.

Fergie is straight laced

Fergie is straight laced

Fergie’s own husband tweeted, “I see London, I see France…” On the other hand, yay for bringing Granny Pants back. No doubt a contract from Playtex is en route.

Kelly Osbourne attributes her makeover to a bat-free diet

Kelly Osbourne attributes her makeover to a bat-free diet

Surprise success of the night: the formerly-revolting Kelly Osbourne. How classic! The hair even coordinates with the tats!

And now: ADELE.

First of all, although I can’t find any still photos of it, I loved her second dress of the night, the one in the video. The Armani in which she started the evening was pretty enough, but frankly looked like a plain old vintage piece in that sparkly polyester everybody’s Nana used to wear to parties where she wanted to feel sexy at sixty. This is one of the downfalls of black; the details become invisible. The second, cocktail-length dress, was pretty, old-fashioned, with just the right amount of detailing highlighted by cream underlay, and the fact that the big silver metal zipper in the back (which was inexpertly sewn) was visible every time she turned around was, frankly, completely endearing.

Win! All the! GRAMMYS! ADELE!

Win! All the! GRAMMYS! ADELE!

Also, I MUST have this lipstick, if not the entire look. Internet, can you help me?

Of course you can. Presenting: Adele at the Grammys: the makeup tutorial!

 

Slightly-Delayed Friday Caption Contest: Waisting Away

Behold the “glories” of Romanian model and poor liar Ioana Spangenberg, who claims she eats three big meals a day. I remember when Marie Osmond was boasting of a “natural” twenty inch waist” too; those were the days she was eating one apple a day and throwing it up, and she’s not five six. Nor, frankly, are many models who don’t work on fetish sites. Do your best/worst to the Human Skeleton in the comments, and points will be lost for obviousness for anyone who posts “eat a sammich.”

SAMMICH, girl. Dayum!

SAMMICH, girl. Dayum! Your elbow shouldn't be the widest part of your arm

Page 1 of 212»