Archive - August, 2012

Murse of the Moment

Jil Sander Murse

Jil Sander Murse

This, my friends, is a paper bag.

It is not just any paper bag.

It is a paper bag designed by famed German minimalist Jil Sander, and it retails for £185 or $292.59US.

But you don’t want it.

This is the medium size, and at a mere 14″x8″x5″ it is nowhere near large enough to hold the dosage of shame you should have to cart around for paying for the damn thing in the first place.

Friday Caption Contest Results: Celine Scream Edition

This terrifying apparition left most of you speechless, but we do have a couple of good entries. As always, there could be only one winner.

Celine Dion

Celine Dion

dr nic August 24, 2012 at 4:02 pm

In an attempt to attract a bigger following, the Easter Bunny has decided to cash in on Santa’s game and carry toys to give out with the candy.

Congrats and imaginary swag to dr nic! For the hypothetical trophy of virtual glory, we hereby present this, the world’s most expensive Easter Bunny from Harrods.

Gold Bunny

Gold Bunny

Friday Caption Contest: Celine Scream Edition

You know what to do. Do it in the comments.

Celine Dion

Celine Dion

Jeremy Renner is coordinated!

Jeremy Renner is coordinated

Jeremy Renner is coordinated

From the blog of Ouyang Dan and the Department of Intriguing Questions comes:

How do you get socks to match a watch? I’m just curious!

Enquiring minds want to know…

Geri Halliwell’s military mourning

Old Spice

Old Spice

This is what happens when someone combines Commando and Half Mast.

RIP Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, “Who could have done this? We have no enemies.”

Phyllis Diller

As they say on Tumblr, GPOY.

Phyllis Diller is my spirit animal, and now that she’s gone to meet her maker (he’s SCARED and he’s getting out the good cocktail glasses) the world is a duller place. It is even a less stylish place.

Gaga, Keshia, and Nicki Minaj are just going to have to find someone else to rip off.

Phyllis Diller tiptoes through the tulips

Phyllis Diller tiptoes through the tulips

There is no neck, however heinous, that cannot be improved upon by an enormous collar of plastic beads.

Phyllis Diller before and after

Phyllis Diller before and after

When in doubt, add eyelashes. And rhinestones, in case the eyelashes feel conspicuous.

Phyllis Diller's hair raising situation

Phyllis Diller’s hair raising situation

I don’t know what the question was, but the answer was obviously “VOLUME!”

Phyllis Diller vs Hairdressers

Phyllis Diller vs Hairdressers

You can hardly blame them for putting a price on her head. At least, parts of it.

Phyllis Diller was an American Rose

Phyllis Diller was an American Rose

How I wish I could have found a recording of her singing The Rose, but as a consolation prize here she is singing her theme song, “(I can’t get no) Satisfaction). Yes, really.

Russian Innovation

Pavel Petel Boot Spats Stylin Russian Style

Pavel Petel Boot Spats Stylin Russian Style

Here we see Comrade Found Porn Object Pavel Petel posing in pretend boots. Nothing, NOTHING says 21st Century stylish like Boot Spats!

Should you care to peruse Comrade Petel’s extremely NSFW Tumblr, it’s here, and you can thank DListed for the pleasure. PS I never thought they were supposed to go around the “Christmas ornaments” as well.

Friday Caption Contest Results: KISSimmons Edition

Apparently Dear Richard has taken to wearing fancy dress around LA in a successful effort to garner paparazzi photos. The poor man. Well, it’s a Kardashian world; can you blame this formerly-dignified figure for pandering, slightly? We honoured him with our best captions, and now it’s time to announce the winner.

Richard Simmons has had a makeover

Richard Simmons has had a makeover

Pete Howorth August 10, 2012 at 8:39 am #

My mother, ready for a night at the bingo.

Supercongrats to first-time winner Pete! What imaginary swag shall we hypothetically present to our virtual champion? There can be only one (choice).Authentic KISS Destroyer Boots!!

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