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June, 2013 | Ayyyy!
Archive - June, 2013

Crocodile Bag Lady

Crocodile bag lady

Crocodile bag lady

You’re never too old for grunge! A middle-aged bag lady busts a gummy grin to show her appreciation for a good plaid flannel shirt as she gathers up scraps of fabric from which to form swaddling clothes for her squalling offspring.

PS I h8 u

Katy Perry stars in Pirates of the San Fernando Valley

Katy Perry stars in Pirates of the San Fernando Valley

I must be losing my edge. I still dislike Katy Perry and think she’s a classic example of making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, but at least lately she’s a much more plausible-looking silk purse. And it’s hard not to feel bad even for a talentless meat puppet who made it big by faking lesbianism and shooting fireworks out of her bustier once you learn that Russell Brand informed her via text message that he was divorcing her.

He could have at least Skyped.

Fashion as Horse Race

Welcome to Chantilly, bitches.

Chantilly 164th Prix de Diane, horse race

Chantilly 164th Prix de Diane, horse race

BAM! And that is how you dress for a great stakes race. For how you dress for a claiming race, see the “acid wash” tag.

Greatest Lifetime Movie in History or GREATEST LIFETIME MOVIE IN HISTORY?

Holiday Horror

Holiday Horror


I have no idea, because we don’t get Lifetime movies up here in Canuckistan, and it’s not on Bittorrent (I was only checking for research purposes, you undertsand). But if you have Lifetime, apparently you’ll see it sooner or later.

Deadly Spa!

When Dawn, an overworked single mother, agrees to take her teenage daughter, Kayla, to a luxurious but isolated spa retreat, the women believe they have escaped to a paradise of spa treatments, yoga, and nature hikes until a series of disturbing incidents has Kayla questioning the perfection around her.  Kayla is convinced they have to leave but Dawn is now hooked on the fantasy constructed by David James, the handsome and charismatic founder of The Source.  The two women split up, with Kayla determined to hike out of the wilderness no matter what it takes while Dawn must come to terms with her own perception of reality and the growing fear that her daughter was right and has now disappeared.

Now, a bit of background. Waaay back in the last century, I was allowed to declare it a holiday any time Satan’s School For Girls came on late at night, I would be allowed to call a sleepover and take the next morning off school. The whole thing was worth at least one school-free morning per year. Now at last comes the perfect pair to make it a double bill!

And by all means, read the best movie review that I’ve seen since Ishtar came out.

Until it’s available on download, I’ll have to content myself with the comically dated eighties effort Death Spa instead!

Wednesday Caption Contest: Cicely Tyson Edition

If you can’t wear this to the Tony Awards, were CAN you wear it? You know what to do, so do it in the captions for fabulous, completely imaginary prizes.

Cicely Tyson at the Tony Awards

Cicely Tyson at the Tony Awards

 

Paris Chic: Rihanna

Rihanna loses control

Rihanna loses control

No question: The Eiffel Tower is indeed exciting, just not perhaps quite that exciting.

Rihanna Moneybags

Rihanna Moneybags

Rihanna Moneybags

Oh RiRi, can you spare a dime? Singer Rihanna is pictured here leaving her personal bankers, Gringotts and Goldman, and was overheard complaining about the difficulty of finding a wallet of appropriate size.

Tuesday Caption Contest: Ingrid Bergman, Hedda Hopper, Ann Sheridan Edition

You know what to do, do it in the comments section.

a three celebrity sandwich

a three celebrity sandwich

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